SimonPike, Author at

Ranking Every Game I Finished in 2025

In 2025, I finally got my rumpus room sorted out, and I managed to finish plenty of video games. It’s been quite the eclectic mix of old and new, and I decided that it would be fun to rank them. That’s what people like, right? Rankings? Obviously this is just my opinion, and could quite easily change if I looked at it on a different day, but what follows is my attempt to wrangle every video game I completed for the first time in 2025 into some kind of order.

I’ll quickly mention Mario Kart World, RoadCraft, and Dorfromantik, because they’re not really the sort of games you can “complete” but all got a lot of play from me and were games that I played for the first time this year. RoadCraft is a MudRunner-type game where you find yourself in a big truck in the aftermath of a natural disaster and are tasked with repairing roads and pipelines and things, and Dorfromantik is a map-builder where you place tiles next to other tiles and gradually create an expansive landmass while trying not to run out of map pieces. I’m not going to describe Mario Kart World – you know what Mario Kart World is – but you could call these three my honourable mentions.

I’ll also mention Metaphor: ReFantazio and Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes. I enjoyed both, but bounced off both. Metaphor: ReFantazio became a bit of a slog (although I was suffering from excruciating back pain at the time and it hurt to even sit down, so that didn’t help) and Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes was just too much faff, as I discuss here. I did still like both games, though, and may well come back and knock them on the head in 2026.

Anyway, enough preamble, let’s get to the ranking! Watch out, here comes number 25!

25. Princess Peach: Showtime! – Switch

I get that I’m not exactly the target audience for this one, and I don’t really remember what possessed me to buy and play it, but honestly, it was still pretty good even though it’s all the way down here at the bottom. If it was bad, I wouldn’t have bothered finishing it, after all. You play as the second best princess from the Mario franchise and collect different outfits that unlock various powers on your quest to save the theatre or something, and the more action-coded stages were a lot of fun. Some nasty performance issues and some less-interesting sections let this one down.

24. Exo One – PC

A short and sweet Steam purchase that I’d had on my wishlist for some time, this one puts you in control of a technologically advanced space sphere/disc thing and uses momentum-based controls to take you on a ride through beautiful, alien worlds. I smashed the campaign in an afternoon but enjoyed it. There’s a story behind it about a missing astronaut and some mysterious space anomalies, and when the pace was high and the mysteries were mounting it was a thrill ride, but it loses some places for the moments when the controls worked against me and the pace was brought to a near-halt (and it felt a little tiny bit like playing crazy golf).

23. Arrow Flash – Mega Drive

A classic shoot-’em-up that I played to completion on my actual Mega Drive in my actual rumpus room. Reviewers of the early ’90s weren’t too impressed, saying that it was too easy and could be completed in an hour or so. I can confirm that this is true, but I still enjoyed it, switching between spaceship and mech forms, and experiencing some trippy visuals and cool tunes. I wouldn’t say it should be mentioned in the same breath as some of the legendary shooters from that era – it’s an early Mega Drive game and it feels like one – but I still enjoyed it.

22. Untitled Goose Game – Switch

I finished it this year but I started it last year and never quite got to the end for some reason. I played it with my daughter this time around, and we enjoyed unleashing our inner aggravating, surly goose personas. Charming and fun, but occasionally a little fiddly and frustrating, this is another game that you can finish in an afternoon. Any game with a dedicated “honk” button is okay in my book.

21. Orcs & Elves – DS

A random eBay pickup that got a few days of solid gameplay out of me. A traditional, first-person dungeon crawler with orcs, skeletons, dragons, zombies, and all that other Dungeons & Dragons-adjacent stuff that gives off cosy, fantasy vibes. It was developed by id Software and published by EA, which I only point out because it just feels quite unexpected. Archaic by design and occasionally esoteric, it’s still an enjoyable and atmospheric experience that I’m glad I picked up.

20. Donald Duck: Quack Attack – PS2

I’ve never really liked Crash Bandicoot. I find the games frustrating and find the character a little grating. I did, however, finish this random PS2 game that’s basically a Crash Bandicoot clone. In general I found it easier and more agreeable than Sony’s then flagship, and I’ll take the cantankerous waterfowl over the wacky marsupial any day of the week. Surprisingly good music, too. The game is known as Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers in America.

19. The Precinct – PS5

I did a Game Diary on it here and it was a gift from my daughter for Father’s Day, which makes it super special to me. The Precinct has a great soundtrack and a cool, retro top-down view that brings to mind the original couple of GTA games. When it works, it’s all delightful chaos and ’80s vibes, but it had a few too many bugs and random odd NPC behaviours that took me out of the zone. Still, it produced plenty of hilarious emergent moments that make me smirk to look back on.

18. Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker – Switch

A game that I love the idea of slightly more than I love the execution of, but I did still really enjoy this sentient fungus-based puzzler. The compact worlds are cosy and visually interesting, and the brain-teasing gameplay is on point, with lots of additional content made available in the Switch version. I did occasionally find it a bit slow-going and wished my little mushroom pal could run a bit faster, and when played in cooperative mode with my daughter we found that the motion controls could be a pain in the arse. Still great, though.

17. Broken Sword – Shadow of the Templars: Reforged – Switch

I found it especially difficult to rank this one as Broken Sword is one of my all-time favourite game series’ and a go-to for YouTube lets plays when I can’t sleep, but re-playing this in its modern incarnation I couldn’t help but notice where the cracks are starting to show, and feel that if I didn’t have the nostalgia and the pre-knowledge of what to do going in, I would’ve got frustrated and given up. Still, impeccable atmosphere, and George Stobbart’s voice is one of the comfiest in gaming for my money.

