The Simpsons: Tapped Out

A Long-time Mild Addiction Finally Taps Out

Yesterday, September 26th 2024, the team behind The Simpsons: Tapped Out mobile game made the surprise announcement that they were pulling the plug on it after 12 years. Online purchases were turned off immediately, the game will be removed from app stores at the end of October, and it will no longer be accessible from January 24th 2025.

I’ve been playing The Simpsons: Tapped Out on and off since 2013. I’m usually not very good with dates, but I remember this because my wife was pregnant when I first got into it. I don’t remember how I was made aware of it, but I do remember owning a Windows phone at the time, and so having to borrow my wife’s Samsung to play. The Simpsons: Tapped Out was one of the main reasons I transitioned to Android phones, so I’ve got that to thank it for at least.

During those early days, I was something of a local ambassador for the game, and got lots of people addicted to it. This included my wife, my sister, many of my work colleagues and various friends and other acquaintances. Many of these people became dangerously addicted, spending real money on the game, or getting involved in online groups who would hack it somehow, giving access to all of the premium characters and items.

I’ve never been much for “freemium” gaming, and like to pride myself on being very resistant to the dirty little ways they keep you playing, but The Simpsons: Tapped Out was the sole exception to this, and a big part of this is certainly how comfortable I find the Simpsons world. This is due to the show, but also to the love I have for The Simpsons: Hit & Run, probably my favourite game based on a TV or movie franchise ever. Yes, that does include GoldenEye 007.

I still never spent a penny of real money on it. Any premium items I owned were either purchased with the trickle of Donuts (the game’s premium currency) that are earned naturally by playing, or by using Google Play Store credit I’d earned by doing surveys (the only other thing I ever purchase with this credit nowadays is the odd AEW pay-per-view on FITE).

I enjoyed making my little version of Springfield, engaging in the events, and watching the little character animations. I played The Simpsons: Tapped Out during boring shifts, while staying overnight in hospitals, and in queues at Disney World. It wasn’t always good, sometimes the events were kind of lame, the dialogue could go on and on at times, and the buildings had a real scale problem. Certain buildings, like the Duff Arena or Springfield General Hospital, were far too small and dwarfed by other buildings that should have been a fraction of the size. Stuff like that really bugs me but overall the game was good, and felt very authentic to the Simpsons universe.

With the advent of this final announcement, the developers offered a final quest-line, threw a load of premium buildings at players, and handed over 1000+ Donuts for absolutely nothing, so that Springfield enthusiasts could make their final, perfect town before the whole thing gets erased. Alas, at the time of writing, a glitch appears to be causing those 1000+ Donuts to disappear (including mine), but it was a nice thought.

Through the dialogue of the Simpsons family members, the developers said goodbye and thank you to players, and a comment was made about them never being credited, despite it being in their contracts that they would be. This made me realise for possibly the first time that there are indeed real, talented, passionate people behind even freemium trash, and The Simpsons: Tapped Out was always very open about its addictive game loop and capitalistic ways. No one is forced to spend money on these things, after all.

I would like to spruce up my Springfield for a final, big photo (the game allows you to download an image of your town and save it to your device) but I don’t know if I’ll bother. I have a large corner of town with miscellaneous buildings that I didn’t immediately have a place for just scattered aimlessly, and sorting it all out would be a big job that I probably shouldn’t make time for. What’s the point, if the whole thing is tragically fleeting?

Well, that’s a philosophical quandary I don’t want to get into. Instead, I’ll just say farewell to The Simpsons: Tapped Out via an article on my little web site that no one will read. I’ll miss it, but it’ll also be nice to not have to worry about logging on four times a day during those events. I’ll just have to play The Simpsons: Hit & Run when I want my digital Springfield fix.

Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn

Blue Shadow (And a Pink One Too)

A modern remake of a “Nintendo hard” NES game that I’d never even heard of? No, it’s okay, I’ll leave it, thanks. What’s that? It’s got gorgeous, pixelated sci-fi cityscape backgrounds and super cool modern re-imaginings of ’90s ninjas and robotic enemies? Alright, you twisted my arm.

Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn, developed by Tengo Project, is a modern remake of the NES title Shadow of the Ninja, known as Blue Shadow here in Europe. It features two ninjas of the Iga clan, Hayate and Kaede, as they navigate six distinct stages in a direct attempt on the life of the evil Emperor Garuda, whose forces have taken over the United States of America.

There’s a bit of Contra in there, a sprinkling of The Ninja Warriors, and perhaps a slight bouquet of Metal Slug.

This re-imagining updates the visuals in bombastic style, with chunky sprites filled with personality, a grimy tech aesthetic juxtaposed with neon lights and splashed with delightfully garish, luminous colours, and fluid animation bringing bosses and set-pieces to life.

It’s a gorgeous-looking game, but you won’t have much time to take in the sights, as beyond a couple of basic grunt-type enemies, most of the mechs, monsters and mooks you’ll face are perfectly equipped to catch out sightseers and careless wanderers. Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn is challenging, and I can see how the original might have been a very tough nut to crack. This remake allows players to continue indefinitely from the last stage reached, but most areas still took me a lot of tries to get through, and the bosses take the difficulty up another few notches, forcing the recognition and memorisation of some devious attack patterns.

Both Hayate and Kaede control exactly the same, and can attack, crouch, jump, and attach themselves to walls and ceilings, flipping up onto higher platforms if the terrain allows. They both start off with a katana (that can be powered up to launch projectiles) and a kusarigama, which is basically a blade on a chain. The kusarigama packs a punch and can attack at range, but it’s longer attack animation will leave its wielder vulnerable and, unlike the katana, it cannot deflect enemy projectiles. As the game progresses, it becomes necessary to fully understand the strengths and limitations of each weapon to succeed, and knowing which attack to use and when so as not to leave yourself vulnerable to counter-attack is they key to success.

The heads fly off of these cute little laser horses when they take damage, resulting in a flying head drone and some charging, disembodied legs to deal with.

Successful players will also have to master jumping, as Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn features a few fiddly jumps here and there. The jump button has a slight delay, and this has led me to more than a few health-sapping plummets into nothingness. Luckily, falling off the screen isn’t an instant death, but the jumping is the most unsatisfying part of the game for me, and I feel like it could have been a lot smoother. The ninjas also have the ability to momentarily hover, and this is activated by pressing down and holding the jump button, which was a little too fiddly for an old and decrepit gamer like me at first. It all clicks into place eventually, but not before more than a few frustratingly missed ledges.

The “ninja gear” mechanic adds another element to the game. Throughout each stage crates will regularly hide limited-use weapons – including firebombs, larger swords, and even guns – that can be kept in a limited inventory and brought into action when they’re needed. There is a system where players can purchase unlocked items of gear to start the game with, which is definitely helpful in certain situations, but this starting gear is lost upon death, so if you’re having trouble with, say, the fourth stage boss, and purchased some gear you thought might help you with it, you better hope you get there without continuing.

If you repeatedly die on a certain stage, Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn will start to take pity on you, packing extra health-restoring goodies in your inventory like a proud ninja mum. I have no shame in admitting that I made use of these pity dumplings on numerous occasions. I did find myself getting better at the game, however, and was breezing through the formerly-difficult early stages upon a second play-through. The later areas could still be a bitch, though.

There’s also a two-player co-op mode, which I imagine is great, but I haven’t talked the daughter into trying that out with me yet.

This boss was really tough until I realised I could bash it in the head with a sword. It … wasn’t clear at first, okay?

Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn is a great retro platformer-action game with fantastic visuals and satisfying combat, that’s let down slightly by some occasionally fiddly jumping. It’s a stern test of reflexes, pattern memorisation, and patience, but if you think you’ve got the ninja skills, then I’d highly recommend taking a trip through this extremely dangerous neon metropolis.

Played on Switch

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth – Game Diary

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth is a Metroidvania game developed by Team Ladybug and released in 2021 across multiple formats. I picked up a physical copy of the game for the Switch because I thought it looked cool and also because I own a copy of the Dreamcast RPG, Record of Lodoss War

The following is a spoiler-filled account of my time with the game, with some opinions and observations sprinkled throughout.

Session 1 – Tuesday 17th September

After a short break following knocking Visions of Mana on the head, it was time to play something a bit different. Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth was sitting on my shelf, and I fancied a Metroidvania. I’ve never watched the anime, I’ve never read the book, and I’ve played Record of Lodoss War on the Dreamcast but barely remember anything about it. I’m also quite inexperienced with Metroidvanias (I’ve finished Metroid Dread and that Shadow Complex game on Xbox 360 and that’s about it) so this will definitely go well. Let’s go!

Right, the whole thing has a nice pixel art style (even the title screen and the developer logos) and I was treated to a minimal intro explaining that Deedlit and a group of heroes once saved the island of Lodoss, and Deedlit fell in love with one of them. She woke up in a stone circle not knowing what was going on, and control was handed over to me. Six pages of tutorial text later and it was time to adventure.

A few first impressions; the game looks very pretty, Deedlit is really nicely animated, and the music is pretty cool. The controls seem precise, and the directional attacks are fun to pull off. The game started in the aforementioned stone circle, and Deedlit and I thought we’d be traditional and headed off to the right.

Our first enemy was an imp, which we stabbed with our sword, and it dropped a spear. Deedlit equipped the spear and we moved on. There are barriers and locked doors in the next few areas that we’ll have to come back to, and enemies respawn when you go back into a previously cleared area. There’s a dice theme going on, with enemies having a pair of die displayed under their health bar, but I don’t really get it. I should have read those tutorials.

We soon found Sylphid … I mean Sylph (still thinking about Visions of Mana), which is a wind spirit that gives Deedlit wind moves and allows her to hover. We then found a statue of Marfa, who is a goddess, apparently, and this allowed us to save and regain health. That was all the Metroidvania basics covered, now it was time to go and hover somewhere.

We passed by the stone circle again and Deedlit saw someone called Parn, and then a sorceress-looking woman appeared (whose name I didn’t catch) and asked for Deedlit’s loyalty. Deedlit refused and the sorceress said something about “trials”, and mentioned that another lost soul is coming and that it will be interesting to see who gets their wish first. A while after this, there was a small underwater area, and it became clear that Deedlit cannot hold her breath for long at all.

We found a fire spirit next (called Salamander, not Salamando) and now Deedlit can swap between fire and wind modes. There’s a mechanic where you can fill up your fire and wind spirit gauges if you don’t get hit. The more full each gauge is the more damage that element of attack will do, and if one or both are completely full, it’s possible to gradually regain health. You can also absorb attacks of the same element.

Moving on, we found a place with a big, hanging, half-eaten dragon flank and hitting it caused quite a bit of slowdown (and filled the spirit gauge). We found a bow next, and Deedlit seemed to be getting kitted out pretty early. We found some spirit magic pretty soon after this, and could use some magic points to shoot a load of balls of light at enemies. Handy.

We bumped into someone called Slayn (this was, like the sorceress earlier, preceded by a kind of video glitch effect). Slayn was all vague and then he ran off. Deedlit seems to know these people but they clearly aren’t being themselves. Poor Deedlit, she must feel very isolated. She met someone called Ghim next, and he was acting weird and evasive too, but appears to be the game’s merchant. We couldn’t afford anything from him that looked good, so we moved on.

After a bit more Metroidvania-style progress, we encountered a large, snake-like dragon called Abram the Blue. Again, Deedlit seemed to recognise the dragon and tried to converse but he was hell-bent on throwing down, so we obliged. We took him out first time, and Deedlit got a Soul Crystal Ball, but we don’t know what it’s for yet.

We soon found a snake statue that granted Deedlit the ability to slide, which enabled us to explore another area through a low gap. We met a Dark Elf girl called Pirotess (Deedlit called her this but she didn’t like being identified as such). She killed us. She was quick and tough, repeatedly leaping and throwing knives. We then fell to her a second time, and I was realising that I probably needed to stop taking this game lightly now. We got her the third time. She wasn’t dead, though, and she nicked our soul orb thing before she legged it, which was very rude.

Progressing to the next area after this fight led us to “Stage 2”, which had a different vibe and a background theme that kind of looked like the inside of a great hall that’s seen better days. I felt like we’d missed stuff, so we backtracked for a bit, but the only unexplored areas I could find seemed to still need other items or keys to get to. We went back to the Stage 2 area and got killed very quickly by some nasty bird-type enemies. Things were getting real in Stage 2, it seemed. Axe-throwing kobolds, goblin archers, and big, angry birds were absolutely everywhere.

We got the video glitch again (which I now realised flashes up a large eyeball thing) and Deedlit met someone called Woodchuck. This guy seems to offer a gambling mini-game. I’m good, thanks. This last bit of progress marked the end of Session 1, and the now-traditional wall of words this entails. I’ll try to keep the entries shorter, but I can’t promise anything.

Session 2 – Tuesday 17th September

I was excited to get going again with session two, and Deedlit immediately fell into some spikes and died. We will not be discouraged! She then died in spikes again because I pressed the wrong button, and then she died again moments later because I got knocked into spikes by a giant centipede enemy, and I decided that I’m going to stop keeping count of her deaths at this point. The Stage 2 area can very appropriately be called a difficulty spike.

After some cool sections where Deedlit needed to bend her arrow shots using magnets, we encountered a boss fight in the form of a couple of Djinn type creatures, one wind-based and one fire-based, and the fight required Deedlit to use her element-swapping powers to avoid and dish out damage. We beat these guys first try, acquired the double-jump, and encountered a character called Etoh. She too, is vague and unhelpful.

After a bit more exploring the game crashed on me while trying to use one of the fast-travel points. Luckily, everything was fine when I reloaded, and I’d saved moments before.

Upon reloading, Deedlit and I made some really good progress, exploring past some green doors (because hitting one green switch seemed to open all of them) and finding a better melee weapon, but then got absolutely shafted upon returning to one of the larger rooms by a combination of charging skeletons, pixies, kobolds and spikes. We lost a lot of progress, but that’s Metroidvanias for you.

We found a power-up for the wind spirit attacks next, and then did a bit of double-jump led backtracking and found a room with four intimidating dog statues. There wasn’t really anything here and the dog statues didn’t come to life. Maybe next time. Some more backtracking saw us find a power-up for the fire spirit attacks. It’s nice to feel powered up.

We stepped into another obvious boss area (they’re marked by a green haze leading into them) after exploring most of Stage 2, and the sorceress (who Deedlit called Karla) returned. She said some stuff and then we had to fight a gigantic red dragon called Shooting Star. That’s a very cute name, but it was a very tough fight, with a green poison attack and a green orb-firing attack proving especially hard to dodge. This took three or four tries, but we got it in the end, and were led into Stage 3. This is another outside area with a misty wood in the background. I liked it. It was filled with plant-type enemies and we also spotted some harpies and zombies.

We found an appropriately sneakily hidden invisibility spell and scouted out a save point, and it was time to end the session. I had to go and get some pizzas for me and the youth because, sometimes, pizza is all you need.

Session 3 – Tuesday 17th September

At the start of this session, a ghostly man turned into a key. It was the soul of a thief, apparently, and it is supposed to open a locked door. Not the one right in front of it, though. A little further on Deedlit and I found an MP boost behind a cracked wall, and we realised we’re going to have to really keep our eyes peeled for those secrets.

We found a boomerang weapon and it’s got great damage and great range. How are we going to ever go back to a regular old sword now? Incidentally, it’s worth pointing out here that even though I’ve never played any of the Metroidvania style Castlevania games (I’ve only played Castlevania: Lords of Shadow and its sequel), Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth definitely leans more towards the “Vania” half of the Metroidvania genre. Deedlit even leaves those shadowy echoes of herself as she moves around, just like the effect in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.

Deedlit and I found a long, nicely furnished hallway area filled with zombies and demons, all of whom were easily slain with our new boomerang. We also met a new enemy called the Lesser Dragon, and this is clearly the creature that’s been slaughtered and hung to make the meat that we keep finding around the place. They’re annoying so I don’t feel bad for them.

At the end of that hallway we found the switch that opened the yellow doors, making a fair amount of new areas accessible. We checked a suspiciously blank area on the map and found a water spell that causes a cascade of water. We also encountered a creepy, shadowy enemy called a Shadow Stalker, that only becomes corporeal when Deedlit is looking away. Lobbing boomerangs and then looking away before they come back catches these shadowy fellows out, but I’m not sure how we would’ve dealt with them if we didn’t have the boomerang.

We fought some Medusa enemies with bows, who kept turning Deedlit to stone and then shooting her with arrows, and then we found another ghostly figure who gave us a key. This one was a craftsman. Deedlit then overheard Karla and Pirotess talking about reviving Ashram. I don’t know who Ashram is, but he or she sounds like bad news. Pirotess swore loyalty to Karla and Karla gave her a magic sword. We found King Kashue next. Deedlit seemed to recognise him but the familiarity was not mutual. I think he’s probably nuts (because Kashue sounds like cashew … never mind). He was as vague as everyone else and mentioned an archery training range just past him. We tried it and got an F.

Next we found a ghostly sorcerer with a key, and I wondered at this point if these are Deedlit’s pals as this guy looks familiar. A big hexagon shape in the floor had a message saying we don’t have enough keys, though. A little later, we encountered some bug-looking enemies that made the area around them dark until we smashed them. Then we found a ghostly priest with a key, and I’m pretty sure it was Etoh, so I definitely think these guys are Deedlit’s pals.

There was a fight against Karla herself next. Somehow, we got her first try, but then she transported us to a void and made us fight a female, Templar-looking warrior called Flaus. This chick killed us twice, but we got her the third time. There was no explanation after this battle as to who she was or what she had to do with Karla. We got a knight key off of a knight apparition afterwards, and this meant we could activate the hexagon. As we did so, we received an ominous message about descending into the abyss. Alright, calm down, Nietzsche.

There was another boss fight pretty soon after this, and it was Karla again followed by a horned, winged female with armour called the Demon God who summoned wolves that were seemingly made of blood. We managed to survive both of these fights on our first try, and Karla said some more vague nonsense before fleeing.

The next area is identified as Stage 4, and it has a sandy ruins feel and there is rock music playing! We found a spell called Wind Storm, and on the way to picking up this spell we were forced to fight Goblin Shamans and Valkyries. What an odd combination. Why are they teaming up against us, eh?

