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Mario Kart World – Four Months Later

Keep on Karting

If you read my previous article about Mario Kart World (written on the day of release, I believe), you might remember that I said my favourite thing to do was drive across water. I’ve since changed this opinion. Don’t get me wrong, tricking off the crest of dynamic waves caused by exploding blue shells and bob-ombs is good, chaotic fun, but the long stretches of calm water actually tend to be the low-points of your average intermission.

Right, now that I’ve retconned that outrageous take, let’s talk about how Mario Kart World is holding up four months after release to a casual player like me. I’ve seen loads of analysis online, but YouTube suggests the popular analysis and the popular analysis is made by competitive, online players. I play Mario Kart World with my daughter, I can barely remember where all the whacky rail shortcuts are supposed to be let alone hit them with anything remotely resembling consistency, and I don’t need to be constantly challenged and faced with split second decisions at all times to stay entertained. Sometimes I just want to look at a nice sunset and listen to some cool music while I strategically place banana peels on the tarmac.

Well, Mario Kart World has plenty of dazzling vistas and an awesome soundtrack to go along with them. Many of the tunes have made it onto my list of regularly played video game music pieces on YouTube, and I often find myself whistling the themes to Faraway Oasis or Cheep Cheep Falls while at work, much to the chagrin of my new manager who apparently doesn’t like whistling. Maybe she just doesn’t like my whistling. Sucks to be her, I guess.

I only played as King Boo for a bit of screenshot variety.

The actual racing gameplay of Mario Kart World is best in class, too. All of the courses are awesome, with very few tracks that come across as weak or forgettable, and this latest iteration of Rainbow Road is absolutely stunning. I was quite moved on my first play-through, dazzled by the gorgeous visuals, glorious music, and beautiful set-pieces. What an experience.

I also don’t mind the intermissions, and I guess this is where my casual nature – and my lack of interest in playing online – comes in. It’s nice to just blast through some open lanes, chucking shells at my fellow road-users and taking in the sights. Sure, I don’t always want to play them, but it’s easy enough to do a series of full courses while offline, so I really don’t see them as an issue. So far, so good, right? Right. Well, I do have some concerns, and they’re mostly to do with the open world.

I’ve always had a thing with driving games where I imagine longingly what it would be like to break free from the track and drive wherever I wish. I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling. Whether its being fascinated by those pixelated mountains on unattainable horizons in Lotus Turbo Challenge, being compelled to veer off the track and direct my Lancia Delta into the Finnish forests in Colin McRae Rally ’04, or indeed wondering what’s beyond those colourful, ocularly endowed hills in earlier Mario Kart games. However, when I do play games that actually allow you to do this, I tend to fall off of them pretty quickly, the Forza Horizon series being an appropriate example. I guess the realised worlds, no matter how gorgeous and expansive, can never live up to our imaginations.

I thought that Mario Kart World might be the exception – this is a big budget game made by one of Nintendo’s top level teams, after all – but it’s actually kind of empty. There’s stuff to do, like the missions and the blocks and the Peach coins, but there’s also a heck of a lot of nothing, and the missions, blocks, and coins only unlock stickers anyway. The stickers are wonderfully designed, but all you can do is look at them (and choose one for your little emblem, I think?). It’s been said many times, but it would have made way more sense if the outfits and characters were locked behind these open world aspects. The way you unlock both seems crazy to me. Why are outfits locked behind food? Why are characters locked behind the barely-seen Kamek item? Both mechanics just feel esoteric and unfinished.

Mario Kart World’s open world is beautiful, and I do enjoy driving around, finding missions, listening to the music and taking in the scenery with Daisy, the best princess of all, but it’s also a facade. There’s not really anything going on, the toads, yoshis, and shyguys wave and get in and out of their cars, but they’re not really doing anything, there are no real secrets to find, very little in the way of Easter eggs or cool hard-to-reach areas (I don’t count Daisy’s palace because it’s, well, right there), and no one to interact with outside of the occasional Chargin’ Chuck who you’ve got to hit with a green shell. No secret Blooper cave, no mysterious, caged Thwomp that the internet can theorize over, no out-of-the-way corner where a strange, creepy sound plays for no apparent reason. It’s just a bit bland, and I wanted more.

It helps if you think of it as more of a theme park than an actual functioning, populated landmass, but that still doesn’t make up for the general emptiness. Still, they’ve just added an update with a few more UFOs around the place, and they’ve apparently addressed that thing that people are upset about online with the intermissions. There’s no telling what future DLC might bring, so I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out as the game inevitably grows, and in the meantime, playing the cups and the knockout tours with my daughter is always going to be great for an hour of fun. Still, my dreams of exploring a vast, beautiful and interesting Nintendo-fied world and immersing myself in the bright colours as a form of beautiful escapism during these trying times have not come to pass.

The music often adds to the theme park vibe.

It’s still the only proper Switch 2 game I own. I’ve got Metroid Prime 4: Beyond preordered, and will hopefully be getting Yooka-Re-Playee because it looks great and is getting a proper physical release, but I’d like to have a few more excuses to turn my new Nintendo on other than using it to play Switch games. I’m a little worried that my Switch 2 collection won’t grow to epic proportions, as I refuse to buy key cards and the grand majority of third parties seem to be going with them even when they’re releasing their games physically on other consoles. That’s another rant, though, that I don’t want to get into right now. Let’s try to stay focused on the matter at hand. Mario Kart World; it’s bloody great in some ways and somewhat disappointing in others. I should’ve just said that at the start and saved everyone some time.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound vs. Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Battle of the Ninja

Sometime in the last couple of years, the planets aligned on the same night that a full moon cast an eerie light over the bamboo forests at the base of Mount Fuji, and two separate studios came up with the idea of resurrecting a classic 2D ninja franchise for modern consoles at the same time. Lizardcube dragged Joe Musashi out of the shadows with the Sega-published Shinobi: Art of Vengeance, and The Game Kitchen shone a spotlight on Ryu Hayabusa, creating the Koei Tecmo and Dotemu-published Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound. Well, kind of. Ryu Hayabusa is in the game, but he’s not playable.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound came out first, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance was the first one to get a physical release, so it was the first one I played. I was going to buy them both on Switch, but the boxed release of Shinobi was a code-in-a-box, which I soundly rejected as everyone should, so I got that one on PS5. Still, I played Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound docked on my Switch 2, and didn’t notice any particular performance issues in either game, so I think it’s still a fair fight. As such, it’s time for me to figure out which 2D ninja action game is the best, and I do this as a fan of both franchises who is old enough to have played both back when they were first released. No ninja favouritism from me!

I’m going to use the most coveted and respected review setup of all, that being the method adopted by premier 90’s periodical, Mean Machines Sega. As such, we’ll be judging each title on the following aspects; Presentation, Graphics, Sound, Playability, Lastability, and Overall. Make sense? No, not to me either, but we’ll get into that shortly, so get your tabi on and bring your kunai, it’s time to take to the shadows.