16. Uncharted: Golden Abyss – PS Vita

Now for a more action-based take on the globe-trotting adventure genre, as Nathan Drake is responsible for uncountable murders while George Stobbart is still on a big fat zero. This handheld iteration manages to take everything that’s enjoyable about the Uncharted franchise – the spectacle, the atmosphere, the fast-flowing, ever-changing gameplay – and shrink it down to handheld size. I didn’t always want to be fiddling with the touch-screen and gyroscope, however, and the smaller screen took away from the “blockbuster” feel the series is known for.

15. Kena: Bridge of Spirits – PS5

I wrote about this one here, but to put it more succinctly; it’s a somewhat Zelda-adjacent adventure with a Dreamworks-inspired visual style, surprisingly deep and difficult combat, and adorable little critters to locate and manipulate (and put hats on). It was graphically stunning at times and enjoyable throughout, but I didn’t feel much of a connection with the protagonist and the side characters. Still, a great experience from beginning to end.

14. The Plucky Squire – Switch

The short and quirky tale of a young squire kicked out of his storybook, this game delighted with its writing, charm, and Zelda-like gameplay. I finished it right at the end of the year to take my number of games completed (for the first time) in 2025 up from a nondescript 24 to a thematically pleasing 25, and thanks to its imaginative design, clever puzzles, and some amusing dialogue and visual storytelling, I had a very good time doing so. A humble but entertaining slice of wholesome and colourful video game fun. I wrote about it here.

13. Drainus – Switch

Honestly, I didn’t spend anywhere near as many hours on this one as I did the likes of Kena: Bridge of Spirits and The Precinct, but I did thoroughly enjoy every moment, and it was so nice to play a mechanically near-perfect shooter with awesome graphics and music that I could actually get through. The best of the “short” games I played this year, Drainus definitely has a lot to offer for high-score chasers and self-challengers. I, however, just like the pew pew pew. I wrote about it in more depth here.

12. Super Princess Peach – DS

Probably my pleasant surprise of the year, I saw that a lot of contemporary reviewers were generally unimpressed with Peach’s first solo outing, but I found it to be a wonderful balance of accessible platforming, visual charm, neat music, and semi-sneakily hidden collectibles. Not too difficult but with some mildly challenging moments, this title kept me interested until the end and more than delivered on what I was expecting from it; a visually pleasing and well-crafted casual platformer experience.

11. Uncharted: The Lost Legacy – PS4

After having an agreeable time with Uncharted: Golden Abyss I decided to continue my Uncharted adventure by picking up this super-cheap and expertly-crafted thrill-ride and smashing the campaign over a few sessions. I enjoyed playing as Chloe for a change (and I always enjoy Claudia Black’s voice work), and found the set-pieces as exciting as always. I also appreciated the downtime, snooping around spectacular ruins and breathtaking vistas in search of treasures and trinkets. Short but very sweet, and with a nice ending where everyone enjoyed some pizza.

10. Super Mario Bros. Wonder – Switch

For my money, Sonic is the king of the 2D platformer. Having said that, I did find this endlessly inventive platform experience to be a fun and challenging ride. The Wonder Flower effects added such a surreal tone to the game that it always felt like anything could happen, and it let me play as Daisy, so that automatically puts it above the two Peach games I’ve already talked about. Daisy is the best princess, after all. A worthy way to kick off the top ten.

9. Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound – Switch

The first ninja-based game to appear on the list, this one stayed true to its NES roots while modernising the gameplay in a few key ways that resulted in a fun and challenging experience. I enjoyed the interplay between the two playable characters and found the bosses to be quite demanding, but wasn’t overly enamoured with the visuals and never felt too compelled to go back once I’d got the campaign in the bag. Still a top-quality, retro ninja adventure, though.

8. Ninja Gaiden 4 – PS5

This game should have been challenging for the number one spot but was honestly a little disappointing. The visuals are great, the combat is poised, tight, and brutal, and the violence is satisfying, but compared to Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden II it lacked variety and x-factor, and the new protagonist, Yakumo, came across as a socially-awkward emo-kid who all the female characters and some far-cooler male characters seem to have nothing but respect and adoration for despite his complete lack of charisma. It played brilliantly, but the game, like its hero, lacked personality.

7. Shinobi: Art of Vengeance – PS5

The triumvirate of ninja action games concludes with Shinobi: Art of Vengeance, which just won me over with its awesome presentation, animation, combat, and controls. The platforming was really solid too, and I enjoyed the Metroidvania-lite mechanics. An excellent return to the limelight for a classic Sega character that warmed the cockles, but some of the levels felt a bit underwhelming and some of the backgrounds felt a bit lacking in detail. I guess I’m still just a bit salty that the gross, body horror sections weren’t disgusting enough. I wrote about this game and Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound here.

6. The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom – Switch

With Tears of the Kingdom and the Link’s Awakening remake still in my unfinished pile, I wasn’t betting on myself to get through this one, but the quirky gameplay and charm carried me right through to the end. I had a great time summoning creatures and items to help with traversal, puzzles, and combat, and adored the atmosphere and visual style. I’m pretty sure I played the entire thing through in handheld mode, and it really worked beautifully as a handheld adventure that kept me occupied for hours. I didn’t even mind the menu interface thing that everyone was complaining about. Good stuff.