In a random cavern a little while later Pirotess seemingly killed Parn and Deedlit vows revenge. I wonder if Parn is the guy you play as in Record of Lodoss War on the Dreamcast.

The difficulty has really spiked again here in Stage 4, with Minotaurs, death scorpions, soul-firing mummies and flying lizard everywhere, often placed in really annoying and awkward locations. I was planning to finish up soon, but we did manage to find the underwater breathing item, and quickly nipped back to a previous area of the map using the fast travel doors to find a shadowy magic spell beyond a waterlogged section I’d noticed long ago.

That small, crocodile-killing victory was enough for the night, and the third and final session of the day came to an end.

Session 4 – Wednesday 18th September

I started up this session forgetting that Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth had actually gotten really difficult lately. Just seeing the sandy brick décor of the ruins I loaded into reminded me, though.

We went straight into a boss fight, just to compound this feeling, and this one was with a huge black dragon called Narse. In the brief exchange before the fight, it was clear that Deedlit recognised this guy, too, but she didn’t seem to expect to be friends with him, like the other dragons. Some things the dragon said possibly implied that Deedlit is stuck within her own mind. Is this whole labyrinth a metaphor?

Narse was a pain in the arse. It took many deaths before Deedlit and I finally slew him. We knew what we needed to do, it was just easier said than done to do it. Narse had a really annoying attack where he’d create alternating screen-high walls of fire and wind power and zap Deedlit with pink lasers, and it was really giving us trouble. We were gradually getting the hang of avoiding it each time, but when we actually beat the dragon we managed to pile on enough damage to drain his health bar before he entered that phase.

Beyond Narse was the button that opened the red doors. We went through a nearby red door and found some new rooms, and we spotted Pirotess in a save room. I found my self using a tactic I’d used before here, where I’d been taking advantage of the quick room transitions and respawning enemies to farm spirit gauge. It’s viable but it can slow the pace a bit.

We quickly came to another boss fight, and sure enough, it was Pirotess again. It was another tough one, Deedlit fell many times, but we got her in the end. I like the bosses in this game. They really start to ramp up in difficulty after Stage 1, but if you get killed, you always feel like you can beat them if you try again. It’s easy to retry thinking “next time I just need to do this differently” and eventually, something will work and you’ll achieve victory. It’s good, and I’ll maintain this opinion until I get to something I can’t beat later.

Some story developments occurred after this battle, as Pirotess seemed to use her life force to resurrect Ashram. The camera cut to a spooky throne somewhere that looked like it had the opening area’s background, and a scary, warrior-king-looking fellow appeared on it. Ashram, I presume? After this, Deedlit woke up in what might have been her house with all of her items and abilities (save the rapier that she started the game with) missing. There was a sword in a nearby cabinet called “Heritage” that Deedlit could pick up and equip, but upon slashing it she’d go through a very long animation of trying to heave it back up. Symbolism? I don’t know enough about Deedlit’s lore to be sure.

There were enemies outside the house called Lifeless Kings that looked like reapers crossed with sorcerers. Deedlit could only do scratch damage to them, so we decided to run past them, although this was easier said than done as the last one was very annoyingly positioned. Deedlit’s pals were beyond this area, but they looked all desaturated and faceless. They would turn around whenever Deedlit walked past them, implying that she couldn’t look at their faces. Standing next to them made them disappear, and then Deedlit woke up in the boss arena again.

Moving on took us to Stage 5 (every time there’s a new stage a six-sided die is used to show the stage’s number, so I’m assuming there will be six total) and it has a grand mansion vibe with spooky green flames in the fireplaces and on the candlesticks. Sometimes this game really reminds me of Rogue Legacy, visually at least. That’s a Roguelike, not a Metroidvania, though. The first enemy we encountered here was a large griffon, but we didn’t get far before I had to save and quit. Other responsibilities were calling.

Session 5 – Wednesday 18th September

I had a late session tonight accompanied by some chocolate digestives. Deliciously sustained, Deedlit and I dove into the new Stage 5 area. New enemies types found here included; claw beasts (pale lions that never landed a hit on us once), earth magic-flinging gnomes, and giant spiders who skittered around rather creepily on the back walls. Incidentally, I found that Deedlit could now handle the aforementioned “heritage” sword with ease, but only because we’d found a better sword, as well as a handy homing bow.

I had another game-closing crash following fast travel after this. Like last time, a reload solved it and I’d saved moments before. Annoying but not game breaking.

A little more progress resulted in us finding another boss room and a bit more video tape fuzz. This time we were greeted by a cloaked, armoured guy who introduced himself as Beld. Again, Deedlit seemed to recognise him, but she called him Emperor Beld. He didn’t know anything about being an emperor, but he liked the idea, and a fight ensued. We beat him first time. I wasn’t expecting that this late into the game.

He caused a cave-in upon defeat, and Deedlit was unable to backtrack. In the next area we encountered a creepy, wooden soldier that repeatedly reanimated itself after we slew it. At first I thought it was scary, but then I realised it was a walking spirit gauge farm. After fighting this thing for a while we found the super flying double-jump item in order to gain even more height.

Following a spider and dryad infested climb Deedlit encountered Pirotess again. I thought she was a goner! She recited some more dialogue that hints at the “this whole thing is a dream” theory, and also hinted that Parn isn’t actually dead. Not that I thought he was. A very fiddly spike-filled room followed this, featuring elevators that we needed to operate by firing arrows at cog wheels, but once we got through those we found ourselves back around the area where we couldn’t backtrack due to Beld’s antics, and Deedlit and I did some exploring with the new extra jump height. We located a firestorm spell and a dryad spell.

Getting back on track, we quickly found another boss room, and Ashram was sitting on his throne in the background (although I could have sworn this wasn’t the room he appeared in during the cutscene). He stepped down and we fought, man to elf, and he had similar moves to Beld but was much tougher. We got him the third time with liberal use of the dryad spell, but he then puked green stuff and turned into a strange, green-coloured jade golem-looking thing. Deedlit was killed very quickly.

This second fight was even tougher, and every time we died we had to fight the first phase again. Luckily, we’d gotten the hang of the first fight, and handled it pretty well almost every time, but it still took us a lot of tries to get that second phase. This was a fucking tough fight. Once we finished him off, Pirotess reappeared and told Deedlit that she loved Ashram, before fading away. Looks like Deedlit and Pirotess were two sides of the same coin.

Parn appeared not long after this and led us to the purple door switch and a nice new bow. It was a dead end, though, and he’d disappeared, so definitely that whole dream theory is getting more and more likely.

I could’ve kept going, but I’d spent a lot of time on those boss fights, so it was time for bed.

Session 6 – Thursday 19th September

The die rolled six, and Deedlit and I entered Stage 6 to start this session. This next area had a semi-creepy, dark temple feel mixed with an almost technological vibe evoked by green, cuboid lights and dark stone patterned with straight lines. Weirdly, it reminded me of the alien base in Subnautica. There was also some cool, synthy music here.

There were lots of scary monsters for Deedlit to plough through; colour-changing dragon things, huge basilisks, nearly invisible dudes, and the return of the lifeless kings. This area was more of a simple monster rush than a maze. We got through it, and found the switch for the light blue doors. I noticed that there were no fast travel doors in this area so far. We still did a bit of old-fashioned backtracking and managed a very fiddly jump through different-coloured forcefields to get a not-all-that-great bow, though.

Back to the task at hand, and we met Karla again in another boss area. This time, she kicked off a boss rush! Abram, the two djinns, Shooting Star, Karla herself, Flaus (the Templar-looking woman), Demon God (the winged woman), Narse, Pirotess, and that’s as far as we got the first time. We went again, and got a bit further. Beld and then Ashram followed Pirotess, but Deedlit was killed again because I pressed the wrong button when trying to drink a potion while fighting Ashram.

We were stuck here for a while. Annoyingly, despite beating him easily when we met him earlier, and getting past him the first time we met him in this boss rush, too, Beld was proving to be the roadblock with his variety and combination of attacks. Luckily, one of Ghim’s shops was nearby, and we blew our Lodoss bucks on a load of HP and MP potions. It was the first time we’d held more than one potion.

It didn’t happen straight away, but soon we defeated Beld and Ashram, and the last fight in this hectic rush was gooey green Ashram, who we took down without issue. That whole boss rush felt pretty awesome.

The next room finally had a fast travel door (not that we used it – I was satisfied I’d found everything I was going to) and then beyond that was a section with extra-strange architecture and some trippy music. Deedlit experienced some haunting encounters with her pals in this area, all of whom said something strange, and a mysterious voice was speaking about Deedlit choosing to stay in this world. This whole area was like a spiral, and there were no monsters.

It looked like the final boss was going to be in the centre of this spiral, but we bumped into Parn first. Deedlit remembered at this point that Parn lost his life years ago. Wow. I could’ve done with that information. If I was a Lodoss enthusiast, would I have known that Parn had been dead for years? Whatever this version of Parn was, we had to fight it, and throughout the fight it took on the forms of all of Deedlit’s pals. It was a pretty easy encounter, though, and we were victorious first time.

The background changed at this point, and a huge, creepy, greenish statue (of Parn, I assume) raised up. Deedlit rejected it and it fell, and a huge eyeball creature emerged. It was the creature from the title screen and the one that briefly appeared in the video glitches. The energy bar called it Nihil.

This was another somewhat easy fight. While it did have some potent attacks that were hard to dodge, it was very easy to keep pummelling it with the water or light magic spells and keep one or both spirit gauges full so that Deedlit’s health would regenerate. I don’t remember even using a health potion, but we may have used one.

The actual Parn seemed to appear after this, and Deedlit had some words of endearment for him, then she disappeared. She woke up in the same house that she woke up in earlier in the game, but it was much brighter this time and the music was a lot friendlier. I was able to control Deedlit again and moved her outside, where she met a person called Leaf. Deedlit began to tell Leaf about all the people she encountered in the labyrinth but because Deedlit also encountered them all in real life, Leaf just thought she was talking about that and told Deedlit that “everybody knows that stuff.” Not me. I didn’t know any of that stuff. Maybe if I had I would’ve known that Parn had died years ago!

Deedlit and I continued through this pretty area with lots of birds and trees and a couple of nice, rustic buildings, and we eventually found the stone circle that the game started in (it momentarily shows the stone circle as it was at the start of the game; all dark and spooky). Deedlit seemed to finally come to terms with Parn’s death, and the credits rolled.

There is a quick post-credits scene where a young lad was in the woods calling for Deedlit. He said that she was needed because “an age of war has come to Lodoss once again”, but then a strange sound was heard and he fell to the ground. Deedlit found him and knelt next to him, and “The End” was displayed in the same spooky, green text that the game over screens have used. I have no idea what any of that is all about.

Well, I enjoyed that. It was nowhere near as complex as Metroid Dread, and much more combat focused, but it was a fun game to blast through and a nice-looking one, too. I don’t think I’ve been inspired to look into the greater franchise, but you never know. A Boss Rush mode was unlocked upon completion, but I think I’m done with Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth.

I’m glad I made the journey through Deedlit’s grief-fuelled dream labyrinth, though. She has some cool boss fights floating around in her head.

***

Some additional info; I read up on the story behind Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth later in the day, and found out that not only Parn, but all of Deedlit’s companions that we see throughout the adventure had died long ago. Deedlit has presumably outlived all of them due to elves in the Lodoss lore being immortal or long-lived like Tolkien’s elves. This explains why she is greeted by a character called Leaf at the end of the game, and not Slayn or Etoh or Woodchuck or someone. This gave the whole game a much more sobering tone, looking back, and Deedlit becomes an exceptionally sympathetic character.

I also learned that in the aforementioned Dreamcast game, Record of Lodoss War, you do not play as Parn, and instead play as a nameless hero resurrected to oppose an evil god. The story of that game has little to do with the greater lore of the franchise, it seems.

Sorry to any Lodoss aficionados reading, but at least I’m learning!

Visions of Mana – Game Diary

Visions of Mana is an Ouka Studios-developed, Square Enix-published action RPG released in August 2024. It’s the fifth main title in the Mana franchise, and tells the story of Val, a Soul Guard charged with escorting the Alms to the Mana Tree on a sacrificial mission to save the world by maintaining the flow of Mana. 

One of my favourite games of all time is Secret of Mana. It was the first RPG I ever played, and will always be very special to me. The following is a chronicle of my experience with this surprising modern continuation of the venerable series and it is, unsurprisingly, riddled with spoilers throughout. 

Session 1 – Saturday 31st August

I wasn’t sure whether to make a diary of my Visions of Mana play-through. I’m expecting it to be pretty long and didn’t want all that note-taking to get in the way of adventuring. I enjoyed making the Metroid Prime Remastered diary, though, so here we are, Visions of Mana on PS5, session one, just two days after it arrived on my doorstep. I’m expecting all the magic and intangible wonder of Secret of Mana recreated in beautiful 3D, so I’m sure I won’t be disappointed. The opening movie wasn’t disappointing, at least. The Mana Tree looks absolutely stunning.

Starting the game proper, and I’m introduced to a town in a ravine. I do like a ravine town. I’m immediately reminded how much I love the Mana art-style. There’s nothing else exactly like it. It seems like I’m playing as some random guy, though. A fellow called Eoren. I wasn’t expecting that. The music in this opening area is great, by the way.

It seems like Eoren is trying to escape the ravine town with a woman called Lyza who was named the Alm of Earth. I like Lyza a lot, but I’m unsure about the game’s voice acting so far, especially that of the random guards who are trying to stop us from escaping. I noticed that Eoren has a devil thing going on in his design – red eyes and horn hair. There are clear themes of sacrifice straight away, and I noted that the fairy character didn’t seem to give much of a shit when Lyza got turned into stone at the climax of this prologue. Interesting. It got me wondering if Eoren would end up becoming the game’s villain.

Still, with that over with, I’m taken to another village near a volcano, and put in control of Val, the guy on the cover. He looks kind of derpy but he’s okay. The game lets us explore the whole village and it’s quite large, and you can even swim in the water down at the beach. I like that the shopkeepers in the Mana franchise are still turban-wearing, dancing maniacs, too.

As the story moved on I decided I definitely don’t like the voice-acting. The quick cameo of Salamando, the Elemental of Fire, tipped it for me. He sounds like something out of a LEGO Ninjago knock-off. I’m pretty sure Secret of Mana sound effects come out of the controller, though. That was a nice touch.

Voice acting woes and some low-budget textures aside, I do like the look and feel of the game so far. That JRPG cosy vibe is right there and the music hits the spot. The distant, looming landmarks like the volcano and the mountain a bit later on somehow give a similar feeling to Visions of Mana’s 2D ancestors. The feeling that a massive world is there, but not quite in reach. I also love the main character models, but the random NPCs have less character. Hinna, who was named the Alm of Fire by the fairy from before and is a non-combat companion, is somewhere in between. She’s pretty, but her hair looks weird when she runs.

Val and Hinna met Eoren out in the wilderness, and I wasn’t expecting to see him again so early on. He disappeared overnight, though. Very suspicious. There was also an overgrown lake in this area that was very pretty, and reminded me of the swamp in the board game Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs. Also, there were Secret of Mana flamingos here. I eventually guided Val and Hinna to the area around the wind village, and this had particularly pleasing visuals, with paths heading into the valley and windmills and trailing pennants in the hills all around.

When we got to the village I met Careena, the dragon girl with one wing. She seemed pretty cool and had a similar rebellious energy to the sprite from Secret of Mana. I’ve seen people online complaining about her “Southern Belle” accent, but I kind of like it. It gives her character something, you know? Not like that generic, breathy anime girl voice that Hinna has, that I’ve come to the conclusion recently is completely worthless. I hate hearing it nowadays. It was that waif character from Granblue Fantasy: Relink that proved to be the straw that broke the camel’s back on that particular subject. I skipped most of Hinna’s dialogue.

Did I mention that even the save points in Visions of Mana are very pretty? Well they are, and they’re called meridians. They’re also the fast travel points. I saved at the meridian in the wind village and called it a night. I’m looking forward to having the chance to play again, so that’s a good sign.

Session 2 – Monday 2nd September

Session one resulted in a lot of writing, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep the entries shorter from now on.

I started session two with some side quests. I can’t imagine they’ll be too involved. This isn’t The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, after all. I was right to assume this. Collect a few things. Find some people in the wilderness. Locate a particular view from a painting. Basic stuff.

I was quickly reminded of how pretty this game can be when Val and Hinna re-entered the mountain valley area, especially when we heard that music swell. What a gorgeous-looking game, and the colour palette and visual design really do achieve a Secret of Mana vibe.

Careena and Ramcoh (the small, Flammie-like creature) joined after Val attempted to dye some fabric using the wind (it’s a long story). While walking around the wind village I noted that hiking from place to place can take a while. I’m looking forward to getting those rideable wolf things I saw in the trailer. I also noted here that it’s weird that nobody else has Careena’s accent. Surely everyone in the village should have that same Southern twang? Maybe the game will explain why she speaks so differently, but I doubt it.

With Careena in the party, I tried controlling her in battle, but as we were making our way up the windy mountain the wind vessel (a boomerang given to us by the village elder) activated and the tutorial made me change her class, and she controlled completely differently. I like being able to change the class of the characters on the fly, and the costume changes are cool too. With all the party members and all the elementals throughout the game, that must mean there’ll be a lot of classes to try. For now, I changed Val to the wind-based class and kept Careena with her spear, as I found spear-wielding Careena the most satisfying to control.

Anyway, as we continued up the side of the mountain the picturesque, grassy plateaus gave way into snowy crags. No character footprints in the snow, though. First Metroid Prime Remastered, and now this? Come on, developers, up your snowy footprint game, please.

We found a meridian halfway up the snowy mountain and it was time for me to sort out some lunch, so that was the end of session two. Maybe I’ll come back to it a bit later today, but for now, I’ll just say I’m very happy with the game now it’s gotten running. Peak JRPG cosiness.

Session 3 – Monday 2nd September

Straight in with a boss fight on this session, and it’s the Mantis Ant! The first boss of Secret of Mana and the boss from the trailer, too. Also, during this fight, the characters and the Mantis Ant pushed the snow aside as they moved, revealing patterned tiles underneath. Excellent. Anyway, the Mantis Ant was easy, and we rescued Sylphid, the Elemental of Wind. Careena also became the Alm of Wind. Our next stop was some moonlit snowy drifts, and the visuals of this area were a definite “wow” moment.