Presentation

So, what’s the difference between presentation and graphics/sound, then? I guess I’m just not on the level of those fabled Mean Machines Sega writers of old, because I don’t really get it. I’ll tell you what, I’ll use this section to talk about each title’s story setup instead. That’s kind of like presentation.

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance’s story is pretty basic, with a fairly unremarkable bad guy who is leading an enormous and incredibly well-equipped army of soldiers, creatures, and demons on a steamroller journey of world domination. The bad guy, known as Lord Ruse, has somehow cheated Death (yes, the Death) out of his scythe, and so wields incredible power. Ruse’s forces hit Musashi’s village early on and burn the whole place to the ground, murdering everyone except Joe and Joe’s pregnant wife. Mr. Musashi is obviously fairly pissed, and goes on his own rampage with vengeance on his mind.

Being able to play as a ninja of the Black Spider Clan is pretty cool for Ninja Gaiden fans.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound has an interesting story hook in which main character, Kenji of the Hayabusa Clan, ends up becoming a vessel for the soul of Kumori, an equally skilled kunoichi aligned with the shady Black Spider Clan. The two must work together to defeat the minions of a powerful fiend who plans to open the veil into the human world and wreak havoc. The bad guys feel less important than those of Shinobi: The Art of Vengeance, but the relationship between Kenji and Kumori is actually pretty fun to see develop, and the game’s finale wraps up their story in a surprising way, so I think this one takes it.

Winner: Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound

Graphics

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance goes for that playing-a-comic art-style that Lizardcube had previously used for Streets of Rage 4. It looked great for that game, and it looks great here, and most of the enemy designs are very memorable (I especially like the big guys with the electric gauntlet weapons).

The symbol over this unfortunate fellow’s head means that he’s ready to be executed. Finish him off, Joe!

The backgrounds can be spectacular, with highlights including the sparkling lantern festival, the gorgeous fields that the game starts in, and the rooftops of the night-time city stage. Where Shinobi: Art of Vengeance really excels though is in its animation. Joe’s movements are incredibly fluid and the battles look spectacular, and this helps you feel super cool and badass when you pull off spectacular moves while managing to avoid damage.

Do the visuals lose some personality and authenticity with the move away from pixel art, though? Possibly, and occasionally it feels like the backgrounds lack detail, but it’s a superb-looking game overall nonetheless.

Both games feature a really cool-looking bamboo forest early on.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound has more of a retro feel, opting for the familiar pixel art style. This looks great, although perhaps not as striking as Shinobi. Some of the backgrounds look awesome, especially the early-game bamboo forest and the areas in and around Mount Fuji. However, there were locations that I thought were a little bland with uninteresting colour palettes, especially the stage that’s a big construction area. I also found that Keni’s arms looked cartoonishly huge when he was holding onto the ceiling or hanging off a helicopter. Both he and Kumori’s sprites are gorgeous, though.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound gives players the option to turn off the gore, but honestly it’s pretty cartoony anyway.

Interestingly, both games have a couple of levels and a sub-section of enemies based around body horror themes, and both of them kind of fall flat when it comes to making it, well, gross enough. You know, that sort of stuff should send shivers down your spine, leave you morbidly fascinated and unable to look away despite the soul-clenching nature of what you’re seeing. For an example, look at Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master and its Hydra boss fight, as well as the stage that proceeds it. Shinobi: Art of Vengeance’s gribblies look too clean and sleek thanks to the art style. Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound’s pixel art style gives the twisted horrors a bit more of a visceral nature, but they still look a bit too cartoony to be effective, even the monstrosity fought at the end of the train stage. Disappointing.

Honestly, there were times during Shinobi: Art of Vengeance where I found myself wishing it went for a pixel art style (especially in the underground laboratory level), but I think that it looks better overall. Both games look great, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance has that extra edge. Lizarcube are winning this one, but it’s darned close.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Sound

While both games sound good, and both games have great, appropriately action-packed soundtracks, only Shinobi: Art of Vengeance had any pieces that I remembered after I’d finished the game. They were the track that plays during the “Ankou Rift” sections, and the battle music from the Lantern Festival stage, if anyone is interested.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Playability

Here we go, the meat and potatoes of any ninja game, or should that be the rice and tofu? Let’s get one thing cleared up straight away; Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is harder. I beat most bosses in Shinobi: Art of Vengeance on my second try, and didn’t have any real trouble until the very last showdown with Lord Ruse himself. The first boss in Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound (a giant fire bat monster demon guy) took me numerous retries, and things only got more challenging. It never felt insurmountable, though, and I persevered and finished the game in the end. Incidentally, Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn (click here for my review), is harder than either of these games.

This floating boss might not look like much, but is an absolute bitch.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is a decidedly old-school action platformer that plays like an updated version of the classic Ninja Gaiden games, and it’s definitely closer to its inspiration than Shinobi. Kenji can do two quick slashes with his sword, and can fling projectiles thanks to Kumori’s assistance. The pair have access to a few equippable special weapons and abilities, and can leap from enemies, projectiles, and certain pick-ups using a mid-air attack, which becomes very important for traversal and combat as the game progresses.

Most enemies fall in one hit, but others are much tougher and require Kenji to get up close and slash away, putting himself at risk of some health bar-sapping counter-attacks. However, there’s a nifty mechanic that can help to make these big boys and girls less of a pain. Certain enemies will have visible auras, and depending on whether you defeat them with the right kind of attack, Kenji can sap this aura, super-powering his next strike, which will make short work of the tougher enemies if you play it right. This mechanic also comes up during every boss fight, and it can feel pretty good when you take out a group of tough enemies or stun a boss thanks to smart use of the available auras.

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance feels much more modern and further away from the Shinobi games of old, with Joe Musashi gaining directional attacks, upgradeable combos, and a satisfying execution move. There’s a similar system of equippable items that have in-game effects, but I felt more compelled to experiment with different loadouts in Musashi’s outing. Art of Vengeance will also have players going back to earlier stages once new abilities have been unlocked in order to get to new areas, and as such it has a bit of a Metroidvania flavour. I’m a fan of the ways Lizardcube have expanded on the traditional gameplay, and it still feels like a Shinobi game despite these changes.

Moving platforms over electrified water with rotating flamethrower turrets. Good luck!

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance also has some devious platforming sections. I didn’t find the Ankou Rifts too bad (optional areas that provide combat or platforming challenges that provide Joe with a stronger weapon if you beat them all) but there were occasional optional areas in the main levels that slipped from challenging to aggravating. The most egregious example of this was a platforming section known as the “secret bunker” in the battlefield stage late in the game. That place was a nightmare, and was the only time I felt like the controls were working against me, but I beat it.