5. Prodeus – Switch

The first game I finished in 2025 was this gem of a “boomer shooter”. I wrote about it here, and while I haven’t played it since knocking the campaign on the head in January, it’s definitely one I can see myself blasting through again in the future. Feeling somewhere in between Doom and Quake with a few mod-cons strapped on, Prodeus was an extremely enjoyable romp through sinister enemies and grimy stages overflowing with ominous atmosphere. It was just a really visceral old-school FPS that I look back on with great fondness. Top five material.

4. Metal Slug Tactics – Switch

I’d read about this game (and watched a few videos) before it was released physically, and knew to expect an experience close to the excellent Into the Breach before sticking the cartridge in, so it had a lot to live up to. Thankfully, it turned out to be a very fun and finely balanced strategy roguelike with just the right amount of challenge. Full of personality, Metal Slug Tactics recreates the classic Metal Slug art-style admirably from an isometric perspective, and has some really cool music too. I often go back to Into the Breach, but now I have another option to sate that hankering for tactical grid-based goodness.

3. Metroid Prime 4: Beyond – Switch 2

My final anticipated release of the year, it lived up to my expectations and provided a beautiful and atmospheric space adventure that had far fewer frustrating moments compared to Metroid Prime Remastered. I wrote about it in more detail here, but I found that a lot of the problems people are talking about online – like the radio buddy and the green crystal hunt – didn’t bug me anywhere near as much as they seem to be offending other people, and I found Samus’ latest outing to be a top-quality experience from beginning to end.

2. Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown – PS5

My surprise of the year! When your biggest complaint about a game is that everyone seems really tall compared to the protagonist, then you know you’re onto a winner (everyone does seem so much taller than poor old Sargon though, and it does really bug me because seriously what is up with that?). I did a game diary on it here, and I look back on that time spent with the game very fondly. Great combat, satisfying puzzle solving and progression, and an awesomely charismatic protagonist all combine to form a brilliant Metroidvania experience. It’s super-cheap, too.

1. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 – PS5

Recent controversies from the Indie Game Awards aside, this has to be my GOTY, and I previously wrote about it here. A fascinating premise that was followed up on beautifully, gorgeous visuals, stunning music, and challenging gameplay that made the whole thing feel way more involved than your average turn-based RPG (not that there’s anything wrong with a traditional turn-based battle system). The passion of the developers is palpable throughout the game’s rollercoaster of a campaign, and I think it’ll live on as one of the true greats in years to come.

The Plucky Squire

A Real Page-Turner

I ended 2025 on a jaunty note, as far as video games go, at least. The Plucky Squire was added to my Christmas list on a whim and was purchased for me by my lovely wife, and over a few jaunty handheld gaming sessions undertaken in the time void known to some as the “Chrimbo limbo”, I saw the campaign to its jaunty conclusion.

If you haven’t heard of The Plucky Squire, it’s an indie game originally released in 2024 and developed by British studio, All Possible Futures, and concerns the titular squire being kicked out of the storybook he’s the main character in and attempting to save the day by exploring its pages and the outside world.

Many of the puzzles involve swapping words out from the book to have an effect on the environment. It’s a really neat idea that has loads of potential, but I don’t feel like it was explored to that potential.

The game is very “meta” in this way (in fact, the magic that the evil sorcerer, Humgrump, is using to cause trouble is referred to as “metamagic”), as the characters become aware very early on that they are part of a book, and many of the puzzles require players to think outside the box (or outside the book) to come up with creative solutions. Not that any of the puzzles were that hard. I never found myself stopping and scratching my chin thoughtfully for more than a few seconds, and I found all of the “glitchbird” collectibles in one play through.

The game will often stop to offer up some dialogue hinting at what the titular squire (who’s name is Jot, by the way) has to do to proceed, and there were times when I could’ve done without this, and would have rather the game let me figure things out for myself and hold back on stemming the flow. There’s also a recurring character that will give you more specific tips to progress, but you can ignore this fellow if you wish. He does have some fun dialogue, though, so sometimes I felt like I might’ve been missing out on an amusing quip or clever reference. You can’t have it all, I guess.

Sometimes Jot’s allies will fight alongside him, but sometimes they just follow passively.

The writing of The Plucky Squire is very pleasing on the whole. Generally, it’s presented as a kid’s storybook, but the writers definitely had some fun with the dialogue especially. The characters are all fairytale standards with some kind of unique twist, like a wizard who’s into EDM or a troll who’s a heavy metal drummer. The premise, writing, and dialogue combined to provide some legitimately fun and frivolous moments, and I actually chortled aloud a few times.

What about the gameplay, though? Well, I can best describe it as “Zelda-like”, in lots of different ways. When you’re exploring the book, The Plucky Squire feels like a SNES-style, top-down Zelda, and when you’re outside the book in the kid’s room, it’s reminiscent of the Link’s Awakening remake. Even Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks feel represented with some of the creative puzzle solutions. There are also a few moments throughout The Plucky Squire where the gameplay will change drastically for a boss encounter. I won’t spoil too much, but if you’re a fan of rhythm games, side-scrolling shooters, and Punch Out!!, you’re in for a treat.

I now realise that I didn’t take any screenshots of 3D Jot in the real world. Oh well, I’m not going back in to get one, sorry. Here’s a screenshot of him on a mug instead.