Not long after being wowed by a snowy mountain vista with a giant moon watching over it, we had our first difficult fight. A giant fish guy with a spear kept freezing us in place and smacking us with a blizzard spell. Careena was downed and I swapped to Val and used a Cup of Wishes to revive her. I kept playing as Val and loosed off the big special move so the fishy guy’s health was low, but then Val got dropped, so I swapped back to Careena and finished it off. This confirmed that downed allies still get experience from fights. That’s a relief.

Also, I’d like to apologise for my previous comments about footprints, as I could just about make out Careena’s footprints in this area. It seems that only the character you’re controlling leaves footprints, though.

As we reached the abandoned snowy town of Etaern, I realised that you can only control Val in towns, which means I’m never going to be able to avoid hearing him say “grrrrrizly!” when we find that honey stuff. I met the cat bloke soon after this realisation. He reminds me of Evan from Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom, and seems cool. I like his voice acting. He wanted us to help him find his moon treasure.

I had to end the session abruptly as the family and I went out to eat. I really don’t eat out as often as these diaries make it seem. Anyway, the game was saved at the meridian outside of the cat’s tent.

Session 4 – Monday 2nd September

Fitting a third session in today! The cat man is called Morley. I tried him out in combat and he’s fun to control. He feels kind of like a knight crossed with a fencer crossed with a ninja.

I can now confirm that all of the characters make footprints in the snow, too. How did I not notice this in previous snowy areas? Look, I take everything I said about the footprints back, okay? Anyway, we were able to see into the past in Etaern because of the moon’s magic or something. We witnessed child Morley breaking a giant sandglass. Typical! The sands of time made the cat people from the town disappear, and suddenly Val is alone, chasing the kid version of Morley. I’m playing some kind of time-travelling vision, it seems. We received the Luna Globe, the vessel of the moon, which was activated and turned Val into a golden-armoured knight with a lance and shield. I didn’t really like this outfit or controlling him in this class, so I doubt I’ll use it much.

We sorted out the whole sands of time debacle, helping Morley feel more confident and leave his past behind, and he became the Alm of the Moon. Upon exiting the town we met three cat girls (more cats than girls) and I only just remembered Neko from Secret of Mana. These cats are merchants, too.

The big dogs were the next major highlight! They’re called pikuls. They’re super cool (and actually massive compared to the characters), but I couldn’t work out how to dismount at first. I figured it out after a while, though. You hold down the square button … if you’re wondering.

We eventually made it through the large area where the dogs are introduced, and reached Rhata Harbor. I’m going to try and catch the town names from now on. Rhata Harbor is a large, rustic fishing village, by the looks of things. Careena accidentally knocked over a rich-looking rat/skunk man here. He accused her of stealing his key. His ship is called the Primm. I get that reference. As Val is looking for the key Eoren showed up and started acting dodgy again. I decided to save now as I was getting tired. Good progress today.

Session 5 – Tuesday 3rd September

I figured I had time for a strictly one hour-long session before work today. Speaking of work, as I booted up this session I remembered reading somewhere that the team behind Visions of Mana got laid off immediately after releasing this game due to Square’s restructuring. That sucks, for lots of reasons.

I rejoined Val and pals in Rhata Harbor, and one thing I appreciated here was the way NPC townspeople are generally doing something other than just standing stoically, waiting to deliver their dialogue. I noticed one guy sitting on a wall in a natural, laid-back pose, and another person washing in the fountain. I also made a note here about Val being built like a brick shit house if you actually look at his character model. Maybe I should start calling him Val Venis.

No. I really shouldn’t. For lots of reasons.

Anyway, we got Careena out of her little jam and started side-questing in the large area that preceded Rhata. I like the big dog-riding music, but I like the on-foot exploration music better, so I only ride the big dogs when I have to. We cleared up the side-quests pretty quickly, and then it was time to board the Primm! Eoren was also on board, and was starting to spread his anti-Alm propaganda. Keep your opinions to yourself, guy! He started talking about the Mana Sword afterwards. Now I’m all ears.

Honestly, I quite like Eoren’s inclusion in the story. He’s an unpredictable wildcard that the player knows more about than the characters. I like that he appears occasionally, acting a bit odd and careless, and subtly throws spanners into the whole Alm thing that everyone otherwise is just blindly accepting. It’s good stuff. The rest of the NPCs on the ship are mostly talking about having a bad feeling about this voyage and hearing rumours of monsters in the ocean. I wonder where this is going…

Sure enough, here comes the giant squid boss fight! It was a really fun and cinematic battle, though, with some neat moments where the squid tried to capsize the ship, It wasn’t all that challenging, but I enjoyed it a lot. Upon defeating the aquatic beast, our new objective is to “Enjoy the Primm”. I feel like Dyluck would have something to say about that.

Once we reached our destination we had a quick nose around Ledgas Bay, which has a coastal Greece vibe complete with an ornate viaduct type structure, and my time was up. I didn’t expect my short, pre-work session to be so eventful.

Session 6 – Tuesday 3rd September

I began this late session pondering my future party members. Obviously you can see the Alms that are going to join the party in the artwork and the intro movie, and I have to say I really dislike the little leaf boy. We’ll see what he’s actually like when we get that far, I suppose. I predict an extremely annoying voice.

Anyway, tonight’s session kicked off in Ledgas Bay, and we rode the water lift to the upper section of town. I’d like to visit here in real life. It has a high end hotel complex/water park thing going on. The giant tree at the exit to the next world section gave me another “wow” moment, too.

We did some side-questing in Pritta Ridge, the next world area and another visual stunner. This one had a coastal theme, and running around beneath the sun beams on a dazzling waterfront finding treasure chests had this perfectly playful sense of adventure and innocent wonder to it. As we got further in to Pritta Ridge, it reminded me of Azshara from World of Warcraft, but Illystana, the “largest city in the world” and our destination, had its own thing going on, with its giant orb of water that hovered over the palace.

This area definitely continued the Greek or Roman style, but the music was straight out of Ratatouille. The party’s journey has a real sightseeing, holiday-making feel right now, despite some heavy moments previously. I wonder if the story will take a darker, more urgent turn soon.

We met a girl wearing a fake moustache and men’s clothing at the fountain. She sprained her ankle and her and Morley had a moment. I’m thinking it’s the queen of this place (and the next party member) on a secret sojourn, Princess Jasmine style. All this subterfuge and drama was too much for me for one night, and I saved and quit at the meridian in front of the palace.

Session 7 – Wednesday 4th September

I found time for another cheeky pre-work session today, and started the PS5 up as I was stuffing baked goods into my mouth for breakfast. Obviously we were still in Illystana, “the largest city in the world”, and I noted that the explorable area around the palace is unnecessarily huge, and they don’t even let you ride the dogs in towns either! Val couldn’t get into the palace, just being the lowly Soul Guard and not a high-and-mighty Alm and all, and the guards sent him back to the market. That’s another long walk without giant fluffy dogs to carry us.

Soon after this the moustached person who bumped into Morley earlier was revealed to be Queen Palamena. I couldn’t believe it. Incredible twist. My jaw dropped to the floor. Incidently, Morley and Hinna are both having their doubts about the Alm role, now, and I’m looking forward to seeing how this is going to play out. Val and Hinna had a quick happy moment following this and night fell over the city. Illystana looks even more spectacular in the starlight.

As we learned more about Palamena, the beautiful Queen of Illystana, whose hips have never once told a word of a lie, it is revealed that she has been named as the Alm of Water. There’s a neat slice of political intrigue here, as her being the Alm of Water means that the little weasel/skunk man can make a play for the throne with Palamena’s young brother taking up rule in her stead. Another interesting little layer to a story that still just seems to be building, and hasn’t really pulled the trigger on anything yet.

Palamena has very wordy dialogue, and is very fond of alliteration (with even the text in the menu screen that describes her fighting style making use of it), and the party have been sent to investigate the Luka Shrine (another Secret of Mana callback) to see what’s happening with the city’s water supply. I would question this whole water shortage storyline, as folks are talking constantly about the city’s water supplies slowing to a trickle when I only have to look around to see that the place is absolutely full of sparkling pools and cascading waterfalls, but I’m too distracted by Palamena’s thighs.

A quick venture back out into Pritta Ridge followed, to discover that we can only have three people in the active party at once. We also did some side-questing earlier in the session. Anyway, time was running short here in the real world, so I saved at the meridian just outside Illystana and headed off to work.

Session 8 – Wednesday 4th September

No work tomorrow so I’m having a late night session. Early on in this session we accidentally picked a fight with some level 53 harpies while exploring Pritta Ridge. We’d seen high level enemies around before, but this is the first time the party had entered into battle with them. It didn’t go well, Palamena was downed, and we were forced to escape.

Eventually we located the Luka Ruins, and I found myself wondering if it was the same place as the Water Temple in Secret of Mana. Does the geography work out? I don’t think so, but the music here feels very Secret of Mana-esque. I liked the area and hoped the story might soon take that dramatic turn I was hoping for here. It would not, not here anyway, but I still enjoyed the mystical, watery atmosphere.

We found weasel-man and his cronies up to no good down in the depths of Luka Ruins, and had to fight a giant crab (that looked exactly like the one from Trials of Mana) called Fullmetal Hugger. Upon defeating the giant enemy crab, weasel-tail spouted some more anti-Alm philosophy, and then ran for it. He’s still at large, as far as I know. As we go back to the city we meet Niccolo, the big cat man who’s been talked about for most of the game. I do not like him, visually or aurally.

Quite a lot happens now in the story, so instead of letting this entry become an essay, I’ll cover the main points briefly.

At night time, Val decides to sneak into the palace and see Hinna. He can’t get in and meets her on the balcony (the inside of this palace is definitely not modelled because the story is really trying to keep me out), and Eoren shows up and says that he can free them from the whole Alm sacrifice thing.

I think now that Eoren is probably my favourite character (after Careena, of course, because look at her), as whenever he shows up he mixes things up and interrupts Val and company’s low-stakes sightseeing vacation.

Hinna is fully against being an Alm now, and Eoren takes Val and Hinna to an island with a shrine on it. This place is known as Reignus Shrine, and, despite this being another visually resplendent area, I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen.

Something bad happened. Eoren used a ritual to steal Val’s monster crystallising powers and crystallises Hinna’s essence into a stone. Hinna seemed to be dying, and a song with sad lyrics started to play. Here comes the dramatic turn I was hoping for! Hinna dispersed into a spray of lights, Val cried, and the volcano near their home village got angry. The next morning, Val and Morley are mad at Val for going off with Eoren alone (a little bit of inter-party dissent), but apparently horrible-looking and sounding cat-man, Niccolo, is going to try and get Val out of his funk.

I know your best pal, childhood sweetheart and clear love interest just faded to nothing in your very arms, Val, but I need you to get your head back in the game, alright?”

When I regained control of Val a jaunty fanfare played from the controller speaker because I’d gained Hinna’s pendant. A bit of mood dissonance there, taken a little further by the return of the delightful Ratatouille-esque music.

The party reassembled and decided to chase Eoren to the Mana Tree and regain the stone with Hinna’s essence in it. I wonder if this will make her come back? In a way, I hope they let her stay dead. More dramatic that way. I have a feeling we’ll see her again, though.

Anyway, we stepped out of the city and into an area called Ahrvet’s Pasture, but it’s getting late, and that was enough for tonight. Time for bed. If you know it, imagine the Secret of Mana “staying at the inn” music right now.

Session 9 – Thursday 5th September

I started this session while listening to the Rimworld soundtrack. Could two games be more different? I didn’t continue listening to the Rimworld soundtrack while playing Visions of Mana, though. I’m not a barbarian.

We started exploring Ahrvet’s Pasture and fell of a cliff. There were no traversal bubbles here so we followed the river at the bottom of the cliff and found a really tranquil beachside woods area. I noticed something out to sea that looks like a big, dead bug with its legs in the air. The areas to explore in Visions of Mana are relatively huge, and with those syrup things and other pick-ups dotted around, the areas occasionally feel like platformer worlds with collectibles.

Anyway, looking at it from the top of a cliff, the thing that looked like a giant dead bug from further away is actually an enormous, fossilised rib cage. My idea would’ve been more interesting, but I guess a big fossil is more on brand. The player doesn’t get to see the rib cage up close, as it’s beyond the transition point on the map and the game takes you straight to Dura Gorge. This is a canyon area formed of red rock that’s filled with gigantic skeletons of things that look like mammoths and triceratops. It’s the first non-idyllic-looking location (even Luka Shrine had a beautiful grove feeling), but it’s still got that JRPG cosiness.

I’ve been controlling Val again lately, using his water class. The water vessel attack basically sees him holding the vessel and shooting water from the hip, as if it’s some kind of heavy machine gun. Kind of like Old Painless, but wetter.

After getting turned into a moogle for the first time, this session came to a sudden stop because it was raining and my daughter was finishing school so I walked down to meet her with an umbrella. The things I do for my family. I didn’t even get to save, just let the PS5 drop into sleep mode.

Session 10 – Friday 6th September

You know, some of the water in this game looks wonderful. The springs in Dura Gorge look terribly inviting, as if they’re infused with natural salts and minerals, and would soothe my tired bones. A very big rabbit-ogre thing awaits at the end of Dura Gorge, and he does not look like he’d soothe my tired bones at all. Luckily, he was a very easy boss fight. I detected a slight heat haze effect in the entrance to the next area, but before we moved on, I stopped to purchase some more skills in the elemental plots.

It’s how the characters gain abilities, and the abilities they can gain change depending on what vessel they have equipped. You can use items to expand their elemental plots, and you spend element points to learn skills and abilities in them. So far, I have spent Val’s points in the water route, Careena’s in wind and Morley’s in lunar, but I haven’t done anything with Palamena’s points yet. I haven’t decided how I want her to develop.

Anyway, the next area is the Deade Cliffs, and it’s a pretty cool area. There’s a desert town up ahead, and then a fuck-off huge cliff behind it with thick woods or jungle at the top. It really made me want to go up there. The town is run by a big, strapping beast boy called Molebe, who spoke to us introduced Gloriosa who, despite being a cat person, has quite the striking figure. She’s going to help with the Jaque Seed that is supposed to enable us to climb up the cliffs, but I just think “Jaque Seed” sounds rude. Anyway, she planted it and watered it and it just withered, so we’re off to find Gnome to help with the soil fertility or whatever. The game teleports us back to Ahrvet’s Pasture. I wouldn’t have minded walking back.

Oh, and Val’s new water attack that I purchased in the elemental plot reminds me of another ’80s movie. It really looks like he’s firing a proton pack when he uses it. “Don’t cross the streams”, as they say.

Upon leaving Ahrvet’s Pasture via another route, we came to Entwine Bridgepass, and the characters discuss some soppy backstory to the name. I think that’s why I like Careena the most; she’s the least interested in soppy stuff. This area is another visual stunner, with dramatic mountains in the background and a huge and spectacular bridge crossing a seemingly bottomless ravine. There’s a large area in the centre that looks like a boss fight arena, but nothing happens. Maybe on the way back.

Beyond the Entwine Bridgepass is another reddish, Monument Valley-looking area. We’re heading to somewhere called the Free City of Tsaata, hoping to find a ship to the village from the prologue so that we can entreat Gnome. When we arrived (after a spot of side-questing), we found that the Free City was more of a village, or possibly a settlement, and I’m ready to call it a session. It’s raining again, you see, and I have to go and take an umbrella to school so the youth doesn’t get soaked.

Session 11 – Friday 6th September

Another session not long after the last one, and the gang is still hanging out with the free people of Tsaata. I noted here that it’s kind of annoying that the game takes away the double jump while in towns, but I’ll get over it. Tsaata seems to be full of hippie communists … maybe, I’m not all that political and can’t really label their way of thinking. They’re kind of annoying though, but probably harmless.

The party gets sent off on some more side-quests back in the previous area, and we fight an extra-tough harpy enemy high up on a bluff. We used a couple of Cups of Wishes on this fight, and eventually had to opt to escape and re-jig the party setup as it was apparently immune to water attacks. I removed Palamena from the active party and replaced her with Morley with the moon vessel, and removed the water vessel from Val, and we took it out pretty easily. This fight really showed that party setup is a big deal in tougher fights.

Upon reaching the dock at Tsaata we met another wind tribe dragon person. She has a Southern belle accent! I feel like I should be happy about this but I think it actually makes it even weirder that there are now two of them with that accent. She said that a wall of water keeps stopping people leaving Tsaata by boat. I would like to see this phenomenon. We headed back to the centre of town and Careena started dancing with some townspeople, and a gruff, older cat guy called Glyff starts having a go at Val and kicking off about Alms. I don’t like his voice acting and he kind of approaches uninvited and just starts judging us, so Glyff is now my third least favourite character after Palamena’s little brother and the woman that shoves her life choices down our throats at the entrance to Tsaata.

Anyway, Palamena got a headache and she and Val went to the overlooking cliff to get some fresh air, and I get to see that wall of water. It is a very high and very scary wall of water, with a female form on top who was calling to Palamena. She nearly stepped right off the cliff, but Val just about stopped her. It was a cool moment. After this, Glyff gave us the fire vessel (still don’t like him), and we were tasked with heading off to another temple. I decided to save up and end the session, but I’m looking forward to trying out the fire classes and getting to the bottom of what’s causing these crazy, Ponyo-esque waves.

Session 12 – Saturday 7th September

I went for another brief pre-work session this morning, and decided to try Palamena in her fiery form for a bit. She looks like some kind of festive pirate. The place we’re off to is called Tatoh, and it’s a ruined temple that looks pretty cool off in the distance.

Once we got inside, we quickly discovered what appears to be a giant turtle and a pretty girl who have both been turned into stone. I’m guessing one or both will get de-stoned soon, and I’m wondering if we can save Lyza from her stony fate. While exploring this temple I discovered two things. One is that I was wrong about Careena not caring about soppy stuff, as she is drinking in this princess and turtle love story that seems to be the theme of this temple, and the other is that I don’t like Palamena as a fire class. I put the fire vessel on Careena instead, and she looks cool and is fun to control in this form.

Sure enough, upon reciting the entirety of the tragic love story to the turtle, he turned back into turtle flesh and we had to battle him. It’s a minion-summoning fight where he stands out of reach and summons waves of monsters while periodically hurting himself. This was tough, and I actually suffered my first full party wipe here on the last wave, which was a load of machine golem things with pointy heads (they were mini-bosses in Secret of Mana). I needed to change tactics.