Both games have some really cool set-pieces, including levels based on moving trains, and “mounted” stages, with Shinobi having a mechanised surfboard interlude as well as another one that’s a slight spoiler, and Ninja Gaiden having a couple of sections on a scrambler bike belonging to Kumori. One later stage in Ninja Gaiden has Kenji leaping from vehicle to vehicle in a military convoy, which was a nice bit of spectacle.

You wouldn’t believe how unnaturally talented Kumori is in the saddle.

Lastly, I encountered glitches in both games. Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound had Kumori riding her motorcycle backwards after a collision in one of the on-wheels stages, which was a little confusing and immersion-breaking but didn’t hurt in the long run, but there was one instance of a section of a level starting with Kenji falling through the floor and dying, even when I restarted from the last checkpoint. I had to quit the game completely and restart the level from the beginning to get past it, which was annoying.

Shinobi: The Art of Vengeance hit me with a recurring glitch where the map screen wouldn’t correctly identify where Joe was in the stage, which actually proved to be a major setback when I was searching for the last few collectibles in a stage. Also annoying.

Both games are incredibly smooth and satisfying to play, though, and are challenging in such a way that rarely falls into frustration. However, due to the sheer spectacle and “cool” factor of Shinobi’s combat, I have to hand it to Joe.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Lastability

Well, the campaign in Shinobi: Art of Vengeance is a lot longer. With the expansive, Metroidvania-lite levels and the backtracking Joe Musashi’s adventure will last you a fair bit longer if you’re the type to play through a campaign once and then move on. When the campaign is completed an arcade mode is unlocked where the goal is to finish each stage in a good time while locating all the collectibles and taking as little damage as possible (as well as finishing the boss off using the awesome execution mechanic). Attaining S rank is pretty challenging, and then when you add in the Ankou Rifts, an unlockable boss rush mode, and the optional secret boss, there’s plenty there for completionists to get on with.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is a more focused experience, with the ranking mechanic applied from the beginning of the game. In my experience it was slightly easier to attain an S rank in Ninja Gaiden (depending on whether one of the stage’s challenges involved beating the boss without damage or something crazy like that), but I didn’t especially try for the S ranks in either game so I can’t speak with too much authority on it. Once the campaign is completed a hard mode is unlocked, and there are also secret ops missions which are challenging optional stages in the vein of Shinobi’s Ankou Rifts.

When it comes to sheer content, though, I’ve got to give this one to Mr. Musashi again.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Overall

Well, it’s looking like a bit of a Shinobi whitewash at the moment, but that’s really not the case. Every single category was very close, especially the all-important playability category, and the relationship between Kenji and Kumori in Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound did add a lot of personality to win me over. Of course, Joe Musashi is a legend, and Kenji and Kumori are mere newcomers, but I really enjoyed their interactions and this iteration of Joe comes across as more of a personification of vengeance who says literally one word over the course of the entire game. That does give him a badass edge, though.

Like I said early on, both franchises mean a lot to me. I played and loved the Shinobi games as a kid on the Master System and Mega Drive, but I didn’t play any Ninja Gaiden games until the 2004 reboot and only played the classic games in retrospect. However, whereas I view the Shinobi games as great titles, 2004’s Ninja Gaiden is one of my favourite games of all time, so there’s no real favouritism here. Just based on how I feel about both games, though, I don’t think I can wrangle a plot twist and name Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound as the overall winner despite Shinobi taking most of the categories. It’s great, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance just has that edge, a more palpable “cool” factor, and the combat is so darned satisfying.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Really, though, both games are winners, and I’m just grateful to have had the opportunity to play two brand new 2D ninja action games here in 2025. Which ever game you choose to play you’re in for a fun and challenging time that has plenty of spectacular content to offer, and if you’ve got a few extra pennies, you could always double up. Support your local ninja in these trying times. Buy both!

Alien: Isolation

Is This a Rescue Mission, or Another Bug Hunt?

One of the last scripts I wrote for the sadly-defunct TripleJump YouTube channel was a giant list ranking every single Alien and/or Predator video game ever made. Unfortunately, the channel went under before the video was released, but here’s a peek behind the curtain for you; Sega’s 2014 survival horror hit, Alien: Isolation, was at number one. However, despite heavily featuring the perfect organism in a starring role, Alien: Isolation isn’t a perfect game, but it is probably the closest a video game has come to perfectly capturing the atmosphere of the movie franchise upon which it’s based, Alien or otherwise.

This is Amanda Ripley. Her family line has pretty appalling luck when it comes to run-ins with predatory space bugs.

Creatively assembled by British studio, Creative Assembly, who are most well known for the Total War series and its combination of real-time battles and grand strategy, Alien: Isolation took the developers into unfamiliar territory. With very little experience in the survival horror genre, Creative Assembly made a host of outside hires, and soon enough a 100-strong team were orchestrating visceral encounters and crafting ’70s-style retro tech.

The crew were reportedly handed around three terabytes of production material from 20^th Century Fox, and through deconstructing this “gold mine” of information, they were able to build a startlingly authentic world that specifically recalled the atmosphere of Ridley Scott’s 1979 original. Stellar lighting and graphical effects, flawless sound design, and a talented cast of voice actors all combined with this vision to create one of the most atmospheric and genuine movie-to-game experiences ever seen.

For a game released in 2014, Alien: Isolation’s environments can look pretty insane. The character models are showing their age a bit though.

It’s pretty scary, too. For most of the game, the player character (Amanda Ripley, daughter of the legendary Ellen Ripley) is completely defenceless against the overwhelming speed, power, and bitey bits of the towering xenomorph, and will have to sneak around quietly, hiding in every available nook, cranny, or orifice in order to avoid a swift and gory demise. They even made it so that the alien can hear sounds that come through your mic, breaking the fourth wall in an unsettling manner and making it so that the hoot of an errant owl in your living room can spell death for poor old Amanda. I told you to keep that window shut.

As I already mentioned, though, this is not a perfect game. Progression can fall into a trial and error process at times, and clever players can work out the xenomorph’s AI, thus being able to manipulate the initially panic-inducing monstrosity into easily-avoidable loops. On the other end of that scale, less proficient players might find themselves constantly harassed by the chitinous terror’s perpetual presence, with observers noting that the xenomorph’s AI tends to be a little too adept at homing in on Miss Ripley even when it should logically be at the other end of the station, violently breaking and entering the cranium of some other defenceless schlub.

Can I tell you a secret? I haven’t finished this game. It’s just too long.

It’s at times like this when Alien: Isolation’s cloying horror can teeter on the verge of aggravation and annoyance, and players might find themselves desensitised to Amanda’s torso getting brutally severed by the xenomorph’s spiky tail after the fourteenth time in a row while fear turns to frustration and frustration turns to controller-throwing rage. All of this, along with long stretches of dealing with the less-interesting android enemies, means that Sega’s most beloved Alien adaptation can outstay its welcome a bit.