Early on, The Plucky Squire felt like it was going to be a quirky but somewhat average experience that I’d play through and forget about, but by the end the gameplay changes, the charm, and the writing elevated it beyond this. I also found the segments where Jot was exploring outside the book, snooping around a kid’s desk and navigating paint pots, rulers, and birthday cards, to be extremely cosy. It almost took me back to my Micro Machines: Turbo Tournament 96 days. Are there any more games where you play as a tiny guy in a full size world? I’d like to explore this idea further. Maybe I need to track down a copy of Chibi-Robo!.

Played on Nintendo Switch 2.

Kizuna Encounter: Super Tag Battle

NEO-GEO Nostalgia

I’m not lucky enough to have a NEO-GEO floating about in the rumpus room (obviously, I really wish I did), and until recently I don’t think I’d ever even seen one. I am interested in lesser-known video gaming lore, though, and have watched many a video and read many an article on SNK’s surprisingly flat box of wires and circuit boards. I’ve also played ports of the various Metal Slug, Fatal Fury and The King of Fighters games that have sprung up on other consoles throughout the years, so it’s not like I’m completely clueless about the world of Shin Nihon Kikaku, just mostly clueless.

Kizuna Encounter: Super Tag Battle is a game that kept coming up in my research for articles and scripts I was writing. Most recently, it came up in my research for my as-yet unreleased Alien/Predator video game ranked list I put together for TripleJump. You see, a 2010, unlicensed mobile title called Predators: The Great Hunt swiped its backgrounds directly from SNK fighting games. I was first made aware of this when a contributor on tvtropes.org pointed out that the stage background from Krizalid’s arena from The King of Fighters ’99 was used, and this got me interested enough to do some sleuthing myself. Through a bit of reverse image searching I was able to identify a background from Kizuna Encounter: Super Tag Battle and, once I’d recovered from my distress at the brazen plagiarism on display, was yet again reminded just how frickin’ awesome this NEO-GEO tag team fighter looked.

I adore the grimy city aesthetic. This stage reminds me of the scene in The Warriors where the gang are avoiding a bus filled with nut-jobs out for their blood.

Fast forward to the other day, and I’m needing to think of a game that was released on a non-Sega, Nintendo, Sony, or Microsoft console (and wasn’t Metal Slug – long story) that I could nominate into the Video Game Hall of Fame, and I thought “maybe it’s time to see if that Kizuna Encounter thingy plays as good as it looks”. A bit of cheeky emulation later and I’m glad to report that it does indeed play wonderfully, and is an all-round tasty slice of fast-paced, one-on-one, weapons-based fighting action.

Kizuna Encounter: Super Tag Battle is a sequel to another NEO-GEO fighter called Savage Reign, and lots of its controls and mechanics are lifted from Real Bout Fatal Fury. However, each combatant has their very own deadly weapon and the tag team mechanic is placed front and centre. It’s the tag team thing that really makes Kizuna Encounter stand out, as you’ll lose the bout if one of your characters goes down regardless of how much health your other character has left, and tags can only be made in a certain indicated section of the arena. This means that new tactics open up, like using quick tags to isolate your opponent, and dramatic struggles to get back to your tag partner become commonplace when things get dangerous. Combatants can regain some health while tagged out, too, so the game definitely encourages players to engage with the tag mechanic. I also like how your tag partner is visible in the background at all times, and will appear raring to go or sagging and depleted, depending on how much of a beating they’ve taken.

I love a pixel art night-time city-scape. I could look at it all day. All day!

I’m far from an authority when it comes to fighting games. I’m more interested in them for the cool characters they can offer and the spectacle they can present than I am for technical moves and combos. I button mash, I rarely block, and sometimes I even play them on easy mode. With all that out in the open so that you can take my opinion with the recommended amount of salt, I did really enjoy Kizuna Encounter. It was easy to pick up and within a few bouts I was able to unleash some pretty cool moves. There’s also plenty to master, and while I never got anywhere near anything resembling “mastery” during my time with the game, I definitely got better with a couple of roster members.

Speaking of the roster, it’s pretty bombastic. I had a lot of fun playing as Max Eagle, the big, axe-wielding American wrestler with a positive attitude, and some of the character designs are super-cool. Sho Hayate is the slick, hero type character, Gordon Bowman looks like an overweight M Bison cosplayer, and rollerblading clown-punk, Joker, could be a Streets of Rage mini-boss. There are even a pair of Mortal Kombat-style pallet-swapped ninja in Mezu and Gozu, the latter of which has some pretty nifty fire-based moves.

The two new characters that were added since the previous game are probably the highlights, though, as Rosa is an eye-catching and badass katana-wielder and staff-fighting police detective Kim Sue-il is the epitome of effortless suave. They both look great against the game’s stunning backdrops, and add to the overall vibe of urban cool.

The pallet-swapped ninja have water and fire attacks respectively. Reminds me of that other game. You know, Shinobi on the Game Gear.

Those stunning backgrounds were what brought me to the party, though, being a shallow, visual kind of fellow who likes looking at cool things. The pixel art on display is phenomenal, and every stage oozes that classic SNK artistry. Glittering skyscrapers viewed from below, sprawling cityscapes seen from above, run-down alleyways, cloudy docks, neon signs, grimy overpasses, and more all await those who are ready to brave the Battle of the Beast God Tournament, and every stage is fantastically atmospheric in its own way. This includes the final arena, a sinister shrine filled with eerie statues inhabited by the final boss, mysterious crow helmet-wearing bad guy, Jyazu. That’s the background that was nicked by the Predator game, by the way.