We then proceeded to absolutely walk this fight on the second attempt. I controlled Val instead of Careena and re-equipped the water vessel to him, moving Palamena out of the active party and bringing Morley back in. I saved the big watery proton pack attack for the final wave and cleared them up really easily. The big turtle calmed down and beckoned us to follow, so we headed outside.

I had to save and quit here as it was time for work, but I’ll just add that my daughter woke up during the second fight and she really liked the turtle, especially his big, googly eyes.

Session 13 – Saturday 9th September

I came home from work to find that my daughter had been playing Visions of Mana for a few hours while my wife was asleep on the sofa. She’d already got to the pikuls. It took me four sessions to get to the pikuls! Also, I completed Metroid Prime Remastered on the thirteenth session of my previous game diary. I have I feeling history will not repeat itself.

Anyway, we’re going sailing with the turtle! He plunged into the wall of water, the female form appeared once again, and they reunited. Now he has a big lady turtle friend. You can tell she’s a lady turtle because she has eyelashes. The siren thing where Palamena almost gets drawn off the cliff never really gets brought up again, though. Why was Palamena specifically effected? I guess we’ll never know.

The party landed on Jutu’ona, the Earth Continent, and it’s another large desert beset by a sandstorm. The music here is really cool and I enjoyed the less idyllic vibe. The big sea of sinking sand in the middle of this exploration area, as well as the introduction of the mad mallard enemies, are definitely giving me Secret of Mana tingles again. The desert area in Secret of Mana was pretty tough at first, though, and I’m absolutely slicing through the enemies here with fire vessel-equipped Careena’s fire charge move. It also took me this long to notice that Visions of Mana is missing the magi-tech flourishes of Secret of Mana, because I remembered the big sand ship from that game. I wonder if something akin to the Mana Fortress will appear at some point.

We eventually reached Gudju, the ravine village from the prologue, and things aren’t looking good-ju. I remember walking these roads as Eoren many moons ago. We met a character who looks like a Secret of Mana-style dwarf, and lo and behold, his name is Watts. Can it be the same Watts? He’s pro Alm sacrifice, whoever he is. After finding stone-form Lyza and Val having a moment (he’s actually gone through a lot, when you think about it), Watts gave us the Gnome Shovel, which is the earth vessel, and sent us to some nearby mines to look for Gnome, the earth spirit.

The place is called the Gamurda Mines and the music has hints of the Pandoran Ruins music in Secret of Mana. Those same discordant chimes. There’s an ongoing but relatively simple statue-moving puzzle where we used the Gnome Shovel to take control of golems, and I was expecting to fight an Earth Gigas at the end, but it was some kind of giant mole/anteater thing called the Jewel Eater. It was an easy fight. Gnome and Watts met at this point, and I was expecting them to know each other but they didn’t appear to. Is this the same Watts or what, then? If not, why is he the only one that looks like the Secret of Mana dwarfs, with the black void skin and glowing round eyes? We saw more normal looking dwarfs during the prologue with Eoren. Very confusing. Anyway, back to the turtle.

Now we can control the turtle! He splashes through the water with the greatest of ease, and the music sounds like something out of Cool Runnings. We explored the oceans and found a snowy town, a floating island, and a super tall tower, none of which we could go to. We also went back to the starting village and spoke to Val’s mum and dad and they were all like “make sure you look after Hinna!” Awkward.

Our actual destination was Deade Cliffs, though, and I decided to save and call it a session once we arrived. I noted down that it’s weird that we haven’t met the leaf boy yet – it’s been ages since we’ve had a new party member. I also wondered what was going to happen with the dark and light Alms.

Session 14 – Sunday 8th September

Another shorter session, this time on a rainy Sunday morning. At Deade Cliffs we got a nice little cutscene showing the seed grow, and now the cliffs are dominated by an enormous beanstalk.

As the party is preparing to ascend the cliffs, I ponder on what the story might be missing. It still feels quite casual, and I’m wondering if some kind of evil empire or obvious villain might have shook things up. Eoren has a good story arc to him, and we totally understand his motivations, but I think he could exist alongside some kind of more obvious, looming threat to make things feel a bit more imminent. I guess terrible fates befall villages if the Alms don’t make it to the Mana Tree, but there are too many questions surrounding that concept for it to feel like a clear threat.

Anyway, the jungle at the top of the cliffs is another visually wonderful area. I do love a lush, verdant and exotic forest in a JRPG. We found another place here that looks like a boss arena but isn’t. Maybe we’ll fight something on the way back again? Or maybe certain bosses weren’t included in the final game but their arenas were already made. I would find out soon with regards to this particular area.

So we made it to Verdeus Borough, and I found myself anticipating that I’ll soon find out just how annoying the leaf boy is. The party meets him playing some kind of guitar and singing a weird little song and, yep, I hate him. There’s a story about him watering his friends and looking after the grove while all the other inhabitants are hibernating in tree form, that culminates in a very easy boss battle against a giant plant boss like the ones in Secret of Mana at the empty arena area I discussed earlier, but I just want it over with so I can equip a vessel to leaf boy and change his outfit.

Dryad, the Elemental of Wood, eventually shows up and Julei (that’s leaf boy’s name) joins the party, and we also get the wood vessel. I equip it to him and now I don’t have to look at his chubby legs. Much more tolerable. He’s clearly a healer-type character who can apparently revive downed allies. I might need to sub him on for the occasional boss fight.

Anyway, time was up, so we’ll have to head on towards the Mana Tree next session.

Session 15 – Sunday 8th September

I was playing a bit of Disney Dreamlight Valley before this session. It seems pretty good if you like that sort of thing. It’s no comfy JRPG, though. Back to Visions of Mana.

We’re in the Mylos Woods and there’s a barrier around the Mana Tree that keeps monsters (and Val) out. That thing is definitely coming down, probably due to Eoren. That’s what I thought, anyway, but things played out a bit differently.

Mylos Woods is another beautiful forest area. I guess it would be the equivalent of the Pure Land in Secret of Mana? Although, it very much lacks the difficulty spike that the Pure Land was packing. The place is gorgeous, though, and nails that Mana series storybook illustration feel. Evoking Hiroo Isono, the amazing artist responsible for the Secret of Mana cover art. The area beyond the Mylos Woods is also stunning, though we didn’t get to explore much of it because shit goes down.

So Eoren was there, and so was the Mana Sword, and the “rock” it was stuck into doesn’t look like a rock to me. That’s an egg. Eoren and the party talked, and Eoren made a good point; that Val was okay with Hinna dying because of the Alm sacrifice – Eoren just made it happen sooner.

He also mentioned the Benevedons, which are the boss monsters from Trials of Mana. I never did quite finish that game. Eoren tried to take the sword and a big, scary, angel-looking man appeared. I guess he came from the egg? Anyway, he claims the Mana Sword, and really sounds like that big bad I was craving. He casts Eoren aside and we have to fight him. The battle was tough and we just about survived, and a tree man called Trent appeared from nowhere and helped to hold him back while we escaped. The bad man is called Daelophos, and he apparently tried to overthrow the Mana Goddess long ago. Was he from Trials of Mana? I can’t quite remember.

During the ensuing discussion in which lore is dumped and next steps are discussed, Julei intermittently strums his guitar in a grandiose manner while talking. The little prick is starting to grow on me. A bit.

The next stop is Gudju again, because the Benevodons that Daelophos is trying to resurrect are located near where all the Alms are appointed, and he said something about earth apparently, meaning the party decided to go there first. I must have missed him mentioning earth.

What followed was a very long session of side-questing and travelling back and forth, which I won’t bother recording. Eventually, the party landed once again on Jutu’ona, and then it was time to save and quit. Until next time.

Session 16 – Monday 9th September

Some side-quests popped up in the desert so we took care of them, then we headed back to Gudju. We arrived too late to stop Daelophos (who I’m going to call Dale from now on because that’s so much easier to type) from slicing both Eoren and rock-Lyza with the Mana Sword. Dale buggered off to his next mission, and Val claimed Eoren and Lyza’s core stones, and that’s it for them. Maybe.

It turns out that Dale has summoned the local Benevodon, whose name is apparently Gareth. Well, it’s actually Garethe, but come on, if the main villain is called Dale then this guy is definitely called Gareth. Anyway, Gareth is apparently in the desert next to the boat, and the boat is apparently called the Dyluck! On the way out of Gudju leaf-boy says something else that endears him to me. “There’s never a dull moment with you people. Are you constantly fighting monsters, or did I just join at a bad time?” This is totally what I’d be like if I joined a JRPG group. I still don’t like him, but I brought him into the party because I thought we might need healing against Gareth.

The fight against Gareth was very cool. We were onboard the Dyluck which was somehow moving along the sand sea (something to do with Sylphid), and Gareth turned out to be a gigantic sand worm/dragon type thing. Gareth would periodically summon adds like goblins and things (that would satisfyingly fall to their dooms if smashed over the side of the Dyluck), and would attack with huge projectiles. We had to damage Gareth by using the Dyluck’s cannons as he slithered through the sand, exposing his weak points. Eventually, we shot Gareth down and Careena found the vessel of light on the ship. How convenient.

Our next stop was the Dark Archive – a big, gloomy library. I had high hopes for this place, and upon approaching on the turtle I saw that it’s also the location of the super-high tower that I noted earlier. Upon landing, we saw that the area is a spooky, misty shoreline and the party started talking about ghosts. This is a good start.

We spoke to a scholar called Aesh (who is an acquaintance of Palamena), and explored in a big library. I like libraries in JRPGs, they are always very cosy. I always remember the one in Tales of Vesperia that’s also an inn, and the party sleep on the shelves. I sometimes imagine this place if I can’t sleep at night. Visions of Mana’s library is very dark and messy, with books stacked everywhere, some of them symmetrical, like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

Anyway, upon speaking to Morley after the talk with Aesh it seems that Morley doesn’t like him, which is interesting, but my eyes were feeling very heavy by this point. Libraries in JRPGs, I’m telling you. They’re too cosy.

We found a fork or something to prop something up. I was nodding off at this point so I couldn’t say for sure what happened. Time to save and quit and have a nap.

Session 17 – Monday 9th September

The nap didn’t last long as the child returned from school. It’s fine, she went to hang out in her room so I thought I’d get another hour of gameplay in.

These nerds in the Dark Archive are kind of annoying, and I think that’s the point. They just talk on and on about theories to the detriment of actually taking action. Honestly, how does anything get done around here? Anyway, we used a fork to fix a building and were given the darkness vessel, which was apparently holding the building up. Morley again displayed his disdain for Aesh, and I’m now realising it’s a jealousy thing. The romantic hints between Palamena and Morely had kind of slowed since her introduction, but that’s definitely what’s happening here.

As we headed up to the super-tall tower seen from the map (in search of some kind of tome), it became clear that Aesh was joining us for this leg of the journey. Morley didn’t like this, and outright called him indifferent at one point. I don’t think there’s anything especially sinister up Aesh’s sleeve or anything. He’s just rubbing the party up the wrong way.

I also noted here that I like how most of the trees have collision detection on their thicker branches, so that players can jump around and climb them if they want. The developers often hide those syrup pick-ups in trees too to encourage it.

Anyway, we entered the tall tower, which is called Passagean Tomespire, and this is a really cool dungeon. There is some weird, upended gravity going on, and the layout of the dungeon changes in these cool, dynamic ways. The bookshelves float and become platforms, and the party uses shadow powers to grapple around from place to place. As the building comes apart and reconfigures, it becomes apparent that the whole area is suspended in this galactic void outside of reality. It’s an awesome journey. With this and the Gareth fight, Visions of Mana is really kicking things up a notch in terms of spectacle.

We also encountered a couple of mimic chests in here, too, and it seems like an appropriate place for them. The boss of this area was also memorable, being an approximation of the Secret of Mana Wall Face enemy, except with rotating rooms and the use of platforms to avoid spikes. We beat it, but only just, and by using lots of items. I really was not set up for this fight, as I had Careena in her fire guise and the thing was immune to fire, and didn’t have Julei in for healing.

We got it though, and back in town Careena started being a dick to Morley about his jealousy. He asked Palamena in front of everyone how she sees her relationship with Aesh, and she says that she sees him as a tutor and also like a brother. Morley is much happier now. We picked up some ingredients for a potion (and Morley and Palamena have another little moment), and it’s time for me to prepare the youngster’s dinner. Session 17 concluded.

Session 18 – Monday 9th September

A late night session to finish the day, and a character called Bon Voyage is involved in the potion making. I know I’ve heard the name and even seen this guy before, but I think it was while I was sleep-playing, as his existence is so confusing and esoteric to me. He’s an odd-looking gnome-like fellow. I don’t really know what the potion is for either. Bon Voyage called it a Corepedo, which just sounds dodgy. Apparently it has something to do with getting Hinna’s core stone back? After talking to Aesh, the scholar reveals that it is some kind of ancient weapon that will slow Dale down while he tries to resurrect the Benevedon at the top of the tower so we can … get the core stone off of him, I suppose.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Dale arrives in Aesh’s library during this explanation. Dale once again casts everyone aside but Aesh has a badass moment of bravery and manages to lob the Corepedo at him. It weakens Dale drastically but he escapes. Aesh totally just saved our lives. Now the dark Benevedon is awake, though, and Aesh is being all humble because he didn’t predict that Dale would come to the library. Now he’s coming with us.

We had to do the dungeon all over again here, which I wasn’t sure about, but there was an added bit at the end, which makes it okay. The darkness Benevedon appeared and I recognised him! Or her. Or them. In fact, I’ve written about its Seiken Densetsu 3/Trials of Mana iteration for TripleJump. Two giant ugly faces and a giant, creepy, sexy face, all with various devastating powers. The sexy face would resurrect the ugly faces while it was alive, and the three faces summoned trash enemies and enacted black hole attacks. After we defeated the Benevedon of Darkness, Careena called it the Benevedon of Dumbness, which I appreciated. Then Aesh got named the Alm of Darkness.

Our next stop is the light-themed area. It’s called Terratio, and we were looking for info on Cerulia, which is the name Dale cried out when he wasn’t feeling very well earlier. It’s a nice name. Aesh stayed behind.

Terratio is on the snowy isle, and is another visual stunner, a mystical, icy paradise featuring a dazzling aurora overhead. The domed playhouse, the blue trees, the giant, arched mountain in the background with the lights beaming through it, it’s really magical. There was something going on here with actors forgetting their lines and Val clearing their heads with the vessel of light. It’s basically an excuse for Dale’s backstory to be gradually recited to us. The actress playing Cerulia wandered up the mountain in a trance. Her feet were bare and she was walking on ice and snow, and Palamena called back to her siren incident. Also, Aesh showed up again. Hardly seemed worth having him stay behind.

The party headed into the Temple of Wendel that’s at the top of the mountain, which is a cool icy cavern type dungeon, with slippery ice underfoot during certain battles. We solved some simple light-reflecting puzzles, and had a quick boss fight against a Frost Gigas. This one did not turn out to be Santa.

Val was hearing Dale’s voice throughout this area, and it’s clear now that Dale, like Eoren and Val, is motivated by a lost love. With this in mind, we reached the top of the temple and exited into a stunning, starry vista at the summit. I decided to call it for the night, but I’m looking forward to seeing what’s next.

Session 19 – Tuesday 11th September

I decided to get in another quick session before work, and started off strong with the mountaintop view. Also, footprints in snow are once again confirmed. We walked straight into Dale, who summoned a somewhat creepy, giant lady and then went all super-powered before buggering off again. The creepy lady was the Benevedon of Light, and it was a pretty standard fight with a mechanic where her armoured dress had to be smashed off, revealing her giant, levitating, feminine form. We did suffer a total party kill here, but it was due to my carelessness rather than the fight being too tough, and we defeated her the second time.

We met Lumina after this, the Elemental of Light, and I hated his voice. Most of the spirits have annoying voices, it seems. Still, he made Val the Alm of Light, which was a legitimately cool development that I honestly didn’t see coming, although I guess Lyza’s situation somewhat foreshadowed it, having once been a Soul Guard and then chosen as an Alm.

We sat back and watched a play (although Val was dragged on stage) and then smashed some side quests back inside the temple, and that’s all I had time for.

Session 20 – Tuesday 11th September

The characters also leave footprints in sand. I really do take back all I said initially about footprints in this game. The first couple of hours of this very long session were taken up with side-questing and pissing about throughout the world. We returned to the first explorable area outside of Val’s village, and I realised just how much stuff I’d missed. Chests, syrups, whole areas…

Eventually, we finally headed back to Verdeus Borough (where Julei used to live), and I was once again floored by the Isono-style visuals. The way they’ve captured his style of detailed, fantastical foliage in a 3D, explorable world is really excellent. Amazing. We had a quick chat with Trent the tree and then we see the Tree of Mana in the distance for the first time (not counting the low-poly version on the turtle map). The fairy appeared (and I still think about how little she seemed to care when Lyza got turned to stone), and there were monsters here inside the barrier when there shouldn’t be, including those friggin’ griffon claw things from Secret of Mana. So this is the equivalent of the Pure Land. I really can’t stress how gorgeous this place is to experience, though. I can honestly see myself booting up Visions of Mana long after I’ve finished it, just to hang out here.

The whole deal with only Alms being allowed beyond the barrier really made this situation feel special, and made me feel like I’m one of very few who have ever been deemed worthy of setting foot here. We met a white dragon princess named Vadise, and she wanted to know if we “have the strength to face the truth of this world”. A cool little fight with her ensued where she summons adds in between throwing questions at us and making us choose the correct element to attack depending on the answer to her questions.

After this, a guy called Khoda appeared, and I thought that he looked like a more manly Val. It turns out that they are related, and that the Khoda we saw before us is the manifested will of the first Soul Guard, whose job is to guard the Mana Goddess. As we approached the Tree of Mana for real, the game was doing a great job of making me feel like this was a big moment. I’m really impressed with Visions of Mana right now.

Khoda reveals that the Mana Goddess has been asleep ever since the realms merged (so a really, really long time), and then the remaining five Benevedons attacked the barrier, giving us a quick preview of all of them. The attack didn’t come to anything, though, which was a bit weird. We decided that we were going after the Benevedons, but apparently we’re still planning to offer up our souls to protect the flow of Mana afterwards, although Kohda hints that we might be able to change this cycle.