During its high points, though, Alien: Isolation is excellent – a stunning interpretation of the first film’s timeless atmosphere and an almost unbearably tense and trouser-ruining experience throughout. As the game celebrated its ten-year anniversary in October 2024, Creative Assembly employee and Alien: Isolation creative director, Al Hope, confirmed that the team are working on a follow-up, and if they iron out the annoyances that made Alien: Isolation fall just short of all-time great status, this follow-up has a chance to be the best sequel since Aliens.

The Seegson androids have more in common with Ash than Bishop. That’s a bad thing.

This article was written for the now-defunct Sega Force Mega as part of a planned Halloween special featuring lots of Sega-published Halloween-appropriate games, alongside The Ooze and Devilish. This is the last unpublished article I’d written for that magazine. I updated the intro to reflect the fact that TripleJump are also now defunct.

Mario Kart World – Impressions

It’s a Knockout

I bought a Nintendo Switch 2 on the day of release. I’m not actually sure if I’ve ever done this before. Maybe with the PS Vita? I got really caught up in the hype for that one. Let’s hope the Switch 2 lasts a bit longer than Sony’s sleek, handheld, unwanted stepchild, shall we? The only Switch 2 launch game I was interested in was Mario Kart World (I already own Cyberpunk 2077 twice, okay?) so that was all I bought with it, and I spent most of June the 5^th 2025 racing, battling, free-roaming, and unlocking and beating the Special Cup in 150cc. I like playing as Daisy, but she’s not unlocked from the start. I played as Dry Bones, Mario, and the bee for a bit before I unlocked the Queen of Princesses, and then I never looked back.

Mario Kart World handles better than Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. There, I said it. The karts are more satisfying to control and they feel more like they’re doing what you’re telling them to do. It’s probably a me problem, but I would often find myself frustratingly over-steering on tight corners while drifting in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and trundling off-road, hitting a barrier, or troubling Lakitu. In Mario Kart World when I feel like this oversteer is about to happen I can keep hold of it, and end up hugging the inside line like Travis Pastrana in a flouncy orange dress.

If you jump into that water during free roam, Lakitu will show up and ruin your fun. Only certain bodies of water are accessible. I guess he doesn’t want you to catch a cold.

Being a careful and conscientious kind of fellow, I started playing in 50CC. I do not recommend this if you’re coming from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe as the controls are exactly the same and the handling is close enough that you’ll slide right back into the zone and 50CC will bore you to tears. If you saw all those previewers and YouTubers worrying about the “boring” straightaways during the build up to release, you’re going to live it if you play on 50CC. It’s for young kids and pensioners only. 100CC offers a bit of challenge and the occasional surprise, but 150CC is where it’s at. It feels fast, there’s plenty of chaos, and the other drivers will trouble you for most of the race.

Mario Kart World looks fantastic. The environments are wonderfully designed and the weather effects and skyboxes are gorgeous. As you progress through the cups the tracks really up the ante in spectacle, and there are some awesome moments. My first “okay, this is really fucking good” realisation came during the Wario Stadium circuit later in the Flower Cup that leads into Airship Fortress, and things only escalate from there, culminating in everyone’s favourite kaleidoscopic Mario Kart mainstay. Mario Kart World Rainbow Road is absolutely stunning, by the way. Transcendent, even.

A few of the P-switch missions I’ve encountered involve sliding around on these vines. You’ll tend to mess up if you try and get too fancy, so just keep the stunts to a minimum, okay?

I tried Battle Mode a couple of times. It’s fine, it’s the same as it’s always been. I like that balloon battle is knockout-based again. The arenas are all fairly large so it doesn’t feel overwhelming having 24 characters sliding around everywhere. In fact, you’ll barely see most of the back-markers during standard races, so upping the participant count to 24 seems a little superfluous. It’ll make a difference online, to be sure, but I’ve not dabbled in that yet.

The Knockout Tour is a lot of fun, but again seems geared towards multiplayer. It’s a bit of a shitter to get knocked out late on, but the mode is a good alternative if you fancy something different to standard races. Other than that, the new items seem cool, the costumes are pretty nice (but there aren’t as many as you might hope), and the new characters are cute if you can put aside any misgivings about bats and crabs and other such critters “steering” karts without arms.

Oh yeah, the Free Roam. I like the free roam, but I’m not sure of its lasting appeal. So far, though, I’ve enjoyed mooching around, finding P-switches, and undertaking the little missions. Many of them are tricky enough that you won’t beat them first time, but you can easily restart if you mess up. I’ve found a few Peach Coins and ? Panels, but they only seem to unlock stickers and I haven’t figured out what those do yet.

Would it have been better if they’d brought in some cool characters from the expanded Mario universe (Geno, Vivian, etc…) instead of sticking all these minions in karts? I think so, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

My absolute favourite thing to do in Mario Kart World, though, is race over water. The watery sections of tracks are genuinely spectacular, and tricking off of the crest of the waves as bob-ombs and blue shells cause mini-tsunamis is an absolute blast. Hopefully someone in power at Nintendo will see how cool the water sections of Mario Kart World are and decide to dredge up Wave Race from the depths. We can hope, right?

Jet-ski dreams aside, everyone is talking about the price of Mario Kart World. Is it worth it? That depends on what you’re giving up to afford it. If you’re paying for Mario Kart World instead of feeding your children this week, then I’d probably recommend that you rethink your purchase. If you’re sacrificing a night out on the town for it, then yeah, you’ll probably get more out of this in the long run. Mario Kart World isn’t the next step in gaming, it’s not the ultimate, endless, open world experience that justifies the price hike, it’s just a really good Mario Kart game. It’s possibly the best Mario Kart game yet. I don’t know, just buy it if you want, I guess. I’m not your mum.

Gauntlet IV

Warrior, Valkyrie, Wizard, Elf, and a Couple of Legendary Bards

The idea of the Gauntlet games always appealed to me as a kid. It had that exotic-yet-comfortable classic fantasy vibe, featuring swords and sorcery, Valkyries and barbarians, and hordes of evil minions to slay in the name of justice (probably, I never paid too much attention to the storyline), but it combined this with a heavy dose of good old-fashioned, co-operative multiplayer. The venerable series takes an arcadey approach to dungeon crawling, with its fast-paced, projectile-based combat, maze-like levels, and constantly dwindling health reserves designed to suck up your coins, and leaves concepts like party management and stat wrangling to the likes of Wizardry and SSI’s Gold Box series of stuffy D&D games.

In 1993, a game called Gauntlet IV was released exclusively for the Sega Mega Drive. Developed by M2 and published by Tengen, it served as a sequel as well as a remake, providing a port of the original game as its “Arcade Mode”, and adding in a unique “Quest Mode”, where players could purchase items and access limited character levelling.

The controls are tight and it’s satisfying to lay waste to hordes of enemies. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, though.