Like I said, I’m no authority on fighting games, or on the NEO-GEO, or on SNK in general, but I do know what I like and I like Kizuna Encounter: Super Tag Battle, and I wanted to write about it so that its wonderful pixel art could grace my humble web page. SNK really knew their stuff when it came to chucking pixels on a screen, eh?

Played Via Emulation.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits

Who’s Making All These Hats Anyway?

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a visually resplendent action adventure game with a Dreamworks-style aesthetic and a melancholy atmosphere set in and around a village haunted by regret-filled spirits. It was developed and published by Ember Lab, and was the studio’s first (and at the time of writing, only) game, and was originally released back in 2021. Players take on the role of Kena, a spirit guide tasked with going to a beautiful but seemingly deserted mountainside community and putting its various spirits to rest, and cleaning up some nasty corruption along the way.

All I’d really heard about Kena: Bridge of Spirits prior to playing it was that it had some cute little fluff-balls in it, and that it had a PS2-era action/adventure vibe. It slipped under my radar until I found a copy slumming it among the kids’ karting games and Switch code-in-a-box trash in my local B&M, and decided I’d pick it up. It sat on my shelf for a month or so before it became chosen, and the seal was broken.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is at its prettiest when you’re surrounded by lush greenery in some winding forest path.

What awaited me was a very pretty game with a vague Zelda-like gameplay style and combat that initially seems simplistic but ends up being surprisingly deep and really quite difficult when it wants to be. Kena attacks with her magical staff thing, and over the course of the game will unlock other abilities like using the staff as a mystical bow and dashing through enemy attacks. The combat is kind of slow but feels responsive and is balanced well. I never got on with the parrying as Kena’s shield ability always felt very static and I would instinctively dodge and roll instead, but never felt held back by basically forgetting the shield/parry system existed. By the end of the game I was using the upgraded bomb attack to give me an edge against the difficult late-game bosses, and got into an enjoyable loop of chucking a shiny, blue bomb on the floor and then shooting it so that it would send little homing bombs off to attach to enemies, clearing out crowds of weaker foes and circumventing a certain boss’ ability to deflect bombs and arrows back at me.

All of these abilities have uses outside of battle too, and are used in various ways to solve usually-simple puzzles to progress. It’s during these exploration sequences when Kena: Bridge of Spirits feels most like a Zelda game, but Link never had a horde of up to a hundred little chubby fellas running around after him, did he?

Some hats look like they were foraged from the forest floor, others look like they were specifically made by skilled tailors and artisans. This raises questions.

That’s where this game’s main selling point comes in, or at least its unique selling point. The Rot (which comes across as a weird name but I guess it’s derived from some real-world mythology in a way that would make it make sense) are small spirits that appear to live under rocks and in chests throughout the world, and when Kena sniffs one out, they open their big, dark eyes and smile an adorable little smile and tag along for the adventure. These guys will literally follow Kena around as well, dashing behind her along forest paths or swimming through crystalline waters in her wake. They’ll appear in pots or on ledges as well, and the “main” Rot – the first one that Kena finds and the one that is revealed to have extra-special story significance – will occasionally point out nearby secrets and puzzles solutions.

There are a hundred of these Rot to find, and all of them look and act like a cross between a Minion, a Kodama from Princess Mononoke, and some kind of forest Furby. You’ll often find yourself directing them around the game world, lifting blocks, tipping pots, and swarming around corrupted plants to help banish the “poison” from the world. They’re also useful in combat, distracting some enemies, damaging others, and occasionally being able to make use of nearby flowers to heal Kena.

Due to the fact that Kena exclusively wields a staff in melee, you’ll be dishing out a lot of firm bonks.

I’m not sure how much I like the Rot. They’re fine, and they’re cute, but they’re Dreamworks cute, and I think I’m kind of done with that vibe. Also, they all look exactly the same (although some are slightly larger than others) and I would always have a little pang of disappointment when I uncovered another identical Rot. Some part of me was always expecting them to be a different colour or something, I guess. At least you can put hats on them, and I did really enjoy finding hats and forcing the little guys to wear them. My wife and daughter were far more enamoured with the Rot than I was, and practically swooned when they saw the little guy in the dinosaur hat. I just thought they were mildly charming and an interesting way to interact with the puzzles and combat. I would like to tell you whether they’re implemented in a similar way to the minions in the likes of Pikmin or Overlord, but I haven’t played either of those games so I don’t know.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits often delighted me with its visuals. There are some truly stunning environments, especially early on when exploring lovely forest paths with dappled sunlight coming through the trees. This is an exceptionally pretty game that uses influences from a melting pot of Eastern cultures to create a fairly enchanting whole. I will say, though, that I didn’t really like the characters looking like they were lifted from a modern Pixar or Dreamworks movie with a somewhat lower budget. I may be wrong, but I felt like the animation, especially the lip-syncing and general mouth animations, weren’t of a high enough quality to sit comfortably with the visual style the game was going for, and thus I left a little put off when the characters were speaking.

That red flower in the background is bad and must be smushed.

I do wish there was a bit more variety in the locations as well. The village and its surrounding woodlands look amazing, but the game only really offers up a significantly different biome towards the end, and it would have been nice to have seen a bit more variety. During certain parts of the game the weather changes, and the woods might become dark and rainy or the village might have an ominous red sky overhead. These moments are awesomely atmospheric, but are reserved for a few short, cinematic sections and then you’re back to fine weather again. Maybe a weather cycle would have been nice, but I feel like I’m nit-picking at this point. Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a fantastic looking game but if you’re not big on woods and idyllic mountainside cabins, you’re not going to find much else to get excited about.