In one last twist for the evening, it’s revealed that Ramcoh is actually Flammie! Somehow. I’m not sure exactly how, but Ramcoh and Flammie are one and the same and Ramcoh can enlarge into Flammie and fly us around the map now. This has shaken me to the core, as Ramcoh is a girl and I always thought that Flammie was a boy.

Anyway, we flew around for a bit, dropped Aesh off at the Dark Archive, and I called it a night after an action-packed session. Next time, Benevedon-chasing.

Session 21 – Wednesday 11th September

So, we are able to choose what order to take on the next four Benevedons, and we went after the Wind Benevedon at Longren, Careena’s homeland. It was super windy there. I mean, it was always windy there, but now it’s really windy.

I had to stop now briefly to hang out the washing, and it was really windy outside, too. I felt appropriately windswept by the real wind when I came back inside to deal with the fictional wind.

The Wind Sanctum was blocked off by an easily-climbable boulder. Ramcoh wouldn’t fly over it because she didn’t want to go back to the Wind Sanctum. This was all a big set up for Careena to try and talk the villagers into helping them move the easily-climbable boulder. I took control of Careena in a town for the first time as she wandered around and appealed to her parents, her junior wind-dyer person, and the village chief. All of them were jerks to her and every conversation ended in an argument. I’m on Careena’s side, and not just because she’s my favourite. She had a good point every time. They all helped in the end, and Sylphid too, and the easily-climbable boulder was removed. On to the Wind Sanctum!

The route up to the Wind Sanctum was a moody, stormy, jagged mountainside. Halfway up the mountain we were attacked by a pair of mini-bosses; two giant harpies that kind of looked like Felicia from Darkstalkers but with wings. It was an enjoyable and enjoyably difficult fight, but we took them down first time. Upon reaching another magnificent and awe-inspiring peak, it was time for me to save and quit at the meridian as other responsibilities beckoned.

Session 22 – Wednesday 11th September

Let’s get an hour in before bed time. Tonight’s session kicked off with a boss fight. The Wind Benevedon was a big, winged, wolf-like creature. It was a pretty straightforward battle to be honest, fending off the big blue wolf’s windy powers. I’d say that the two harpies we fought in the previous session were more difficult. The Wind Benevedon went down and Careena’s early-game love interest character, Shiriu, was saved. He was in danger by the way. I don’t like Shiriu and I don’t care about him.

A few times now I’ve noticed the elementals being late for stuff, acting evasive, and just not showing up when needed. The fairy, too. I can’t imagine they’re going to be up to anything shady, especially the elementals (they were forces for good since the SNES games), so maybe they’re just being shown to be a bit incompetent at times, or aloof, shall we say.

Anyway, we decided to go to Illystana next, to take on the Water Benevedon, and I am forced to take back what I said earlier about the developers not rendering the inside of the palace and using story excuses to keep Val from entering. This time, we just went straight inside, and it looks very snazzy. It’s kind of a standard JRPG palace interior to be honest (I could be exploring Dohalim’s palace in Tales of Arise, for example) but it’s pretty impressive and I do notice some nice paintings of other locations dotted around the walls, like the playhouse and the Dark Archive.

We met Iain, Palamena’s brother, again, and I found myself wondering once more why he looks so wet. I didn’t make I note of it when we met him before, but it’s like the developers went overboard with the highlighting and made him look like he’s made of damp plastic. I don’t like Iain, although I do sympathise with him for his plight, being left in charge at such a young age because Palamena was the Alm and had to abdicate the throne.

Suddenly, all the water was gone! The giant orb of water above the palace, all the fountains, all dried up. This sounded like Benevedon nonsense to me, and we were sent to Luka Shrine again to deal with the problem. Illystana had a very different ambience without all that running water.

I hope the people of the city will be alright without their waterfalls for a while, though, as it was time for me to go to bed.

Session 23 – Thursday 12th September

I had less than an hour free before work this morning, but wanted to see if we could slay a Benevedon.

The “undertemple” of Luka Ruins made me feel like I was exploring a big goldfish bowl with decorative ruined buildings. Kind of like in World of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck but with less memorable music. We proceeded through until we reached a large squid monster thing that served as a mini-boss. It was another straightforward fight, and the party enjoyed some squid-related banter afterwards, with the ones who were around at the time reminiscing about the squid that attacked the Primm. That seems like so long ago now.

We did not get to slay a Benevedon during this session as there simply wasn’t the time. I saved at the next meridian after the mini-boss.

Session 24 – Thursday 12th September

A fight with a giant, humanoid crocodile started off this late night session. That’s the Water Benevedon, to you! I didn’t catch its actual name. Undine got the heck out of dodge and let the party deal with it. Seriously, are these elementals powerful or weak or what? They’re somehow helpless dweebs while still being powerful demigods at the same time. Anyway, the Water Benevedon fight was pretty straightforward. Back to Illystana!

Lots of side-quests have popped up in Illystana. Honestly, the side-quests feel very basic, kind of pointless, and flow-breaking. There are a couple that are part of a long chain, but for the most part they’re just random tasks for random, forgettable NPCs.

During the ensuing side-quest run, the party was fighting a level 54 harpy mini-boss mob (we’re currently at level 41) in the ruins on Pritta Rdige, and I accidentally fled the battle when it was down to a quarter health. It went back up to full health and I had to fight it all over again. This has happened a few times, where I’ve accidentally fled battles. To flee, you just need to run at the edge of the battlefield for long enough to fill up a small meter. Enemies are constantly getting smashed to the limits of the battlefield, so it’s a little too easy to escape by accident. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but a small annoyance.

We eventually went back to Illystana and spoke to Iain. Palamena promised she’d come back, which was interesting, because Careena told people she’d come back after the Wind Benevedon was defeated, too. Why are they doing that, eh? What about the Alm sacrifice?

Anyway, we headed off to Verdeus Borough to look for the Wood Benevedon, and it was time to hit up that meridian and go to bed.

Session 25 – Friday 13th September

A midday session today, and Trent was feeling under the weather. We headed off to speak to Aesh for horticultural advice, and this Von Boyage character is mentioned again. Who the heck is this guy? Aesh just produces a cure out of thin air, and we headed back to give it to Trent, who felt better immediately. What was the point of all that, then? Trent sent us to the Floating Isle of Ulul. That’s the last visible place on the map that we haven’t been to.

Before we headed to the physics-defying isle, we hit some of the ruins that are in the open world areas, now that we can reliably fight the level 50-54 enemies there. We were fighting the enemies in the moors area near Tatoh Temple when I started to get some glitches. Vessel moves were missing their graphical effects and certain button inputs weren’t working at certain times. I tried a restart and that seemed to sort it out.

We went to the Floating Isle after this, and it’s another trademark Visions of Mana spectacular-looking natural vista. We headed further in, searching for the Wood Benevedon that wants to plant the tree people from the Borough here for some reason. I didn’t really follow the explanation given back at Verdeus Borough, but it’s all good, I was happy being distracted by the scenery. The waterfall lake area near the top of the Isle is serene.

The Wood Benevedon appeared and it’s a very pretty peacock thing. It was as simple to fight as it was fancy – the easiest Benevedon fight yet. My reward, once back at the Borough, was to listen to Julei sing. I regret everything. Incidently, there’ll be more to do at the Floating Isle, as I went back there and tried to go further in but was turned away with an “I’ve got a bad feeling about this, let’s turn back” type message. Interesting. Optional end-game dungeon location, maybe?

Following this, we started exploring and questing again, and I experienced a total party kill on a boss version of one of those triceratops things. That was unexpected. A long session of side-questing and ruin clearing followed this, and then it came to an end. I can’t play all day, after all.

Session 26 – Friday 13th September

Time for a quick bedtime session, and I got that glitch again where the vessel attack effects wouldn’t show up while fighting through ruins. A restart fixed it once again.

We hit the side-quests, and did every ruin. There are ruins in many of the open world areas with boss versions of normal monsters in them. Each one hid a powerful weapon for one of the characters. There was also a side-quest to explore and defeat the boss monster in every ruin, so I was glad to get it done.

Eventually, we went to Etaern (the place with the sandglass that Morley broke) to chase down the Moon Benevedon. Everyone was acting weird in Etaern, including Meelpa, the guy who gave us the big dogs. The party decided to go to an inn to rest, and it was very weird being inside a building as so far no buildings (except for Palamena’s palace) have allowed us to go inside. Careena, Palamena and Julei were also acting weird, and it was quite amusing. Palamena and Julei were especially funny with their chuckle-inducing mood swings. There is a reason that Val and Morely weren’t affected, but I didn’t catch it. Sorry. We, along with Luna, the Moon Elemental, decided that we needed to go to the nearby castle to sort all this nonsense out.

The castle had a time vortex thing going on, with some cool visual effects in the areas where you can see into a different era of the castle. When we were in the past, the music had a weird effect put over it that made it sound really creepy, like a distorted, slowed-down record player. It made me feel quite unsettled. Luckily, there’s some really good banter throughout this dungeon to lighten the mood, with Morley proving to be an amusing straight man to the madness of the three moon-affected loonies.

There was an interesting mini-boss fight against a vampire – a very bat-like humanoid just like the vampire boss in Secret of Mana. I felt like this boss would’ve been really tough if I’d chosen to go through Etaern first. It even healed itself by apparently sucking our blood! The Moon Benevedon – a large frog/chameleon type creature – was fought soon afterwards. This was another cool fight, with the creature summoning time spheres to slow us down, and its design was pleasingly strange. It reminded me of a Slaan from Warhammer crossed with Hypnotoad.

The ghost of an ancient king of Etaern showed up after the fight, and seemed to hint towards a quest for us for after Dale is defeated, which is interesting. Something about retrieving the powerful core from the sandglass to stop it from falling into the wrong hands. The ghost king also mentions that it wasn’t actually Morley who broke the sandglass. An apparition of Morley’s mum also appears, and she and Morley have an emotional (but not overdone) moment, and our favourite cat-man gets a bit of closure. As we returned to town, Morley said to the Meelpa fellow that he’ll help rebuild Etaern. Obviously he’s planning not to sacrifice himself as the Alm, either.

With all that out of the way, we hear that the Fire Benevedon is stirring, and the game transports us to Val’s village. That volcano in the background is looking very angry. Time for bed though. I’m tired and not taking it all in properly.

Session 27 – Saturday 14th September

My only session of the day starts with a bit of chatting with the people of Tianeea, the fire village. Hinna’s parents aren’t around, however.

The volcano dungeon is what you’d expect a volcano dungeon to be. Lava and fiery enemies with an angry volcano dominating the skyline. It’s a cool area, and there’s an awesome, moody, fiery skybox. The AI party members kept falling into the lava here, taking damage and getting the burning status affect so that they’re constantly running around with minimal health. There’s no point healing them because they’ll just jump into the fire again. Idiots. Luckily, the mobs are easy. The mini-boss, which was a flaming interpretation of the Axe Beak, the stupidest boss from Secret of Mana, was also easy.

The Fire Benevedon, a big lava ape, was even easier. It felt like the most simple boss yet. Are we over-levelled?

Anyway, we headed back to Tianeea after this and Val finally told Hinna’s parents about their daughter’s fate. I didn’t really understand all this, as Hinna’s parents were apparently happy with her going off to be a sacrifice anyway. I guess that’s just the way they see things here in Mana Land. These people are weird. Val finds out that Hinna left him a secret letter assuming that she’d fulfil her role as the Alm and he’d head back to Tianeea. He reads it and it’s very poignant. With all the Benevedons soundly beaten, we’re heading to the Dark Archive to pick up Aesh.

We undertook an entertaining side-quest here, in which Aesh took us back to the Passagean Tomespire to ask the party about their backgrounds in order to choose a book for them to read. I quite like Aesh now, his interactions with the party are amusing.

Our next destination was the Entwine Bridgepass. I knew there’d be a fight there eventually, and sure enough, a very picturesque battle with a somewhat mutated-looking Dale ensued. After getting him down to about a quarter health, he broke the Mana Sword and further mutated into a scarier form for part two of the encounter. This form of Dale fired NieR: Automata-style bullet hell attacks, but he didn’t regain his health, so we finished him off pretty quickly. He went for an all-out explosion attack but the elementals all turned up and saved us, and Dale scampered off again. Val picked up the broken Mana Sword, and we chased Dale to the Mana Sanctuary.

The Mana Sanctuary was all purple and cursed. We went in, and there were more time distortions here, Etaern-style. We ran into previous Alms and Soul Guards from previous years, and I found myself hoping we’d see something from Trials of Mana or Secret of Mana. I just want a bit of fan-service! That’s all!

It’s quickly revealed that it’s not just the Mana Sanctuary we’re going to be exploring a purple version of, as we get transported to purple versions of other areas, too. One area is where we fought the Mantis Ant all that time ago, and there is a huge windmill there. We head to the windmill’s door and someone says something about something in there being “too strong”. What the heck is in the distorted, purple windmill, eh? We have to fight another plant boss in a large, open, icy area next, and then a tougher Mantis Ant boss in a purple version of the Deade Cliffs area. There hasn’t been a meridian in ages, and it’s getting late.

The party starts to see the past version of Dale after this and, you know, it really was kind of mean of the Mana Goddess to send him off to fight the Benevedons all by himself. There’s definitely more to all this. We finally find a meridian in purple Luka Ruins, and I put an end to an eventful session. It really feels like I’m getting close to the end now.

Session 28 – Sunday 15th September

We’re picking things back up in the Distorted Sanctuary for this Sunday morning session, and we walked straight into the return of the squid-like creature from the Luka Ruins. This fight felt a little less straightforward than his previous appearance, as he seemed to be hounding my character relentlessly the entire time.

After this, a time echo of Dale from the past revealed that Cerulia was killed by a human thief. I mean, I can understand why he’d be upset, but bringing a whole world to ruin? A fight against two giant golems followed, and this journey through the Distorted Sanctuary really started to feel like a bit of a boss rush, albeit one that was interrupted by normal fights and exposition. A fight against an illusory Trent is the final test here. I did not expect to be fighting the big, helpful tree guy, but he goes down just like all the others.

A quick visit with a past version of Khoda reveals that he was in love with the Mana Goddess. That’s four pivotal male characters (Khoda, Val, Eoren, and Dale) who are suffering from lost loves. I’m beginning to sense a theme. After traversing the last part of the sanctuary that leads to the tree, we’re informed in no uncertain terms that this is the point of no return. I was tempted to run straight in, but I decided to go and smash some side-quests.

Every time we handed in a side-quest I was worried that more would show up, but we didn’t actually pick up any more quests in this run (well, apart from that one bloke in Wendel Temple banging on about some earrings, but he was inside the place where his quest was and we were already there for something else), and we managed to get them all handed in, emptying the side-quest log. I’m sure there are more, but we’d been to most of the main population areas recently and I didn’t seen any exclamation marks, so I decided to draw a line under the side-quests for now.

There are things called Elemental Aeries, which I haven’t mentioned yet at all. They’re basically timed fights that can be accessed around the world by activating altars with the right elemental power. From what I currently understand, once you’ve beaten all of the ones of a certain element it opens up the challenge in the large elemental tower for that element, which are these huge, mysterious towers that are seen all over the place. I didn’t really bother with these, as the few I attempted didn’t seem to have super-important rewards and they just felt like something else to break the flow of the campaign. I could have tried to clear these up before I went after Dale for the (seemingly) final time, but I decided not to bother.

There are also at least two other areas that I haven’t explored yet that I know of – namely the giant windmill in the distorted area, and the section of the Floating Isle that the party was turned away from. If meeting Dale in the Mana Sanctuary truly is going to be the final boss, then it looks like these two things are post-game content. I’ll have to find out another time, as this session has come to an end.

Session 29 – Sunday 15th September

I thought I’d have a last look at the Floating Isle and the mysterious windmill area at the start of this session, and found one more side-quest at the windmill (but no mention of a strong monster, meaning that only the distorted windmill seems to contain an entity). I then went to Etaern and found a whole bunch of side-quests! I must admit that I was not happy about this. Some more Flammie-based jet-setting ensued as Val and the team mopped them up, and then it was time to go and say hello to Dale.

When we found Dale in front of the Mana Tree, he was looking pretty tree-like himself, and seemed to have completely lost his marbles. He thought that Val was Khoda and seemed to have completely slipped into insanity. Before the inevitable battle he morphed and grew into a huge, elemental, demonic Ent. Very intimidating. Also there was rock music. Very invigorating. Almost instantly we were handed a total party kill because I forgot to shuffle my party around to include … you know, healing. A quick reload, and it was time to go again!

The final battle was suitably spectacular with the Mana Tree in the background, the reflections in the shallow water that the fight takes place in and the colourful lighting effects and crazy attacks popping off everywhere. His health was being chipped down rather slowly, and then he took a second form when about half of his health bar was spent, which grew extra arms and introduced some more attacks. There was something going on with his arms cycling through different elements, but I wasn’t paying too much attention to it and was just concentrating on wailing on him while trying to keep everyone healed.

Once we finally got him beat, he still managed to incapacitate everyone in a cutscene explosion attack. However, some JRPG stuff happened, and the party was revitalised by the wishes of the people that the Alms represent. Or something. More importantly, Eoren and Lyza showed up, the Mana Sword was magically reforged, and Hinna’s hand came from off-screen, touching and guiding Val’s arm, almost exactly like Egon Spengler at the end of Ghostbusters: Afterlife. That scene made me sad and also I didn’t like that movie, but this was fine. Val slashed demon Dale with the Mana Sword, and the bad guy was toast. Eoren, Lyza and Hinna disappeared into a cloud of pretty lights.

The Mana Goddess appeared next and said some stuff, along with Cerulia, Dale’s lost love, and then Cerulia and Dale got whisked off into the afterlife together. Khoda then says some stuff before fading away too, and Val, as the hero with the Mana Sword, must now choose whether to keep things as they are or change the world. Val says “the future I choose is…” and then we cut to credits. The credits show some still images of the characters as they live their lives, often hanging out with the elementals. I mean, I assume Val chose to end the Alm sacrifices? Khoda and the Mana Goddess did warn that both choices could have far-reaching consequences, but that’s life, isn’t it.