The game is good; a very competent translation of Atari’s original title with plenty of added content and four player multiplayer available across Arcade, Quest, and Battle modes. The tried-and-tested Gauntlet gameplay survives intact and the twists put on the formula by M2 are welcome. The graphics are fine, if a little dull (the dragon bosses added in Quest Mode are very flat and barely-animated), the digitised voices are kind of a mess but have a janky charm, and there’s enough content to keep enthusiasts occupied for weeks. A sterling game, but unremarkable by the stellar standards of the Mega Drive’s top titles. Here in 2025, Gauntlet IV is all but forgotten, and it’s no real surprise, as there isn’t a whole lot about the game that makes it stand out.

Well, apart from the fucking incredible music, that is.

That’s right – this isn’t one of my retro reviews, this is a love letter to one of the most overlooked soundtracks on Sega’s 16-bit banger factory, as when it comes to perfectly-realised musical accompaniment, Gauntlet IV is (in my opinion) right up there alongside the three big S’s, Sonic the Hedgehog, Shinobi, and Streets of Rage. The soundtrack was produced by a pair of musical wizards; Hiroshi Sakimoto and Masaharu Iwata, whose best-known works include Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy XII, and combines Conan-style, bleak, heroic fantasy fare with atmospheric electronica to masterful affect.

It may not look like much, but by the four elemental towers does it sound great.

If you look up this soundtrack on YouTube or some other soundtrack-storing app or website, you’ll find that the first five tracks consist of a somewhat generic-sounding main title theme followed by four tempo-shifted versions of a rather grating “Treasure Room” song. You’d be forgiven for writing off the soundtrack as forgettable, uninspired plinky-plonk at this point, but I advise pushing on through, as 16-bit, dark fantasy masterpieces await the determined.

For the last part of this article, just for fun and to indulge myself a bit, I’m going to pick out some of the musical highlights and attempt to flex my creative writing muscles to describe the atmosphere each tune evokes to me. If you read this, perhaps check out the soundtrack and see if it takes you to the same magical places.

Whisper of Phantom

A lone traveller crosses a barren swamp where once a great battle was fought. The warrior’s heartbeat pulses, gripped with fear as he peers into the unnatural darkness, the shapes of twisted trees and the shattered remnants of ancient fortifications looming like spectres from an unnatural mist. Hulking scavenger birds peer from their gnarled perches and unseen creatures skulk in the muck and fog. A lonely pipe or flute plays a distant, unsettling tune that calls to the ghosts of warriors that still haunt this place, the notes occasionally threatening to bring a tone of hope, but always descending into loss and loneliness, perfectly suited to this forsaken, haunted land.

Sortie

A hero returns home from a triumphant victory, the high walls of the city topped with rows of baying admirers and draped with shining pennants. The hero has triumphed through strength of arms, and his servants bring carts loaded with treasures from another land and decorated with grizzly trophies of an ancient and hated foe. The people are elated, foreseeing a time of wealth and plenty, but every great victory comes at a cost, and an ominous, orange sun sets as the mighty gates close behind the hero’s retinue, painting the city’s walls in a blood-red glow. Tonight, though, is a time for rejoicing. They can worry about the future tomorrow.

Adventures of Iron

A band of stalwart warriors defend the walls of a mountain fortress as a storm descends across the walls. The fortress is a rare bastion of good in a barren and savage land, and dark hordes accompanied by furious beasts ascend the rocky slopes. Lumbering giants scale the walls with ease, only to be met by the axes and arrows of the heroic defenders, and minions of the dark gods astride snapping wyvern mounts descend from the darkened skies, but many are brought low by hurtling ballista bolts, their winged corpses crashing on the mountainside below. The tide of the battle is slowly turning. This encounter will be hard fought yet, but beams of golden light begin to penetrate the clouds.

Transparent Obstacle

A group of adventurers have been tempted into a crystalline cave by a malicious spirit. Deep inside, a supernatural light shimmers along shining surfaces, and all sense of space is lost. Powerful treasures and untold riches sit in out-of-reach places beyond thick walls of clear crystal. A jade statuette appears to move out of the corner of an eye, a spoke of radiant, near-invisible thread seems to vibrate, like the web of some unseen arachnid. A passage descends into the earth, both ominous and enticing. The adventurers gather their wits and press onwards, and from some unseen location, an unknown intelligence watches them closely through the eyes of its skittering familiars.

There you go, and I only used a thesaurus once.

Tumblepop

A Tumble in the Jungle

As a small child with a wide-eyed interest in the natural world, I embarked on one or two trips to a place called the Tropiqaria in West Somerset. It was (and still is) a small tropical house and zoo built in and around an old BBC radio transmitter. I have two memories from visiting the Tropiquaria; one school trip during which I held a snake around my neck (they’re dry, not slimy!) and one trip with my parents where I sank a few coins into the single arcade machine that stood near the snack bar.

Over the following thirty years I would think about this game every now and then, surrounded by snakes, lizards and tropical flora as it was, but could never remember the name. It was a single-screen platformer along the lines of Bomb Jack but with a bit of a Ghostbusters vibe; the characters had vacuum guns with packs on their backs, and you’d suck up enemies into your pack and then fire them at other enemies. It was bright and colourful and whimsical, and something about it burrowed into the back of my mind and found a permanent home there.

Incredibly, by using the modern art of “Googling it” I have managed to identify this mysterious game from my youth, so I’d like to bring your attention to Tumblepop, released in 1991 and developed by Data East. Tumblepop is an arcade platformer for up to two players starring a pair of ghost hunters who travel the world, sucking up spooks and blasting them into their allies. The machine was published by Namco in Japan, a company called Leprechaun Inc. in the US, and a company called Mitchell Corporation in Europe. Despite sounding very English, the Mitchell Corporation was apparently a Japanese developer and publisher, and somehow delivered a Tumblepop cabinet to a random exhibition of tropical animals in the depths of the English West Country. Strange how things work out, isn’t it?

The Japanese stages take place during sunset, just like in Road Rash 3. Wait, it’s probably sunrise, come to think of it.

Thanks to the modern gift of emulation, I spent some time today playing Tumblepop on my desktop PC using a USB Nintendo Switch controller, and I have to say I had a pretty good experience with it, despite there being very few lizards nearby. The game definitely has an air of Bomb Jack about it, with its single-screen layouts and backgrounds featuring world landmarks, but the rainbow-hued suction beams of the magic vacuum guns add a whole extra dimension to the gameplay.

After selecting the nation they’d like to save from a simple world map, players will battle through a number of stages, slurping up a variety of enemies as they work their way towards a boss battle. The gameplay is simple and satisfying, and it’s not as tricky as a lot of arcade platformers, but it’s still easy to get caught out with so many enemies packed into the single-screen areas that are capable of attacking from above and below. As you progress through the stages, projectile-spewing baddies will begin to appear, as well as baddie-producing generator-type enemies that take a couple of hits to remove.

Each location has a boss waiting at the end of it, and the bosses tend to dominate the screen and represent an interesting change of pace. Despite each boss encounter having its own simple gimmick they all have the same solution; suck up their minions and empty the tank right in their enormous, ugly faces. Oh, don’t hold the suck button down for too long though, or your guy’s backpack will explode and you’ll lose a life. It’s a tragic and shameful way for a ghost hunter to go out.