There were a few glitchy moments, but nothing to hurt the overall experience. Sometimes the Rot would glitch into the floor or flicker in and out of existence, but given that they’re tiny magical beings who appear wherever they like, these moments were acceptable (I could tell when they were being glitchy rather than being magical, though, before you start). Kena also does the thing where if you jump onto a rock or bush that she can’t stand on she’ll kind of float around awkwardly against invisible walls and floors until she eventually lands somewhere she’s supposed to be. There are also plenty of areas where, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that she’s not standing on the ground but levitating a few inches above it. In such a lavish looking game, these little moments can take you out of the world.

Masks play an important part in the symbolism and gameplay of Kena: Bridge of Spirits. Did I mention the masks?

But what a world it is, and I had a great time exploring it. The game is fairly short and the world is fairly compact, but the whole thing is wonderfully designed, and the combat and exploration are both of a high enough quality that you should be entertained throughout. The story is fine but the atmosphere is occasionally enchanting, and the soundtrack accompanies the whole thing perfectly. The game can be difficult and the boss fights can feel epic, and there are plenty of collectibles (and lots of hats) to find to keep you busy. Also, there are optional combat and platforming trials if you like that sort of thing, as well as an unlockable New Game+ and multiple difficulty levels.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits is a great experience that doesn’t outstay its welcome and offers up a vibrant world and some cute critters to explore it with. If the idea of strolling through gorgeous woodland, digging up big-eyed little Troll-looking things, fighting baddies made out of gnarled wood and placating some non-spooky ghosts sounds interesting to you, get down to your local B&M and buy yourself a copy. Pick up some sweets or some Jammie Dodgers while you’re there maybe.

Played on PS5.

Metroid Prime 4: Beyond

Sylux, Psychics, and Sidekicks

There’s something about the Metroid series. It’s a franchise that I’ve been interested in for a long time but didn’t leap into until Metroid Dread. Sadly priced out of most of the earlier entries into the series, I did consume lots of content about Metroid lore and history following my introduction to Samus Aran’s atmospheric adventures. I then jumped into Metroid Prime Remastered, and have now finally finished my third game in the franchise with the recently-released Metroid Prime 4: Beyond. I wrote about Metroid Dread here, and did a game diary on Metroid Prime Remastered here.

Nintendo’s Alien-inspired sci-fi series is fascinating to me, as its mixture of the Japanese giant’s bright and breezy style and the horror and isolation taken from Ridley Scott and James Cameron’s pair of masterpieces creates a beguiling whole. Some of the enemies are pretty creepy, and many of the bosses are incredibly monstrous, but much of the actual horror found in Metroid is inferred from background details and logbook entries. Instead, Samus’ adventures are more tightly focused on atmosphere and that all-important sense of isolation.

I tried the mouse controls and it does work well, but I soon settled on the standard controller-style method.

So, why does Metroid Prime 4: Beyond have a super-talkative companion and radio buddy, then? Honestly, I don’t think the companion characters are that much of an issue. Mackenzie, the one that everyone has the specific problem with, is kind of annoying at first, but he’s okay in the long run, and I always felt that the side-view Metroid games did the isolation thing better anyway. If you’re put off trying Metroid Prime 4: Beyond because of the complaints you’ve heard about Mackenzie and pals, don’t be, you and Samus will still have plenty of chances for alone time in the depths of some godforsaken heck-hole, way out of radio contact from your bespectacled chaperone.

I actually managed to 100% my play-through of Metroid Prime 4: Beyond. The item completion kind of happened naturally, and then I used the internet to find the last few scans before I took on the final area. I feel no shame at this; I don’t have time to piss about aimlessly looking for something called a “blow hopper” that spawns in a single location beneath a volcano, I had to ride my motorcycle around a desert smashing through a seemingly unlimited phalanx of sparkly green crystal formations. That was my way of introducing the other biggest annoyance I’ve seen people bring up about this game, by the way; the great crystal hunt. Again, I didn’t mind it, and spent an hour before my push into the game’s final sequence riding around in a zen-like state and mopping up the last of those crystals in one fell swoop. It was okay, and it didn’t take too long, even with Mackenzie sticking his oar in over the radio link from time to time.

This game has its own share of excellent tunes, but the Phendrana Drifts music will always pop into my head when looking at vistas like this.

Right, enough babbling, let’s start the “review” already. Metroid Prime 4: Beyond looks phenomenal, and uses its rich, mystical colour palette to paint a lively and awe-inspiring fantastical world. At times it reminded me of the awesome sci-fi art of the sixties, seventies, and eighties by the likes of John Harris and Manchu, at times it reminded me of James Cameron’s Avatar series of movies, and at times, yes, it did remind me of Halo. It does have its own thing going on though, and the environments look incredible whether you’re overlooking sweeping vistas and epic sky-boxes in the desert hub area or booking it through tight corridors filled with secreted alien goop at the bottom of a vast mining complex.

I was playing on the Switch 2 in Quality Mode and the game consistently looked fantastic with no noticeable drops in performance. Occasionally I would notice a few pixelated details though, and mostly on the helmet visors of the small squad of Galactic Federation soldiers Samus encounters, or on the hammerhead shark-like face of the super-beefy allied android, VUE-995. On the rare occasions when the squad’s visors open and you see their actual faces, there are no such issues and there are some high quality facial animations on show, but the fuzziness on their helmets is noticeable on occasion and can be a minor immersion killer. For the most part though, this is a mighty fine looking game.