There’s a post credits scene were “Grandpa Val” dies of old age and returns to the Mana Tree as a young lad again. He sees Khoda, and then reunites with Hinna (who seems to have merged with the Mana Goddess). If Val’s a grandpa, doesn’t that mean he moved on from Hinna? Maybe the unidentified people around his death bed just called him grandpa because he’s old. Either way, I’m sure Hinna would have wanted him to live his life to the fullest. He deserves it. Also, this is explicitly the afterlife, so they really didn’t bring Hinna back to life. I’m impressed.

A New Game + and an Expert Mode is unlocked, as well as an extra chapter if I load up my completed save file. I might hit the extra chapter at some point, but the New Game + and Expert Mode are for players more dedicated than I.

Well, what a journey through a game that could at times look and feel like a low budget JRPG with annoying voice acting, and could at other times feel like a visually stunning journey through an awesomely realised world with likeable characters, amusing banter, and some spectacular and memorable moments.

Visions of Mana was at its best when it was building up to that first trip to the Mana Sanctuary, and the first encounter with the Mana Tree. It really felt epic and important, and the visuals in and around the Mana Sanctuary were stunningly beautiful. Some other highlights include the first trip through the physics-defying halls of the Passagean Tomespire and the occasionally creepy jaunt through the past and present versions of the castle near Etaern.

The combat was rarely taxing, but never outstayed its welcome, and once I’d settled into mostly controlling Careena and flipping between the fire and earth vessels depending on the current enemy, I was having a good time. The side-quests were very basic and tended to hamper the flow, but could usually be dealt with pretty quickly. The music, while never as memorable as Secret of Mana’s, was really good throughout and the voice-acting, despite my earlier misgivings, was usually fine.

There’s more to do, but I’m going to take a break now and play something different. I’ll recommend Visions of Mana. It’s the JRPG genre at its comfiest, with some legitimately great moments and positives that greatly outweigh the negatives. There were traces of that intangible Secret of Mana magic here and there, and I doubt I’ll forget Val and pals in a hurry.

I’ll definitely never forget that Von Boyage character. What a guy.

Metroid Prime Remastered – Game Diary

Session 1 – Friday 9th August

I’d been thinking about starting Metroid Prime Remastered all day, but didn’t get around to it until returning home from a meal at the Admiral Hood pub in Mosterton. I was extremely full. The burger wasn’t especially large but the cheese in it was overwhelming to the point that I could feel it slithering through my veins and coagulating around my heart more and more after every bite. I added garlic mushrooms, too. They really add something special to a burger, you know?

Anyway, Metroid Prime Remastered was started on the evening of Friday 9th August. Things kicked off on a space station platform with a simple tutorial section, and then I directed Samus inside. I was really digging the atmosphere once we got to poking around the damaged hallways and science rooms. There’s nothing quite like seeing insectoid aliens in specimen tanks and dead critters scattered about the place before you get a chance to interact with the live ones.

It took most of this bout of space station exploration to get to grips with the scanning and firing mechanics, as I kept pressing the wrong trigger and trying to scan space pirates (which does give a bit of information) or blasting switches and info panels (which doesn’t achieve anything). Eventually, Samus and I faced off against a parasite queen and finished her off by blasting her through the gaps in a rotating light shield. The parasite queen fell down into some kind of reactor, which caused an explosion that started off a tense escape sequence, during which we were almost overwhelmed by the swarms of bugs in the tubes, and Samus lost all of her upgraded suit powers. We made it outside though, after freeing a pterodactyl-like creature that I know (just from general video game culture absorption) to be called Ridley, and Samus got to her super-cool ship and made planetfall.

I enjoyed exploring the opening areas of the planet (whose name I didn’t catch) and eventually made my way to the Chozo Ruins. Now, I know a bit about these Chozo fellows thanks to finishing Metroid Dread, the only other Metroid game I’ve played, but I must admit I wasn’t digging the atmosphere here as much as during the opening. For those not in the know; this area has a “desert ruins” vibe.

I found the missile and the ball upgrades, and then had a fight with an armoured bug, during which I could’ve sworn I saw a spooky face appear for a split second on the screen. After further investigation, it seems that Samus’ face reflects on the visor if an explosion goes off close enough to her helmet. A cool touch that initially made me think my TV was haunted.

Anyway, I found lots of places that I didn’t have the equipment to interact with yet, like a super-heated room and some half-pipe-looking things that seem to require a ball boost. Not long after fending off a horde of War Wasps summoned by a big, beaky, three-faced Chozo machine, I found a save room and called it a night.

Session 2 – Saturday 10th August

Session two was a handheld session because the family were playing loud music in the living room, but the earbud experience might have actually boosted the immersion a bit. If my eyesight wasn’t so shot handheld would possibly be my chosen way to play.

Samus and I continued our traversal through the Chozo Ruins, and I realised that the map screen is very interesting, again probably thanks to playing in handheld. It feels really sci-fi scrolling and rotating the 3D map. Oh, and the planet is called Tallon IV. Some ancient Chozo scriptures reminded me.

Anyway, the music is pretty cool in this area. I found the Charge Beam near a room filled with toxic fluid. I thought I’d accidentally let Samus die in the danger water but it turns out she had an extra health bar. I didn’t realise this until I found another health boost later on and saw that it adds 100 health. That is a not insubstantial health boost. There’s no chance I’ll ever let Samus die to anything now. That was foreshadowing.

Oh, and the constant low health alarm coupled with Samus’ laboured breathing is a bit much. I was desperately looking for bugs to shoot so that I could get a health pick-up and some peace and quiet.

We fought a wasp hive with a flamethrower drone underneath it. This drone was spewing fire at Samus and at the hive, agitating the wasps so that they came after Samus. Doesn’t seem fair. Beating that thing gave us bombs to use when Samus is rolled up into a ball, which also lets her hop around in ball form, opening up lots of new areas. We used these newfound traversal abilities to get some more missile capacity upgrades.

Eventually we made it to a big, flowery bug boss, and it was going pretty well early on, but then I couldn’t figure out how to get underneath the boss after I’d shot all the light-reflecting mirror things, and Samus was killed. Oh well, so much for all that health. The explosion and subsequent mini cut-scene with Samus’ shattered helmet was a bit intense.

I was too hot and sweaty to continue, so I decided to come back to it another time.

Session 3 – Saturday 10th August (evening)

I enjoyed this Metroid Prime Remastered session while also enjoying Co-Op smooth and creamy toffees. Encouraged by the sticky, sugary goodness, Samus and I killed the big flower thing. Third time lucky. I figured out what to do the second time around (turns out the boss was knocking the mirrors back into place and I didn’t notice), but had lost some health by falling into the toxic fluid in the previous room. Nailed it third time, and earned an armour upgrade in the shape of some meatier shoulder pads. They call it the Varia Suit, here on Talon IV. Beating this creature also made all the water turn nice, so I let Samus splash around a bit before moving on to the next distinct area.

This next area was called Magmoor Caverns, according to the elevator down to it. Magmoor sounds like magma, and I just got the heat resistant suit. It’s all adding up. I’m not usually a fan of lava areas in games, but we’ll see how it goes. The ominous chanting in the soundtrack as Samus started exploring the red-tinted caves gave a decent idea as to what’s to come.

Early on in the Magmoor Caverns I got Samus to scan a creature called a Grizby, and the game told me I’d filled 25% of my log book. Nice.

Anyway, sure enough, there was lots of lava deeper in. I did actually let Samus die again as we fell off an intricate ball-rolling area and couldn’t get out of the red stuff in time. I almost gave up for the night as the save point was miles away, but stuck with it. I got through that area on the second try and found an elevator to a different part of the overworld, before happening upon Samus’ ship again. It’s a save point, so I used it, and that was enough for this session.

Session 4 – Sunday 11th August

I found a snowy area. Something Drifts. Where’s the lava boss? I was expecting a lava boss, but I guess I got swerved. Anyway, the snow underfoot doesn’t show Samus’ footprints. Always disappointing.

I kinda like this area, but the little fellas with ice armour and ice breath are pricks. I sure hope there’s not a massive version of them that I have to fight later. That was foreshadowing.

Anyway, I finally got the boost ball.

Samus and me got a bit lost after this, and while we were wandering the computerised voice that gives us map hints sent us to the overworld, where Samus used a half-pipe to get a double jump upgrade! We did some more exploring and found an Impact Crater (I guess this is where the poison meteorite spoken of in the Chozo texts hit). This was a pretty cool area, and I liked the enclosed glass walkways. The area with all the artefact statues reminded me of an area in Halo 2. Also, from what I read in the Chozo texts, I’m not sure we should be collecting these artefacts. Won’t it unleash the poison? Gotta do what the game tells me, I guess.

Anyway, Samus and I did lots more exploring with the new ball boosters and double jump, and ended up back in the icy locale. We found an area with a power-up that was spirited away before Samus could pick it up, and we had to fight a small swarm of the aforementioned ice armour critters. Then we had to fight a massive one, but it got the better of us. Samus death number five. I hadn’t saved for ages. That one stung. Time to call it a day.

Session 5 – Friday 16th August

Time to fully discover how much my save point carelessness set me back last session. I had to rediscover the Impact Crater, re-find the artefact in the Magmoor Caverns, and re-get to the icy bit with the massive creature. Luckily, this time I remembered to visit the save point in the large, external icy area. The house-sized monster (a sheegoth) was still a prick to fight, though. I actually paused when Samus’ health got low to have a quick Google search and make sure I was going about the fight in the right way. I don’t feel guilty about this, because I don’t think the game was very good at indicating that I was doing damage. The sheegoth just went kind of purple for a moment and moved its head a bit. It turns out I was on the right track, though, and finally Samus and I squashed the big, icy bastard with around ten health left. An annoying fight.

Anyway, this gave Samus the Wave Beam, which lets her open purple doors and opens up new combat options, and enables her to kill those energy orbs that we had to run around previously. Not long after this, Samus and I found the Super Missile, but I couldn’t remember the controls to activate it so never actually used it.

After exploring some laboratories and finally encountering a titular metroid, I found another area that annoyed me. A visible missile upgrade lay at the end of a suspended length of metal grating that Samus had to roll over in ball form, and the camera angle kept changing, which changed the directional inputs along with it. I fell off a few too many times.

Not long later, Samus located the Thermal Visor (and I earned a pop-up stating I’d found 25% of items) and this was followed by a legitimately intense and elongated lights out section, where the visor was very much required. I also wasn’t sure if I was going the right way because there was a door Samus couldn’t open and I was aware of the possibility that it might have required the Super Missile thing, but there were new enemies and encounters on the way back, so we kept going. Eventually, Samus and I made it outside, and made our way all the way back to the overworld. I was keeping an eye on the map, looking for purple doors that we could open, but called it a day when we reached Samus’ ship again.

Still, progress was made, and that’s important.

Session 6 – Sunday 18th August

The search for purple doors!

Well, not really – we found a couple of missile upgrades (one of which we’d found already before the whole dying-to-the-sheegoth-without-saving incident) and then the map app bleeped and told us to go to the chilly area. You know, So-and-So Drifts.

At this point, I was forced to learn how to shoot Super Missiles to get through a certain door. I guess it had to happen eventually. We ended up in a big arena and fought an enormous rock monster. It was a bit of a pain in the arse because we ran out of missiles, but Samus got the big stony bastard first try. Her reward was the Spider Ball, which I was correct to assume was for the magnetic tracks.

Samus and I zipped around and found some areas where the Spider Ball was useful, and eventually came to a pillar-smashing set piece in the Chozo Ruins that needed 60 missiles to complete, and it spawned enemies that you could only kill with missiles and also had other enemies that deflected your missiles patrolling around the areas you had to hit with the missiles. We had to keep going back to a nearby corridor to farm missile ammo drops off of the little Metapod-looking things.

Anyway, we managed to solve it and the Wavebuster weapon was our reward.

Later, we found a room where a Chozo Ghost attacked us, and I found this fight to be very long and tough, because I misread the word “invulnerable” as “vulnerable” in the scan data and continuously attacked it with something it was immune to. Once I realised my mistake, Samus took it out pretty quickly.

Next was a half-pipe room with toad enemies in it, which led to the Ice Beam, which opened up lots more areas for us to explore. One such area was the inside of the big, crashed research ship on the overworld, which is mostly waterlogged. Samus and I were exploring this lovely, submerged area with its atmospheric, beautiful music and its Subnautica vibe, when I realised how late it was. Luckily, there was a save point deep inside, and I called it a night.

Samus will be alright standing around underwater until next time, right?

Session 7 – Wednesday 21st August

So, we had to turn back pretty much straight away. The very next room in the waterlogged vessel had a section that required a suit upgrade to progress. At least we found a nice Health Booster in there. This would be important later. Anyway, it looks like Samus and I have to go to What’s-its-Name Drifts next. Which elevator was that?

We found our way to a watery area in the Drifts, and I did not like being forced to go into an underwater tentacle nest with next to zero visibility. Samus took it like a pro, though, and we soon found her swimsuit! It’s more respectably known as the Gravity Suit, which would allow Samus to move unimpeded through water, and gives a visibility boost underwater too. It also gave Samus’ armour and visor a fetching blue tint.

We headed back to the submerged parts of the research vessel and made some progress, getting through lots of rooms with fiddly, tentacle-impeded platforming and using the heat vision visor to find power conduits for locked doors. At the end of all this was an elevator to the Phazon Mines. The “intense radiation” warning was ominous.

I quite like the Phazon Mines. The rock walls and metal walkways remind me of the queue areas in Disney World. Maybe it’s Nintendo’s trademark colourful take on gritty sci-fi. Anyway, unlike the Disney queue areas, it turns out you can shoot the pipes to get through blocked off areas.

We partially solved a Krypton Factor-style puzzle with different coloured ball tracks and reached an elevator to another area of the mines. Samus was doing fine, but I was flagging at this point, and was looking for a save point. Instead of a save point we found a gigantic elite pirate. We put him down and had lots of other fights across various complex rooms with variously-equipped pirates and no save point in sight. Eventually, we had to fight a very nasty invisible thing that Samus couldn’t scan or even lock onto. I was determined not to lose all of our progress, but things got pretty close. We beat it with 35 health left (told you that Health Booster would be important), but even that wasn’t the end. We had to do an electrified ball maze to get the bomb upgrade, and Samus’ health bar took a few more zaps before the end.

Luckily, the next room had a save point, and it was both literally and figuratively a light at the end of a tunnel. Session over.

Session 8 – Thursday 22nd August

Another handheld session today, and Samus and I went straight to exploding some rubble in the way of doors with the newly-acquired Power Bombs. We quickly learned that they have limited ammunition. How unnecessary! Anyway, we backtracked and found the map room, but every route forward seemed to take us through pure, sparkly blue, health-draining Phazon, so it was a bit of a no go.

I was finding the mines difficult to navigate in handheld mode. The map hint system was sending us back to the surface but then shortly after gave me a hint for a different room in the mine. It would later become apparent that this was the Krypton Factor room, but I couldn’t remember that room at the time and I was getting somewhat perplexed. There were lots of enemies too, including another gigantic Elite Pirate, and a bunch of different pirate types that forced constant beam changes.

Anyway, Samus and I were finally able to complete the Krypton Factor room thanks to the Power Bombs, and this led us to the Grapple Beam. Finally! That should open a few new routes. After fiddling about in the first large Phazon Mines room with the crane and getting nowhere, we headed back to the overworld for some grappling.

Almost immediately, the X-Ray Visor was located, and then we took a jaunt to the Chozo Ruins to find an artefact in the arena-looking area. We quickly made our way back to Samus’ ship after that, and I chose to call it a night. Playing Metroid Prime Remastered in handheld is not good for my demeanour.

Session 9 – Saturday 24th August

We kicked off today’s session by heading back to the Magmoor Caverns. I’ve realised the music here kind of feels like it could be in a Zelda game. Maybe in some kind of Goron settlement or something. The music just doesn’t feel all that sci-fi to me – it feels better-suited to a volcano dungeon or maybe a gigantic Dwarven forge town.

Anyway, Samus and I found the Plasma Beam after a particularly painful section in which Samus had to roll around on the walls with lots of lava below. It took us a while and a few tries to get to the top of this room, but I got a sense of accomplishment and the Plasma Beam is super powerful and fun to shoot things with, so it was totally worth it.

Except, we had to do the whole thing again because Samus fell into the Phazon after being attacked by a shitload of pirate troopers with different beam immunities while at fairly low health thanks to the repeated dips into the lava due to the aforementioned wall-based ball-rolling. Samus death number six.

After doing it all again and surviving the tricky room that claimed us last time, Samus and I explored the Phazon Mines a bit more, looking for places to swing with the Grapple Beam and red doors to bust with the Plasma Beam, but we ended up making our way to the Magmoor Caverns again and found a Power Bomb ammo upgrade, with the game informing me that Samus had found 50% of items.

I had to stop at this point to dispose of a giant spider that I spotted on the wall near the TV. I used a mug and a coaster. This harrowing experience will definitely negatively affect how I view Metroid Prime Remastered. Shame on you, Nintendo.

Back to the game, and back to the overworld, because I remembered seeing a red door on the map there. Samus jumped across some invisible platforms and found a missile ammo upgrade. Still no actual game progress, then. Luckily, the map hint system piped up once more and directed us back to the Phazon Mines. Looks like we missed something.

Sure enough, it was invisible platforms again. So the game let me find the invisible platforms in the overworld that are highlighted by rain falling on them before requiring me to find the ones in the Phazon Mines that have no visual clue that they’re there unless you use the X-Ray Visor. Is that good game design? Or are invisible platforms just bullshit? I’ll let the cosmos decide.

Anyway, not long after this invisible platform room I got Samus killed again after being careless in a rolling section with lots of Phazon spread around. I’d saved not long ago, so we decided to call it a night. Seven deaths in nine sessions. That sounds like a positive to me.

Session 10 – Tuesday 27th August

Back to the mines. I directed Samus through some very aggravating platforming from glowing mushroom to glowing mushroom over radioactive goop while trying to grapple onto a stupid flying creature of some kind. Luckily, we found a save point in one such room. Or at least, I thought we did. Turned out it was just a missile recharge machine. What the heck? There isn’t even anything nearby that needs a lot of missiles! What a dupe.

Unless the missiles were for the boss, maybe, but that was quite a few rooms away.