Remember when that giant octopus terrorised New York? Yeah that was crazy.

As far as I can tell, Tumblepop was never ported out of the arcade with the single exception of a Game Boy version that was later released for the Nintendo 3DS Virtual Console, meaning that outside of emulation there’s no way of playing Tumblepop in full, living colour – unless you want to track down what must now be an exceptionally rare and obscure arcade machine, that is. I wonder if the Tropiquaria still has theirs? Maybe I’ll go over there soon and check it out. Worst-case scenario; I get to see some turtles.

Expeditions: A MudRunner Game

Man (and Truck) vs. Nature (and Ghosts)

Have you ever been driving at night through country lanes? Cowering behind the wheel from looming, pale branches and convinced of glowing eyes watching from hedgerows? Have you ever seen hunched figures in the distance only to realise it was actually a road sign, or been shocked by the sudden emergence of a wayward owl? SnowRunner has that feeling in spades. I mean, I haven’t noticed any owls, but there are definitely glowing eyes watching from the undergrowth.

If I was writing a script for a YouTube video about non-horror games that have spooky bits in them, SnowRunner would be on it. The aforementioned glowing eyes are the obvious example, but there’s other stuff too, like spooky singing coming from abandoned churches, abandoned villages that are apparently irradiated, and just a general feeling of isolated creepiness once the sun disappears behind that distant ridge of trees.

You want me to go that way, eh? Should I trust this fellow?

There are also trucks in it, big trucks. That’s what the MudRunner/SnowRunner/Spintires games are, by the way; slide into the driver’s seat of a massive truck with vast tyres and chunky metal bits, and smash it into nature. Take on a task, like delivering cargo or finding a broken down truck in the wilderness, and face puddles of sticky mud, fallen trees, swamps, muck, rocks, and dangerous slopes as you try to get from A to B. You will get stuck, but with careful use of your winch, gears, variable tyre pressures, and possibly other vehicles in your fleet, you’ll get satisfyingly unstuck and be able to move on to the next helping of nigh-impassable terrain.

Expeditions: A MudRunner Game is, at the time of writing, the most recent title in the franchise, and eschews the “odd-job guy in rural, isolated locations” feel in favour of an “adventurous type in the literal middle of nowhere” kind of vibe. Most of the massive hardware is gone, with a new focus on “scout” type vehicles, there are no towns, paved roads, or permanent residences around, the player can make use of a drone to scout out the landscape, and most of the missions will be quests of discovery, looking for dinosaur bones or evidence of prehistoric civilisations.

That’s where this game’s weirdness comes in. I’ve not gotten too far yet, but Expeditions: A MudRunner Game feels even more isolated than its predecessors, and many of the missions will send you searching for little statues of odd-looking fellows that seem to point out the direction of safe routes. This paints them in a benevolent light, but they still strike me as kind of creepy. Also, the ones in the desert levels have oars. What are they doing with oars in deserts, eh? Something to do with the large, abundant rivers nearby, you say? A likely story.

I was doing okay until you lot stuck your oar in.

I got lost in Expeditions: A MudRunner Game at first, and I don’t just mean I rolled my truck down a ravine and didn’t know the way back to base. The missions aren’t clear, the controls take some getting used to, and the menus aren’t the most intuitive. I was lost at the beginning of SnowRunner, too, but it wasn’t long before I got out of first gear. The same thing happened here, and I was soon charging up rocky hillsides with wild abandon, and only toppling back down again about half the time.

Expeditions: A MudRunner Game is for those players who preferred the exploration and scouting aspect of SnowRunner and MudRunner, but I must admit that I was mostly happiest when I was hauling cargo along a busted up road with gigantic, muddy swamps along the way, so Expeditions doesn’t scratch that same itch. It’s still kind of spooky though, and I’ve seen posts online about ghosts and bears and UFOs, so who knows what I’ve yet to uncover. I’ll let you know if I find anything in the wilds.

Played on PS5

The Simpsons: Tapped Out

A Long-time Mild Addiction Finally Taps Out

Yesterday, September 26^th 2024, the team behind The Simpsons: Tapped Out mobile game made the surprise announcement that they were pulling the plug on it after 12 years. Online purchases were turned off immediately, the game will be removed from app stores at the end of October, and it will no longer be accessible from January 24^th 2025.

I’ve been playing The Simpsons: Tapped Out on and off since 2013. I’m usually not very good with dates, but I remember this because my wife was pregnant when I first got into it. I don’t remember how I was made aware of it, but I do remember owning a Windows phone at the time, and so having to borrow my wife’s Samsung to play. The Simpsons: Tapped Out was one of the main reasons I transitioned to Android phones, so I’ve got that to thank it for at least.

During those early days, I was something of a local ambassador for the game, and got lots of people addicted to it. This included my wife, my sister, many of my work colleagues and various friends and other acquaintances. Many of these people became dangerously addicted, spending real money on the game, or getting involved in online groups who would hack it somehow, giving access to all of the premium characters and items.

I’ve never been much for “freemium” gaming, and like to pride myself on being very resistant to the dirty little ways they keep you playing, but The Simpsons: Tapped Out was the sole exception to this, and a big part of this is certainly how comfortable I find the Simpsons world. This is due to the show, but also to the love I have for The Simpsons: Hit & Run, probably my favourite game based on a TV or movie franchise ever. Yes, that does include GoldenEye 007.

I still never spent a penny of real money on it. Any premium items I owned were either purchased with the trickle of Donuts (the game’s premium currency) that are earned naturally by playing, or by using Google Play Store credit I’d earned by doing surveys (the only other thing I ever purchase with this credit nowadays is the odd AEW pay-per-view on FITE).

I enjoyed making my little version of Springfield, engaging in the events, and watching the little character animations. I played The Simpsons: Tapped Out during boring shifts, while staying overnight in hospitals, and in queues at Disney World. It wasn’t always good, sometimes the events were kind of lame, the dialogue could go on and on at times, and the buildings had a real scale problem. Certain buildings, like the Duff Arena or Springfield General Hospital, were far too small and dwarfed by other buildings that should have been a fraction of the size. Stuff like that really bugs me but overall the game was good, and felt very authentic to the Simpsons universe.

With the advent of this final announcement, the developers offered a final quest-line, threw a load of premium buildings at players, and handed over 1000+ Donuts for absolutely nothing, so that Springfield enthusiasts could make their final, perfect town before the whole thing gets erased. Alas, at the time of writing, a glitch appears to be causing those 1000+ Donuts to disappear (including mine), but it was a nice thought.

Through the dialogue of the Simpsons family members, the developers said goodbye and thank you to players, and a comment was made about them never being credited, despite it being in their contracts that they would be. This made me realise for possibly the first time that there are indeed real, talented, passionate people behind even freemium trash, and The Simpsons: Tapped Out was always very open about its addictive game loop and capitalistic ways. No one is forced to spend money on these things, after all.