So, what actually happens to Samus when she’s a ball?

The gameplay is also on point. There’s nothing very new to report if you’ve already played any of the Metroid Prime games (meaning that the new “psychic” powers Samus attains aren’t actually very different from her usual abilities in practice) but if you’re new to the Metroid party, expect a super-smooth FPS experience with a slower, considered pace, a fair helping of puzzles and back-tracking, and a high-concept sci-fi feel, favouring elemental-based weapons over Aliens-style modern solid round firearms. Players are expected to engage with the world by way of scanning critters, lore items, and enemies, and by exploring every nook and cranny for upgrades. Puzzles range from simplistic to devious, but progress-blocking brainteasers never offer up too much of a problem, meaning that the pace is rarely harmed.

Comparing Metroid Prime 4: Beyond to Metroid Prime Remastered, I’d say that this game is more straightforward in its level design. There are also fewer aggravating enemies, and most players will have an easier time with the general aggressive flora and fauna (as well as the mysterious “grievers”) that make up most of the combat. One or two of the bosses put up a legitimate fight, and the final confrontation is suitably challenging, but overall, Beyond is an easier game than Prime Remastered. I didn’t mind this at all, as I did find that Prime Remastered started to wear on me at times, and the fission metroids that were encountered regularly towards the end of that game were a frustrating pain-in-the-arse to fight. There’s nothing like that here, and this is alright with me.

This is a Griever. The game’s story definitely has a light theme of grief, mourning and loss, which is unsubtly hinted at with some of the species names.

The weapons and gadgets are as fun to use as always. By collecting enough of the infamous green crystals Samus can upgrade her basic cannon, and this upgraded version feels a lot more satisfying to use. The super-charged fire shot is also a lot of fun to unleash, and the super-charged thunder shot is an absolute dream, sending a devastating beam of erratic, electric energy that homes in on every enemy nearby and erases them in a visual feast of spectacular obliteration. It almost feels overpowered, but you’ll have earned it by the time you get it, and it uses a fair chunk of ammo, too.

Not that I ever really had to worry about ammo. Well, not until the very last battle at least where I was spamming the final suit’s overshield ability which inexplicably uses your missile supplies to power up. Metroid Prime 4: Beyond locks its hard difficulty until you’ve completed the game on normal. I haven’t tried it yet, but apparently it causes save points to only restore health instead of health and ammo, so I suspect that this, along with the generally tougher enemies, means that ammo conservation comes into play a lot more if you’re brave enough and time-rich enough to go through another play-through on hard mode. I won’t be doing it, I’ve got other games to play. Those last few bits of concept art in the gallery will have to stay locked, I’m afraid.

So, should I be getting attached to these guys or nah?

I really enjoyed Metroid Prime 4: Beyond. Its stellar art direction, memorable musical accompaniment, and tried and tested gameplay and progression made for a very satisfying and compelling experience. I found the supporting cast likeable (even Mackenzie by the end) and they were used sparingly enough that the sense of isolation still had its time to shine. I enjoyed the boss fights and felt comfortable with the controls, and I only occasionally got a bit exasperated with the back-tracking and the more fiddly areas (like some of the morph ball sections in the powered-up bike factory).

Speaking of bikes, I’m a sucker for a sleek, futuristic motorcycle design, and Metroid Prime 4: Beyond does not disappoint in that regard. Vi-O-la, as Samus’ glamorous, metallic steed is known, is a highlight of the game, even if you’ll mostly be riding it around empty desert hunting down those blasted green crystals. I like a sci-fi bike, and Vi-O-la is a sci-fi bike that I like.

As a self-confessed Johnny-come-lately to the venerable Metroid franchise, Metroid Prime 4: Beyond gets an enthusiastic thumbs-up from me. Sleek, slick, and exceedingly pretty, Samus’ most recent outing didn’t outstay its welcome and kept me interested throughout, never once becoming a chore, even when I was filling the crystal receptacle so that I could get a special memory fruit or whatever that bit was all about. Look, just stop being such a blow hopper and give it a try, okay?

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes

A Hundred Hours of Procrastination

My first impressions of Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes, Yoshitaka Murayama’s 2024 spiritual successor to the Suikoden series, were exceedingly positive. Retro but in the right ways, Eiyuden Chronicle has all the hallmarks of a fun and fascinating, reasonably challenging, super-cosy JRPG experience, but my initial positivity was curbed somewhat by some mechanics and gameplay directions that caused the game’s pace to almost grind to a complete halt, and while the lengthy campaign is still soaking up plenty of my precious gaming time (I think I’m about halfway through the story right now), I’ve been finding it a bit of a chore to get through of late.

The early party – I’ve moved on from all of these guys now (except protagonist, Nowa, of course), but a couple of them still live on in my memories.

You see, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes tasks the player with recruiting over one-hundred “heroes” to the player character’s faction, many of which are capable of taking part directly in battles. If you’re like me, you’ll feel obliged to locate and recruit every single one of them. This is fine when it’s just a case of locating a more colourful and detailed sprite in one of the various settlements or dungeons dotted around the map, realising that this means it’s likely a recruitable character, and doing a quick quest to get them on board, but many of the characters are hidden behind lengthy side activities, and this is where my problem lies.