Anyway, I saw an artefact in a hole and tried to tank the Phazon damage to get it and Samus died again. That’s eight deaths. Definitely need Phazon immunity to get that particular shiny.

Next stop, the Omega Pirate. This thing was tough, but at least it was kind of clear what to do. Knowing what I had to shoot at didn’t stop me from getting Samus killed again, though. Twice. Yep, that’s ten untimely demises. Is this a decent average or am I absolutely pants at Metroid Prime Remastered? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that. We got the big jerk the third time anyway, and Samus was looking super cool in her sleek, black Phazon Suit that dropped from its radioactive corpse. With Phazon damage a thing of the past, we went back to get the artefact, but then got assailed by metroids painted all the hues of the rainbow.

These things were really annoying. They tended to get right up in your face no matter what, and switching between weapons and then getting head-slurped by the one you’re not equipped to deal with and having to morph and drop a bomb and then repeat multiple times was a pain in the ass. I did not like the rainbow metroids, and wanted to leave the Phazon Mines behind for good at this point.

Samus and I eventually managed to get the heck out, leaving a couple of mysteries unsolved that I was aware of (namely the unpowered crane in the first large room, and a red door behind a forcefield in the corridors with the destructible pipes across them). We then headed back to the overworld, as the map hint told us to get our asses back to the Impact Crater.

What will we find? Well, I’ll find out next time. Time for bed, and all that.

Session 11 – Thursday 29th August

To the place where the artefacts are!

Upon arriving at the artefact place, Samus and I found that the other clues were available, so we went on a little artefact hunt. Also, I noticed that you can really see Samus’ face better through the visor of the Phazon Suit. Am I imagining that? I just feel like her eyes are more visible. Anyway, we headed to the Chozo Ruins first, and picked up an artefact in the room once occupied by the flower boss.

On to Magmoor Caverns. Samus and I found an artefact in the lava lake, and then headed back to the Chozo Ruins and got the artefact gizmo below the Chozo statue in the Hall of Elders, then it was time to go to What-the-Heck Drifts again. We found an extremely cheekily hidden artefact doodah at the top of the tall cave in the drifts, and then found another artefact doohickey under an icy Chozo statue. Then we came to a bit of a grinding halt.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to get the other Drifts artefact. The clue mentions a tower to collapse, but there are two areas named “tower” on the map, situated very close together, and I couldn’t find any way to collapse either of them, and couldn’t find anything of note in the room that connects them. It also didn’t feel like there was anything hidden there. A bit of gamer’s intuition, you know? Still, there must be something somewhere.

Aside from that one, the last artefact is hidden in the Phazon Mines and seems like it’ll require another fight against another big boy pirate. I couldn’t be done with that tonight either, so Samus and I decided to save the game and call it a night.

Session 12 – Friday 30th August

This one was likely to be a shorter session, because I had plans coming up. I thought I’d see if I could find at least one more artefact, though.

Samus and I travelled back through the Phazon Mines and got said artefact from another oversized, elite jerk. This just left the artefact in the Drifts of Whatever, the one that refers to the “tower”, and I thought I’d have a go because we got the first artefact so quickly. We trotted back to the Drifts and made our way back to the towers area (and I now saw that three areas in the map are named “tower”, because of the Control Tower between the East and West Towers), but I still couldn’t work out what to do. I felt like I’d hit a bit of a dead end. No fake walls. No mysterious things I could scan. Nothing.

So, is it still cheating if your wife looks up the solution on her phone instead of you? At first I just asked her to check if I was in the right place, because I at least wanted to know that, but this progressed to her basically telling me the solution. I was supposed to look out of the window in the East Tower (the window area doesn’t even seem to be a proper place, it just kind of feels like it’s out of bounds) and melt some ice and then explode some fuel tanks attached to another tower in the background with a missile. Apparently, I’d already melted the ice in my past searches through these accursed towers, because I only needed to fire the missile. Tower toppled. Final artefact claimed.

Look, I’m a grown adult with plans and responsibilities. I can’t be pissing about chasing some vague clue about towers. Additionally, in my defence, that was quite an obscure solution that doesn’t really fit with any of the other methods I’d used to find hidden areas in other parts of the game, and the tower you have to topple isn’t on the map and just seems like some background dressing. I think I’d gotten to the point where it was look it up or play something else.

So we went back to the artefact place (saving at Samus’ ship on the way, of course) and Samus got killed by Meta Ridley when he had but a smidgen of health left. My eyes are tired. My plans were looming. I’ll pick it up from that ship save next time.

Session 13 – Friday 30th August

Plans done (we had some some people round for a board game evening), and I settled in for session 13! Samus and I swatted Ridley pretty easily this second time around, and the bird-like Chozo statues surrounding the arena finished him off with red lasers. Kill-stealers. A pillar of light appeared after that fight which I thought might give Samus another power-up, but it zapped us into the Impact Crater instead.

Two rooms later, and we’d found the most annoying room in the game. An elongated, drawn-out platforming section during which Samus is constantly being harried by endlessly respawning Rainbow Metroids. Really, Nintendo? That room can get directly into the space bin. To add insult to injury, it was located between the last save point and the final boss!

Speaking of which; here comes Metroid Prime! I like the title drop. The first stage of the boss was a giant, armoured spider-looking thing. It was quite cinematic, the way it kept retreating deeper underground. It was fiddly but doable, and then the second stage – a floating, squid-like thing with a vaguely human face and a sparkly, translucent body that put me in the mind of Subnautica’s Ghost Leviathans – got pretty overwhelming pretty quickly. Samus was killed. Death number twelve, and we have to negotiate the platformer room with the walls that look like teeth and the endlessly respawning multicoloured bastards again. I’m going to spoil it now, though; this was the last time Samus would fall in battle.

We went in for attempt number two with cool heads and steady trigger fingers, and beat the first stage with health to spare. We took our time in the second stage, harvested the summoned adds for health pick-ups, and used the power bombs when Metroid Prime – Ghost Edition started summoning those horrible multicoloured metroids. After a fraught final few moments, Samus came out on top, and the final boss exploded.

I was expecting a third boss stage, but there was none. I was then expecting a playable escape sequence, but there was none. Just some end credits and a lot of relief. Metroid Prime Remastered: complete.

I didn’t find all the items (I think my final completion percentage was 68), but I’m happy, and can now file this in my completed Switch games pile along with Metroid Dread. Incidentally, I think that was the better game. The bosses in that game were harder, and it took me more tries to get past most of them, but I enjoyed the process of learning the patterns more, whereas in Metroid Prime Remastered I wasn’t always clear with what I was doing, and often found myself just blasting away and tanking damage.

Metroid Prime Remastered certainly had some pain in the ass moments, and wasn’t exactly a stress-free gaming experience, but I definitely enjoyed it, and vibed with the atmosphere for the most part. I’m definitely not finished with this series, and will be looking forward to the next instalment. I’m glad I staved off that cheeseburger-induced heart attack for long enough to see it through. That’s a call back to session one, by the way.

Oh, and completing the game unlocked Hard Mode. I’m alright, thanks. Trying to avoid a heart attack, remember?

Terra Nil

The Power Is Yours

Visually resplendent eco-strategy Terra Nil kicks things off with a dry and infertile patch of land and a limited selection of high-tech equipment, and tasks players with creating thriving and varied ecosystems through both natural and artificial means. Wind turbines power soil scrubbers, and specialist buildings distribute grasslands, fynbos (which is a new word I learned that seems to refer to a biome found specifically in South Africa), and forests across the healing land.

The multiple rivers criss-crossing those woods are the result of me trying to attract beavers.

Matters are complicated by certain factors like soil fertility and humidity levels, and would-be terraformers are tasked with figuring out how to achieve specific conditions in order for specific biome types to flourish. For example, temperate forests need ashy soil, which requires the use of a special building to start and manage a fire. Once the inferno has done its job, lush pine forests can spring up from the ashes, and once those are established, you might be lucky enough to spot a bear or two beneath the canopy.

The ultimate goal of Terra Nil is to achieve full, natural reformation over four distinct environments, cause animals to return, and achieve various environmental goals that will cause beneficial effects such as rains returning or ferns growing along the sides of rivers. The reward for all this is the ability to watch adorable, cel-shaded critters explore your picturesque islands and valleys as you sit back and celebrate a job well done.

The island maps give you the chance to create beaches, reefs and rainforests. If you’re lucky you might even see some jellyfish.

Terra Nil’s visuals do a decent job of portraying nature at its most vibrant, while still maintaining a simple, grid-based style. As you progress through the building tiers your small patch of land will become rich with meandering rivers, lush wetlands, and flowering meadows. Later environments offer island rain forests, rocky, lichen-covered tundra and even reclaimed cities as rewards, and each environment type has a second map where you’ll have to figure out how to achieve the same eco-miracles using a different set of buildings and equipment.

The game’s goals and blocky visual style actually remind me of an extremely obscure, Japanese environment-’em-up that I picked up, tried, and traded in many years ago, named Birthdays The Beginning. That particular effort failed to grab me thanks to some obtuse gameplay and strict campaign rules. Terra Nil undoubtedly does a better job of easing you in and then making you feel comfortable for your stay, but currently falls down a bit in one of the areas where Birthdays actually excelled – its wealth of content.

Sometimes you have to make things worse before you make them better.

As mentioned, Terra Nil offers four environment types with two maps each. Each environment has a handful of challenges based on humidity and temperature that unlock various effects, and six animal species that can be introduced, and that’s it. Once you’ve ticked all these boxes your only reason for continued play is to redo the various map types and see if you can achieve your goals in different ways.

I’d love a huge map that I can just take my time with, terraforming as I see fit and finding ways to overcome challenges offered by the terrain. I’d also like more animals to introduce, with some requiring extremely specific conditions that require a lot of work, making them all the more rewarding. I want these things because Terra Nil is really, really good, but a little too short. It’s a great game to pass some time with, and even with its after-the-end setting and global climate crisis message, it has a peaceful and uplifting vibe. It gives you time to think, and rewards your strategic building placement with instant swathes of colourful flora.

There’s nothing like some ideal lichen to warm you up on a cold day.

The highlight of the game, though, is the way each scenario ends. Once every building is placed and the desired utopia is achieved, the final step is to remove and recycle every trace of technology. Strategic use of terrain is required to place recycling buildings around the map, and then a recycling drone or hovercraft will start the hugely satisfying process of gradually removing any sign that you were ever there at all. Once the last building has been removed, your quadcopter will pack up and fly away, and only a burgeoning, natural landscape will remain.

It’s a beautiful moment that delivers the game’s message in a tremendously uplifting way. It’s artfully done, and considering the developer’s other works include Broforce and Genital Jousting, it’s quite a departure in tone. You’ve got to respect the versatility. 

Into the Breach

Live, Kill Kaiju, Die, Repeat

As someone who’s eyes light up at the sight of a grid-based battlefield populated with adorable 2D combatants, I was predisposed to give Into the Breach a chance. If you’re not like me, and don’t instantly fall in love with anything that bears even a passing resemblance to Shining Force III or Final Fantasy Tactics, you might glance at the relatively small battlefields and limited number of units on show and decide to give this one a miss. I’m here to politely request that you reconsider that decision, as you’re missing out on a gem! A bastard-hard and thoroughly depressing gem, but a gem nonetheless.

Despite this guy’s confidence, you won’t be able to save everyone.

This indie-developed, mech-on-kaiju strategy game has been around since 2018, but I recently picked up the physical copy on Switch, and have found myself thoroughly absorbed into its time-bending, apocalyptic world. Your job in Into the Breach is to command a small squad of mechs as they attempt to defend the world’s population and infrastructure from an onslaught of giant bugs known as the Vek. Already on its last legs due to various natural catastrophes, civilisation has been brought to the brink of destruction by the marauding kaiju, and humanity’s last hope comes in the form of a group of time-hopping mech pilots.

The main aim of the game is to protect buildings and facilities from monster attacks, as these locations provide power to your power grid, and if your power grid fails, the timeline you’re in is fucked and it’s time to bail out. If this happens, your pilots will use their timey-wimey powers to zap themselves to a different timeline and try again. Each pilot is scattered across different timelines, too, so you can only keep one of them, and if you mess up and one of your mechs gets destroyed, the pilot is (usually) gone for good. Just don’t get too attached to these guys, okay?

While Into the Breach has a lot of the gameplay and strategy you’d expect from comparable modern retro tactical games like Triangle Strategy and Wargroove, there are a few mechanics that handily set it apart. One is the previously-mentioned timeline shenanigans, which lends itself to roguelike-style progression where repeated failures result in you being slightly better-equipped to take on the next timeline. Another mechanic that sets Into the Breach apart is the fact that it will clearly tell you exactly what the monstrous Vek are planning to do in the next turn, and will allow you to plan and manipulate them appropriately.

Chemical pools and conveyor belts are just a couple of the environmental hazards you’ll be dealing with. Oh, and see that knobbly squid thing in the bottom row? Take that out first.

It may sound like being able to accurately predict the AI’s every move would make a game like this pretty easy, but this is not the case. In fact, it’s this mechanic that takes Into the Breach further into board game or puzzle game territory. This removal of random chance or behind-the-scenes calculations makes Into the Breach pure strategy, akin to Chess, and will lead to difficult decisions aplenty. Expect to find yourself staring at the screen for minutes on end, sighing and rubbing your chin as you attempt to run through sequences of moves in your head to get out of a seemingly impossible situation you’ve found yourself in. You’ll often find yourself played into a corner where you’re forced to sacrifice something, and making the difficult choice between the mission objective or one of your experienced pilots is sure to produce lots of curse words and require a cup of tea or two. You’ll need a strong stomach, thick skin, and a really, really big brain to master this one.

The final goal of the game is to defeat the Vek at their hive, which is an area that opens up after liberating two of the four available islands. The difficulty scales as you progress through the islands, so taking the Vek hive out after island number two is your easiest option, but successfully completing a four-island run is a much more difficult goal. It’s a tough ask, and only letting you take one pilot with you to the next timeline feels harsh to the point of being insurmountable. Perseverance, experimentation, and the ability to stay calm and look for options under pressure are your best weapons to get there.

It’s often better to let your mech take a hit, rather than lose some of your power grid. Even if a pilot is killed, the mech’s AI will bring it back for the next mission. You’ll probably feel bad, though.

Once you’re up and running, understanding and upgrading your mech’s abilities, manipulating the Vek into harming each other, and successfully shielding civilians from kaiju attack becomes extremely satisfying. You’ll feel like a legendary commander when you pull it off, and you’ll become more confident as you start to understand the game’s way of thinking. However, Into the Breach is always capable of surprising you, and a power grid failure that results in hordes of titanic bugs burrowing out of the Earth’s crust to overwhelm the planet’s last defenders is always only a mistake away.

As alluded to earlier, Into the Breach can initially seem limited. The maps are small, you’re usually in charge of only three units at a time, and there are only five different environment types to do battle in. However, its difficulty, ingenious mechanics, variety of environmental effects and open-ended nature make for an incredibly deep experience that will keep throwing up new problems for as long as you’re willing to solve them.

The game does its best to make you remember that there are lives at stake. Try to focus on the mission, okay?

Tough, tense, and hugely atmospheric, Into the Breach is a strategy game for big time players. Great pixel art and some fantastically appropriate musical pieces all add to a high quality strategy experience, with unlockable mech squads and pilots, and additional, advanced options allowing experienced players to tweak gameplay to their heart’s content.

Climb into your mech, steel yourself for the horrors you’re about to witness, and give this strategy gem the chance it deserves. After all, you can always abandon this timeline and jump to the next if things don’t work out.

Played on Switch

Video Game Covers

Wanna Talk Box Art? I’ve Got You Covered

One of the many reasons I fear the day when digital distribution replaces the physical game entirely, is that we’ll lose the establishment that is video game box art. I’ve been thinking a lot about video game cover art lately, and have indeed been looking at a lot of video game cover art, too. I’m looking at the cover of Fantasy World Dizzy right now, in fact. This timeless piece of artwork shows an egg in boxing gloves, wearing a safari hat and holding a telescope, while dragons and dinosaurs loom threateningly in the background. It’s a completely normal cover for a completely normal game, and it’s just the tip of the box art iceberg. From Wipeout to Alan Wake to Gravity Rush to Double Dragon, there’s a huge variety of great cover art out there, and I’m going to put on my world-renowned art critic shoes and talk about some now.

I’m also going to highlight a few that I really dislike. Then I’ll probably get called out on it and feel bad about it, but that’s just the kind of thing that us world-renowned art critics have to deal with every day. Let’s just look at some covers, shall we?   

GOOD – Deus Ex

The box art of Deus Ex pleases me. There are a few aspects that come together to give an unmistakable dystopian, cyberpunk feel, but it’s that ambiguous beam of light that really peaks my interest. Has JC Denton been picked out by a spotlight? Or is he ascending into some higher state of cybernetically-enhanced existence? The grid and stream of numbers overlaying the sky could be a representation of the all-encompassing grasp of technology, or could hint that this whole world is a simulation. Either way, with its black helicopter, bleak cityscape, shades-at-night-time vibe, this box art has all the ingredients needed to get you into the conspiracy mindset. Corporate subterfuge, government cover-ups and dehumanising body modification are surely just around the corner.

GOOD – Sonic & Knuckles

Before Sonic’s video game world was filled with superfluous bats, cats, bees, and miscellaneous additional residuary hedgehogs, a new character was a big deal that people looked forward to. Tails’ introduction in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was a serious event, as was Sonic the Hedgehog 3’s unveiling of the mysterious, antagonistic echidna, Knuckles. When Sonic & Knuckles hit the shelves, and people knew that they were finally going to be able to play as the prickly, pink anti-hero, this minimal box art did all it needed to do. An elegant logo on a black background, depicting Sonic and his new frenemy. It’s simple, it’s pretty, and it works. This is graphic design, people. I’m surprised I never see it on hoodies.

BAD – Days Gone

Days Gone has a stupid box art. This thing was designed by a committee, or some kind of cover-designing computer program. The “cover-o-matic”, if you will. Someone typed “zombie horde, brooding protagonist, 42% Sons of Anarchy, 58% The Walking Dead” into the algorithm and this is what came out. No one noticed that the computer didn’t understand that the lead wouldn’t be sitting and brooding handsomely next to his bike while a horde of infected looms only a few metres away. It’s a dumb and meaningless cover that just ticks all the triple-A, cinematic, gritty Netflix series-inspired boxes of its era. Don’t blame the cover-o-matic, though. It just does what it’s told. 