I would like to spruce up my Springfield for a final, big photo (the game allows you to download an image of your town and save it to your device) but I don’t know if I’ll bother. I have a large corner of town with miscellaneous buildings that I didn’t immediately have a place for just scattered aimlessly, and sorting it all out would be a big job that I probably shouldn’t make time for. What’s the point, if the whole thing is tragically fleeting?

Well, that’s a philosophical quandary I don’t want to get into. Instead, I’ll just say farewell to The Simpsons: Tapped Out via an article on my little web site that no one will read. I’ll miss it, but it’ll also be nice to not have to worry about logging on four times a day during those events. I’ll just have to play The Simpsons: Hit & Run when I want my digital Springfield fix.

Video Game Covers

Wanna Talk Box Art? I’ve Got You Covered

One of the many reasons I fear the day when digital distribution replaces the physical game entirely, is that we’ll lose the establishment that is video game box art. I’ve been thinking a lot about video game cover art lately, and have indeed been looking at a lot of video game cover art, too. I’m looking at the cover of Fantasy World Dizzy right now, in fact. This timeless piece of artwork shows an egg in boxing gloves, wearing a safari hat and holding a telescope, while dragons and dinosaurs loom threateningly in the background. It’s a completely normal cover for a completely normal game, and it’s just the tip of the box art iceberg. From Wipeout to Alan Wake to Gravity Rush to Double Dragon, there’s a huge variety of great cover art out there, and I’m going to put on my world-renowned art critic shoes and talk about some now.

I’m also going to highlight a few that I really dislike. Then I’ll probably get called out on it and feel bad about it, but that’s just the kind of thing that us world-renowned art critics have to deal with every day. Let’s just look at some covers, shall we?

GOOD – Deus Ex

The box art of Deus Ex pleases me. There are a few aspects that come together to give an unmistakable dystopian, cyberpunk feel, but it’s that ambiguous beam of light that really peaks my interest. Has JC Denton been picked out by a spotlight? Or is he ascending into some higher state of cybernetically-enhanced existence? The grid and stream of numbers overlaying the sky could be a representation of the all-encompassing grasp of technology, or could hint that this whole world is a simulation. Either way, with its black helicopter, bleak cityscape, shades-at-night-time vibe, this box art has all the ingredients needed to get you into the conspiracy mindset. Corporate subterfuge, government cover-ups and dehumanising body modification are surely just around the corner.

GOOD – Sonic & Knuckles

Before Sonic’s video game world was filled with superfluous bats, cats, bees, and miscellaneous additional residuary hedgehogs, a new character was a big deal that people looked forward to. Tails’ introduction in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was a serious event, as was Sonic the Hedgehog 3’s unveiling of the mysterious, antagonistic echidna, Knuckles. When Sonic & Knuckles hit the shelves, and people knew that they were finally going to be able to play as the prickly, pink anti-hero, this minimal box art did all it needed to do. An elegant logo on a black background, depicting Sonic and his new frenemy. It’s simple, it’s pretty, and it works. This is graphic design, people. I’m surprised I never see it on hoodies.

BAD – Days Gone

Days Gone has a stupid box art. This thing was designed by a committee, or some kind of cover-designing computer program. The “cover-o-matic”, if you will. Someone typed “zombie horde, brooding protagonist, 42% Sons of Anarchy, 58% The Walking Dead” into the algorithm and this is what came out. No one noticed that the computer didn’t understand that the lead wouldn’t be sitting and brooding handsomely next to his bike while a horde of infected looms only a few metres away. It’s a dumb and meaningless cover that just ticks all the triple-A, cinematic, gritty Netflix series-inspired boxes of its era. Don’t blame the cover-o-matic, though. It just does what it’s told.

BAD – Eternal Ring

Look, I don’t want to knock a developing artist, but I also think that a certain level of refinement should be required when producing the cover art for an officially-released video game. Eternal Ring is FromSoftware’s original ring-based action RPG that a lot of people don’t know about, and honestly, I don’t think I’d know anything about it either if its cover art hadn’t stuck with me for all the wrong reasons. There’s nothing wrong with the image choice of a guy contemplating a ring for a game that presumably features a ring that’s worth contemplating, but why the hell wasn’t I producing covers for worldwide video game releases in the year 2000? I possessed a similar level of anatomical drawing understanding, and I’m pretty sure I was better at hands.

GOOD – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (NA Cover)

Historically, the Zelda franchise has gone for a prominent logo on a plain or minimal background for its box art, and I’ve seen folks online identifying these as both the best and worst things ever. I like them, but I like this one more. The logo is right there, looking lovely as ever, but it’s backed up by an image that embodies impending adventure. Link, wearing a brand new, blue tunic, stands on a rocky outcrop like someone’s expertly-painted Warhammer miniature, and a world of opportunity awaits before him. This cover represents an exciting new era for one of the world’s premier video game franchises, and invites you along for the ride.

BAD – Planescape: Torment

I love Planescape: Torment. I do. It’s got the greatest story ever told in gaming and I’ll die on that hill all day. Not many people experienced said yarn, however, and while its status as a cult classic PC RPG that sits in the shadow of the likes of Baldur’s Gate and Fallout 2 definitely had something to do with this, this super-weird front cover surely contributed to its obscurity. I mean, what were players supposed to expect when they laid eyes on it? It looks like an alien from a voodoo magic-inspired episode of some obscure, ’90s sci-fi, which I guess would have its charm if that’s the kind of vibe Planescape: Torment was going for, but it really isn’t. The ’90s sci-fi makeup job, the blue scaling, the picked-out gold on the dreadlock beads, it’s all so weird and off-putting. Great game, though. Honestly.

GOOD – The NewZealand Story

My pick of the bunch when it comes to cutesy platformer box art is the adorable and mysterious The NewZealand Story. Let’s have a look at some of the characters arrayed on this cover, shall we? You’ve got Tiki the kiwi himself, looking adorably heroic in his trainers, then there’s a whole host of critters standing in opposition. There’s a thing in a floating UFO tank, there’s a kind of sinister-looking, fire-breathing tortoise, there’s a cat-like creature with bat wings, and there’s an absolutely beautiful little bat-mouse thing in the bottom corner, standing there looking like some kind of proto-Gengar. It’s a cuddly yet action-packed composition, and thankfully, that creepy, pink whale boss is nowhere to be seen.

GOOD – Streets of Rage

I love a side-scrolling beat-’em-up, and the genre has provided some epic cover art over the years, from the various ports of 1986’s Renegade, right up to the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge. The original Streets of Rage has to be the pinnacle, though. A perfect example of ’90s action movie-style, illustrated box art, this expertly-composed picture has it all. It’s not entirely representational of the game, though. I don’t know why Blaze and Axel have changed their outfits, and no bad guys carry Uzis, wear hockey masks, snipe from windows or emerge from beneath sewer covers (not until the second game, anyway), but who cares when the image is so awesome? I own a cushion with this artwork on it. No word of a lie. I’m leaning on it now, in fact.

BAD – The Last of Us Part II

Sony’s big exclusives really do run the gamut of cover quality. Horizon Zero Dawn is great, God of War is alright, Days Gone can get in the bin, and then you have this. “Close up of grumpy face”. I don’t know what else to say, really, it’s just another meaningless cover that ticks market research boxes but in an even less interesting way. I totally get it, The Last of Us Part II cover designer, your game is gritty and violent and harsh. It’s basically misery porn and I understand that some people like that, but I really don’t want “close up of grumpy face” on my gaming shelf. Take your blood-soaked, angry teenagers and ludonarrative dissonance elsewhere, please. Can I look at something else now?

GOOD – Cisco Heat

Now, this is more like it! I used to pick up Commodore 64 magazines when I was younger, and I always loved seeing the cover art and advertisements for Cisco Heat in said periodicals. It embodies my childhood idea of what America was like; sun and skyscrapers and cool police chases. When I look at this image, I think of summer, I think of rolling my Micro Machines around my bedroom floor, I think of watching Police Academy on video. Look at that subtitle – “All American Police Car Race”. That’s the stuff that my young, Beverly Hills Cop-inspired dreams were made of. And yes, I do also like the photo of the cop leaning on the cop car arcade machine. Who wouldn’t like that? Criminals, that’s who.

GOOD – Halo 3

You could say, if you were so inclined, that the Halo 3 cover represents everything that’s wrong with big budget game covers from its era and beyond. It’s just the main character kind of standing there with a gun, it’s got that whole orange and teal, generic movie poster thing going on, but none of that matters, this is a masterpiece. Every subtle nuance combines to form a piece of box art that’s so inspiring it should be made into a 100 foot stained glass window and installed into a magnificent cathedral so that the morning sun can shine through it, reminding us of the trials and sacrifices of our saviour, Master Chief. The light, the shadows, the perfectly-poised, pre-action pose. This cover isn’t just epic, it’s transcendent. It depicts the precise moment that the ultimate hero of mankind steps into the light, ready to save us all.

GOOD – Secret of Mana

Hiro Isono was an incredible artist. His illustrations of otherworldly groves and mystical glades capture the complexity and detail of nature as well as its mysterious, sweeping majesty. When the lads at SquareSoft hit him up for a bit of cover art back in the early ’90s, it was an inspired move. After all, the driving force behind the lore of Secret of Mana is a giant, magical tree, and Isono is giant, magical trees. The result is a beautiful, somehow eerie, contemplative piece of art that details an event later in the game in a way that doesn’t spoil the story. It has the three leads, it has the roots of an enormous tree, it has some cool birds, and it’s so much more affecting than a picture of the protagonist posing with a sword (or an extreme close up of their grumpy face). The PS4 remake has more room on the cover to feature more of the illustration, so I should probably have displayed that one, but the SNES box presses all my nostalgia buttons. It’s my favourite box art, and I can’t see it being uprooted any time soon.

RimWorld – Impressions

The Harrowing Trials and Tribulations of the Potato People

I held off on playing RimWorld for years after it first started showing up in my Steam discovery queue and my suggested YouTube videos. In terms of gameplay and premise, it was right up my street, but the visuals always turned me off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some shallow ingrate concerned only with aesthetics, but a large part of the appeal of sim games for me is the visual interest of watching your settlement, theme park, zoo or other grow, and viewing the interactions of the denizens within. I can while away hours watching a junction in Cities: Skylines, for example, just observing as the traffic builds up, then filters through, then builds up, then filters through. Edit a junction or change a stretch of road, watch how it changes the flow. Watch the traffic build up, then filter through. I have a full and productive life.

Anyway, it was the hilariously and informatively presented videos of a YouTuber called ambiguousamphibian that finally caused me to take the plunge. 30 hours of gameplay later, here are my initial thoughts.

I really don’t like the visuals. Nothing has legs or arms, and everyone looks like a little potato person. Sometimes a colonist will have interesting hair, giving them some visual character, but then they’ll immediately put a hat on so that they look like a little potato man again. When they get shot or stabbed or scratched by cougars, cuts and slashes appear on them, giving the disturbing impression that they’re potatoes that bleed. I understand that the graphics are representative, and that rendering arms and legs would be quite an undertaking considering your colonists can and will lose limbs and then replace them with bionic implants, but I find it difficult to get attached to the little potato people, probably more so than if they were represented by icons or text.

If you can’t make out the text there, it’s saying that Cauchois’ brain is a mangled scar thanks to a shot from a revolver. This has … slowed her down somewhat. She used to be my finest builder.

The environment textures are very lacking as well. I immediately downloaded a mod that sharpens up the textures but you’re still going to be looking at basic, bare minimum visuals for the entirety. It’s fine, it is what it is, I wish there was a more appealing visual solution for a million-selling game, but I signed up for the addictive progression-based gameplay, the situations that can arise, and the stories that can play out.

RimWorld nails all of that stuff, especially if you’re brave and play on the harder difficulties. It’s the sort of game that generates water cooler talk. If you’re lucky enough to have a pal who also plays the game, you’ll be regaling each other with tales of tribal raids, cold snaps, giant insect infestations and killer guinea pig attacks for months to come.

A few years back, my wife and I used to play The Sims 3 a lot. We had completely different play-styles. She would create the perfect Sim, take total control of their lives, get them to work every morning, and try to make them as happy and fulfilled as possible (that’s if she ever got past meticulously creating said Sim’s perfect abode with the infinite money cheat). I would create a household of three or four, give them a mixture of good and bad traits, give the AI the maximum amount of control and just let events unfold, only intervening if I absolutely needed to.

There was another guy in this colony called Hella, but he died when a cougar bit off his arm. Said cougar ended up as lunch for the other colonists. It’s a harsh world sometimes.

RimWorld really rewards players who are somewhere in between the two. You’ll have to be in control to ensure your colonists survive the raids, harsh winters and other such dangerous occurrences the computer will throw at you, but rolling with the game’s mischievous tendencies to throw seemingly insurmountable odds at you is essential to really experiencing what RimWorld has to offer. It’s a story creator, and sometimes said stories may be tragic or hopeless, but they’re always fascinating. If you’re the type of player who would quit and reload if your favourite colonist got his arm ripped off by a passing warg, then this game isn’t for you. You’ve got to accept the rough as well as the smooth to get the ultimate RimWorld experience, and you’ll probably need lots of time to spare, too.

At only thirty hours and three colonies deep, I don’t really feel qualified to review RimWorld. I’ve not come anywhere near the endgame, and have barely scratched the surface of what this indie gem has to offer. However, I can say some things for certain already; this game is meticulously crafted, addictive, near-limitless in breadth, often melancholic in tone, and chock full of little potato people. It’s definitely got a-peel.