BAD – Eternal Ring

Look, I don’t want to knock a developing artist, but I also think that a certain level of refinement should be required when producing the cover art for an officially-released video game. Eternal Ring is FromSoftware’s original ring-based action RPG that a lot of people don’t know about, and honestly, I don’t think I’d know anything about it either if its cover art hadn’t stuck with me for all the wrong reasons. There’s nothing wrong with the image choice of a guy contemplating a ring for a game that presumably features a ring that’s worth contemplating, but why the hell wasn’t I producing covers for worldwide video game releases in the year 2000? I possessed a similar level of anatomical drawing understanding, and I’m pretty sure I was better at hands. 

GOOD – The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (NA Cover)

Historically, the Zelda franchise has gone for a prominent logo on a plain or minimal background for its box art, and I’ve seen folks online identifying these as both the best and worst things ever. I like them, but I like this one more. The logo is right there, looking lovely as ever, but it’s backed up by an image that embodies impending adventure. Link, wearing a brand new, blue tunic, stands on a rocky outcrop like someone’s expertly-painted Warhammer miniature, and a world of opportunity awaits before him. This cover represents an exciting new era for one of the world’s premier video game franchises, and invites you along for the ride.

BAD – Planescape: Torment

I love Planescape: Torment. I do. It’s got the greatest story ever told in gaming and I’ll die on that hill all day. Not many people experienced said yarn, however, and while its status as a cult classic PC RPG that sits in the shadow of the likes of Baldur’s Gate and Fallout 2 definitely had something to do with this, this super-weird front cover surely contributed to its obscurity. I mean, what were players supposed to expect when they laid eyes on it? It looks like an alien from a voodoo magic-inspired episode of some obscure, ’90s sci-fi, which I guess would have its charm if that’s the kind of vibe Planescape: Torment was going for, but it really isn’t. The ’90s sci-fi makeup job, the blue scaling, the picked-out gold on the dreadlock beads, it’s all so weird and off-putting. Great game, though. Honestly. 

GOOD – The NewZealand Story

My pick of the bunch when it comes to cutesy platformer box art is the adorable and mysterious The NewZealand Story. Let’s have a look at some of the characters arrayed on this cover, shall we? You’ve got Tiki the kiwi himself, looking adorably heroic in his trainers, then there’s a whole host of critters standing in opposition. There’s a thing in a floating UFO tank, there’s a kind of sinister-looking, fire-breathing tortoise, there’s a cat-like creature with bat wings, and there’s an absolutely beautiful little bat-mouse thing in the bottom corner, standing there looking like some kind of proto-Gengar. It’s a cuddly yet action-packed composition, and thankfully, that creepy, pink whale boss is nowhere to be seen. 

GOOD – Streets of Rage

I love a side-scrolling beat-’em-up, and the genre has provided some epic cover art over the years, from the various ports of 1986’s Renegade, right up to the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge. The original Streets of Rage has to be the pinnacle, though. A perfect example of ’90s action movie-style, illustrated box art, this expertly-composed picture has it all. It’s not entirely representational of the game, though. I don’t know why Blaze and Axel have changed their outfits, and no bad guys carry Uzis, wear hockey masks, snipe from windows or emerge from beneath sewer covers (not until the second game, anyway), but who cares when the image is so awesome? I own a cushion with this artwork on it. No word of a lie. I’m leaning on it now, in fact.

BAD – The Last of Us Part II

Sony’s big exclusives really do run the gamut of cover quality. Horizon Zero Dawn is great, God of War is alright, Days Gone can get in the bin, and then you have this. “Close up of grumpy face”. I don’t know what else to say, really, it’s just another meaningless cover that ticks market research boxes but in an even less interesting way. I totally get it, The Last of Us Part II cover designer, your game is gritty and violent and harsh. It’s basically misery porn and I understand that some people like that, but I really don’t want “close up of grumpy face” on my gaming shelf. Take your blood-soaked, angry teenagers and ludonarrative dissonance elsewhere, please. Can I look at something else now? 

GOOD – Cisco Heat

Now, this is more like it! I used to pick up Commodore 64 magazines when I was younger, and I always loved seeing the cover art and advertisements for Cisco Heat in said periodicals. It embodies my childhood idea of what America was like; sun and skyscrapers and cool police chases. When I look at this image, I think of summer, I think of rolling my Micro Machines around my bedroom floor, I think of watching Police Academy on video. Look at that subtitle – “All American Police Car Race”. That’s the stuff that my young, Beverly Hills Cop-inspired dreams were made of. And yes, I do also like the photo of the cop leaning on the cop car arcade machine. Who wouldn’t like that? Criminals, that’s who. 

GOOD – Halo 3

You could say, if you were so inclined, that the Halo 3 cover represents everything that’s wrong with big budget game covers from its era and beyond. It’s just the main character kind of standing there with a gun, it’s got that whole orange and teal, generic movie poster thing going on, but none of that matters, this is a masterpiece. Every subtle nuance combines to form a piece of box art that’s so inspiring it should be made into a 100 foot stained glass window and installed into a magnificent cathedral so that the morning sun can shine through it, reminding us of the trials and sacrifices of our saviour, Master Chief. The light, the shadows, the perfectly-poised, pre-action pose. This cover isn’t just epic, it’s transcendent. It depicts the precise moment that the ultimate hero of mankind steps into the light, ready to save us all.

GOOD – Secret of Mana

Hiro Isono was an incredible artist. His illustrations of otherworldly groves and mystical glades capture the complexity and detail of nature as well as its mysterious, sweeping majesty. When the lads at SquareSoft hit him up for a bit of cover art back in the early ’90s, it was an inspired move. After all, the driving force behind the lore of Secret of Mana is a giant, magical tree, and Isono is giant, magical trees. The result is a beautiful, somehow eerie, contemplative piece of art that details an event later in the game in a way that doesn’t spoil the story. It has the three leads, it has the roots of an enormous tree, it has some cool birds, and it’s so much more affecting than a picture of the protagonist posing with a sword (or an extreme close up of their grumpy face). The PS4 remake has more room on the cover to feature more of the illustration, so I should probably have displayed that one, but the SNES box presses all my nostalgia buttons. It’s my favourite box art, and I can’t see it being uprooted any time soon.

Donald in Maui Mallard – Retro Review

A Duck Pretending to be a Duck Pretending to be Another Duck

This is the second and last review I wrote for Sega Mania Issue 8, and as such is written from a 90’s perspective. This one had a couple of boxouts as well, which I’ve presented as best I can with any knowledge as to how to do layout properly.

Donald’s back, put possibly not quite how you remember him. Eschewing his usual, fashionably questionable sailor outfit, he’s arrived for his next action-packed platformer in a much more agreeable Hawaiian shirt and cap ensemble. That’s right, this is Maui Mallard, Donald Duck’s medium-boiled, crime-fighting alter-ego. The identity swapping doesn’t stop there, either. Maui Mallard has an alter-ego of his own. Cold Shadow is a black-clad ninja, a master of bo staff combat, and a proponent of nimbly leaping up narrow shafts. This explains the confusing situation of the game’s alternative title, Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow. Really, if we’re being accurate here, the game should be called Donald Duck in Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow, but I guess they would have run out of space on the spine. Whichever way you look at it, you’re going three-deep in Donald Duck personalities during the ninja sections, which is an experience in itself regardless of how good the game actually is.

Luckily, the game is really good. Donald in Maui Mallard is a platformer in the same vein as the cantankerous mallard’s previous Mega Drive escapades. However, Donald seems to have been doing some cross-fit training since the QuackShot days, as he has a much sleeker sprite, moves much faster, and controls a little bit looser. Where QuackShot (and indeed the Illusion series of Disney platformers) had a very considered pace with tight controls and forgiving platforming. Donald in Maui Mallard has a much more frantic feel, with enemies coming from all angles, more haphazard jumping controls, and platforms whose edges aren’t always clearly identifiable.

This screams Aladdin to me. You know, apart from with a ninja duck. There were no ninja ducks in Aladdin. Just an angry parrot.

In this way, it feels like it inhabits the lane between the “traditional” Disney platformers like the Illusion series, and the more modern Disney platformers based on the big, box office movies such as Aladdin and Lion King. This crossover can be seen in the art-style and the gameplay, as well as the mild jump in difficulty, and it could well be exactly what many Mega Drive owners are looking for.

Leaving his plunger gun at home, Donald as Maui is armed with a bug-launcher that fires insects that can be collected throughout the stages. The basic ammo has a fairly short range and takes a few shots to defeat most enemies, but upgraded invertebrates can be collected and even combined to form powerful, boss-bothering bullets or handy homing projectiles. The enemy designs are imaginative and in-fitting with the tropical, voodoo vibe, ranging from juicy-looking spiders to wild natives to zombie ducks. Maui has plenty of health to survive numerous enemy encounters, and there is a generous sprinkling of health-restoring power-ups to be found throughout the stages, but this generosity is offset by some devious level design and a fair few tricky platforming sections suspended over instant-death drops.

From the second stage onwards, Donald as Maui can take on the form of Cold Shadow. This feathered ninja warrior can take out most enemies with one thwack of his stick, and is a lot more manoeuvrable with a plethora of staff-based options to traverse the expansive levels in interesting ways. He can attach himself to various outcroppings and swing to higher platforms, and can wedge his stick in narrow shafts to gain the leverage he needs to leap higher. For the most part, you’ll want to play as Cold Shadow as much as you can, but there are times when Maui Mallard’s ranged attacks and bungee jumping abilities are preferable (or even necessary). In order to stay in his Cold Shadow form, Donald must collect symbols to stop a meter from ticking down. Luckily, these collectibles tend to respawn near tricky jumps that require Cold Shadow’s specific skills to negotiate, so you’ll never find yourself in a situation where you’re unable to progress, even if it can occasionally feel that way.

Both the Maui and Cold Shadow sprites are smooth and full of character, and have plenty of amusing idle animations to entertain you while you’re having a breather. The environment graphics are top notch, too, with sinister voodoo mansions, clandestine ninja hideouts and savage, moonlit savannahs all looking suitably atmospheric. The game has a dark and mysterious ambience, with later levels even taking on a bit of a Lovecraftian vibe, consisting of maddening death-worlds with bizarre architecture and gigantic, floating eyeballs. It’s not the kind of location you’d expect to be exploring in a Disney title, but I guess kids have to face up to the concept of hell dimensions at some point.

That’s right children, it’s always watching.

The music befits the tropical and occasionally occult vibe, usually taking the form of ambient accompaniment in lieu of catchy tunes that you’ll be whistling while you take the dog for a walk. Most of the tracks feature a pleasing and thematic beat to match the game’s quick and occasionally frantic pace, and you’ll probably find that your toes are tapping throughout. You’ll also hear plenty of sampled martial arts cries and grunts, artfully representing Donald’s new-found ninja skills.

As a platforming experience, Donald in Maui Mallard gets the basics right, and then takes you on a weird and wild journey of new ideas and unusual themes. Donald’s two distinct personalities offer different gameplay styles, and the levels that allow you to jump between the ninja and detective personas give you the freedom to take on enemies and obstacles however you please. The boss fights provide another layer of variety. Whether you’re unloading special bug ammo into the metallic spider boss of the first stage, or battering a floating lava-duck head around with your bo staff in the volcano level, the bosses are wacky, unique and appropriately challenging.

Remember Darkwing Duck? What about Count Duckula? Hey, remember that penguin from Wallace and Gromit?

The game isn’t without its frustrations. Platforming sections can occasionally be fiddly and unsatisfying, and there are moments when the way forward is unclear, but on the whole the challenge is well balanced between being accessible to kids and newbies and giving platforming pros and gaming veterans something to think about for a week or so. Donald in Maui Mallard feels like a modern Disney game. Whereas QuackShot was like playing an episode of Duck Tales and The Lucky Dime Caper was reminiscent of classic Donald cartoons or comic strips, the animation style and dark undertones on offer here exude that new and edgy ’90s style. It’s not quite as comfortable as the previous Disney mascot titles, but it’s not trying to be. This one is trying to get your heart pounding and act as your gateway to the concepts of dark magic, the risen dead and tribal sacrificial practices, rather than take you on a wistfully whimsical journey through wistful whimsy.

Donald in Maui Mallard is a glimpse into Disney’s darker side, but more importantly, it’s a very competent platformer with loads of personality. It won’t replace the likes of QuackShot and World of Illusion in my heart, but it will definitely sit proudly alongside them on my shelf. I suggest you find a place for it on yours.

Donald, P.I.

I mentioned in the main part of the review that Donald in Maui Mallard is a very modern-feeling Disney title, but there’s a hefty dose of the 1980s mixed in that makes that claim come across as a little tenuous. Maui Mallard, self-described “medium boiled” detective, is this game’s take on Tom Selleck’s Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV, the lead character in ’80s detective thriller series Magnum, P.I.

The similarities are plain to see – both are pistol-toting, Hawaiian-shirted heroes with action star qualities and effortless cool. Donald doesn’t have a well-groomed, bristly decoration on his upper lip, though, and I haven’t seen much evidence of him being a Vietnam vet either. Still, at least he can turn into a ninja at a moment’s notice and start cracking skulls with his bo staff. I don’t believe Mr. Selleck ever donned a headband and started performing ninjutsu techniques throughout the tropical beaches and bamboo forests of Hawaii. At least, I don’t think he did, but maybe I missed a few episodes.

Tick, Tick, Shabuhm

So what’s Donald got himself involved with this time?” I hear you ask. Well, there’s a witchdoctor, you see, and he’s stolen the idol of Shabuhm Shabuhm from a tropical island. This idol is considered to be the island’s guardian spirit, and Donald as Maui as (occasionally) Cold Shadow needs to get it back. Our hero must track the nefarious shaman through the various locales of the island while winning over the natives and even taking a trip to the underworld, before coming face to face with the masked meddler and engaging in a climactic showdown.

The thing is, when you do finally meet the witchdoctor and find out what’s going on under that creepy tribal mask, it’s only going to cause more questions. I won’t completely spoil it, but let’s just say that this guy epitomises the term “air-headed”. That’s some bad mojo right there.

I hope you enjoyed this little look into what might have been if Sega Mania Magazine had kept going. I did actually start writing one more review, but I never finished it. It was on a Sega Saturn game called Robotica Cybernation Revolt, but I only wrote a snazzy, cyberpunk-style intro and never got into the review proper, mainly because I hadn’t played the game yet! Maybe I will one day…

 

RimWorld – Impressions

The Harrowing Trials and Tribulations of the Potato People

I held off on playing RimWorld for years after it first started showing up in my Steam discovery queue and my suggested YouTube videos. In terms of gameplay and premise, it was right up my street, but the visuals always turned me off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some shallow ingrate concerned only with aesthetics, but a large part of the appeal of sim games for me is the visual interest of watching your settlement, theme park, zoo or other grow, and viewing the interactions of the denizens within. I can while away hours watching a junction in Cities: Skylines, for example, just observing as the traffic builds up, then filters through, then builds up, then filters through. Edit a junction or change a stretch of road, watch how it changes the flow. Watch the traffic build up, then filter through. I have a full and productive life.

Anyway, it was the hilariously and informatively presented videos of a YouTuber called ambiguousamphibian that finally caused me to take the plunge. 30 hours of gameplay later, here are my initial thoughts.

I really don’t like the visuals. Nothing has legs or arms, and everyone looks like a little potato person. Sometimes a colonist will have interesting hair, giving them some visual character, but then they’ll immediately put a hat on so that they look like a little potato man again. When they get shot or stabbed or scratched by cougars, cuts and slashes appear on them, giving the disturbing impression that they’re potatoes that bleed. I understand that the graphics are representative, and that rendering arms and legs would be quite an undertaking considering your colonists can and will lose limbs and then replace them with bionic implants, but I find it difficult to get attached to the little potato people, probably more so than if they were represented by icons or text.

If you can’t make out the text there, it’s saying that Cauchois’ brain is a mangled scar thanks to a shot from a revolver. This has … slowed her down somewhat. She used to be my finest builder.

The environment textures are very lacking as well. I immediately downloaded a mod that sharpens up the textures but you’re still going to be looking at basic, bare minimum visuals for the entirety. It’s fine, it is what it is, I wish there was a more appealing visual solution for a million-selling game, but I signed up for the addictive progression-based gameplay, the situations that can arise, and the stories that can play out.

RimWorld nails all of that stuff, especially if you’re brave and play on the harder difficulties. It’s the sort of game that generates water cooler talk. If you’re lucky enough to have a pal who also plays the game, you’ll be regaling each other with tales of tribal raids, cold snaps, giant insect infestations and killer guinea pig attacks for months to come.

A few years back, my wife and I used to play The Sims 3 a lot. We had completely different play-styles. She would create the perfect Sim, take total control of their lives, get them to work every morning, and try to make them as happy and fulfilled as possible (that’s if she ever got past meticulously creating said Sim’s perfect abode with the infinite money cheat). I would create a household of three or four, give them a mixture of good and bad traits, give the AI the maximum amount of control and just let events unfold, only intervening if I absolutely needed to.

There was another guy in this colony called Hella, but he died when a cougar bit off his arm. Said cougar ended up as lunch for the other colonists. It’s a harsh world sometimes.

RimWorld really rewards players who are somewhere in between the two. You’ll have to be in control to ensure your colonists survive the raids, harsh winters and other such dangerous occurrences the computer will throw at you, but rolling with the game’s mischievous tendencies to throw seemingly insurmountable odds at you is essential to really experiencing what RimWorld has to offer. It’s a story creator, and sometimes said stories may be tragic or hopeless, but they’re always fascinating. If you’re the type of player who would quit and reload if your favourite colonist got his arm ripped off by a passing warg, then this game isn’t for you. You’ve got to accept the rough as well as the smooth to get the ultimate RimWorld experience, and you’ll probably need lots of time to spare, too.

At only thirty hours and three colonies deep, I don’t really feel qualified to review RimWorld. I’ve not come anywhere near the endgame, and have barely scratched the surface of what this indie gem has to offer. However, I can say some things for certain already; this game is meticulously crafted, addictive, near-limitless in breadth, often melancholic in tone, and chock full of little potato people. It’s definitely got a-peel.