The in-game card game is fine, but that doesn’t mean I want to play it for hours on end. I’m really not interested in playing the Bakugan rip-off (give me “Tin Pin Slammer” from The World Ends With You any day of the week). Fishing is an RPG staple at this point but Eiyuden Chronicle’s take on the noble pastime is hardly riveting, and the saga-like cooking “mini-game” and side-quest can get scraped directly from the plate and into the bin, thank you very much. I want all of the characters though, so I guess I’ve got to engage deeply with all of the above. What was that about a quest to save the free nations from a scheming noble wielding the full power of the Empire’s armies? I can’t remember, I’ve been so busy miserably playing with my little spinning tops that the main story feels like a barely-remembered dream.

Secondary protagonist, Seign, gets his day in the limelight.

The actual RPG gameplay of Eiyduen Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is great; the graphics are pleasing, the character sprites are awesome, the music is lovely, developing your own town and castle is actually a worthy side activity, and the actual battles are fun. I was concerned that the vast number of recruitable characters would just result in a whole host of sidelined party members who never get the chance to shine, but thanks to the guild missions and the odd larger-scope battle where party members act as lieutenants for squads of soldiers, those unappreciated companions will still pop up here and there even if they never get a chance to do a dungeon delve with the protagonists.

Sure, it has its share of jank, can occasionally feel sluggish, and has some archaic systems, but it’s all part of the old-school charm. The full package is very positive, and classic RPG enthusiasts are sure to have a great time. However, as an adult with a wife and a child, a job, friends, other hobbies and other games to play, I like it when video games respect my time. I don’t have a problem with long games, but only if they’re naturally long and don’t feel padded out by backtracking and faff. If you want to get all of the potential party members and town helpers, Eiyuden Chronicle is very much padded out by backtracking and faff.

Sometimes, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes can really nail those cosy RPG vibes.

The card game is fine, and I wish it was the only minigame included. It can be a bit of a time-sink, but the pacing of the adventure would have been so much more agreeable if it was the only time-sink. Get rid of the egg-monster races that feel completely superfluous, get rid of the Bakugan-like “Begioma”, because the characters it introduces feel out of place and take away from the game’s more serious story aspects (and also the actual minigame is boring), and please, for the love of all that is sacred, get rid of the cooking side-quest.

There’s this recruitable chef character, you see. His name is Kurtz and he can provide the party with stat-boosting meals. This is fine, but he also comes with a completely nonsensical and lengthy side-quest where various rival chefs (often with completely ridiculous voice acting) will turn up at the inn demanding a cook-off. What follows is a “mini-game” where you just have to tap a button a lot, and a food-tasting session that takes far too long to get through and is almost completely random as to whether you’re going to win or not. A waste of my precious time, but if I want all the characters, I’ve got to engage.

Today’s main course is a freshly prepared helping of “I don’t care” accompanied by a generous side-dish of “please just leave me alone”.

For me, this is Eiyuden Chronicle’s main downfall; if you want to recruit all of the characters (and why wouldn’t you? It’s kind of the game’s thing) then you have no choice but to engage with all the nonsense, and the story’s pacing suffers hugely, as will your enjoyment level. A perfect example of a game that does too much, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is great, but it could have been so much better if it was a bit … less.

My intention with Eiyuden Chronicle from now on is to play it sparingly when I have a bit of free time and maybe get through the second half gradually in between other games (like the upcoming Metroid Prime 4: Beyond), but when you only have an hour or so spare for a session and you check off another two or three card battles and then find another goddam rival chef waiting for you at the inn it’s way too easy to lose this hour without engaging with the campaign or even with the battle system once.

The game will often require certain party members to be present. Marisa and her kangaroo pal probably wouldn’t have made it into my main team otherwise.

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes looks set to become one of my most-played games of the year, but I kind of resent it for this. When I think that I’ll have sunk more hours into it this year than I sunk into the likes of Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 and The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom I find that thought distasteful, as those games were far more worthy of my time. I still like Eiyuden Chronicle, I really do, but it’s just not designed for a busy, popular, handsome man-about-town like myself. If you have a job, a significant other, or some semblance of a social life, maybe don’t get involved with this one.

Played on Nintendo Switch 2

Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown – Game Diary

I’ve never played a Prince of Persia game before! Not the old ones with the rotoscoped animation and the punishing gameplay, or the more recent ones with the parkour-based platforming and the multiple reboots. Having gotten into Metroidvanias in recent times, I decided that Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown might as well be my introduction to the venerable franchise, and picked it up physically on PS5 for the criminally cheap price it’s reaching nowadays. So join with me now as I head into the mysterious and dangerous labyrinths of Mount Qaf! I’m sure we’ll have a royally good time.

Session 1 – 17^th October

First off, amidst all the screen brightness settings and what have you, there was an option to turn navigation on or off. It seems that putting it on would point out different objectives and pick-ups on the map to help beginners. I chose to leave it off, I’m a seasoned pro at Metroidvanias now after all. I’ve played at least four.

The opening cutscene used static art, talks about Persia suffering through thirty years with no rain, and describes an attack by people called the Kushans. Things were bleak until the “seven immortals” arrived on the scene. These were the best warriors in the kingdom, and one of them is put under my control. It’s time to say hello to the super-handsome and ripped (and admittedly very cool) dual-wielding swordsman, Sargon. We negotiated an eerily lit battlefield, fought alongside our fellow Immortals at different points, and took out a general on his horse in a battle that kind of reminded me of the second boss in 2006 Ninja Gaiden, although nowhere near as difficult.

There was a bit of a celebration at the palace after this, but there’s an ill wind blowing (there’s literal talk of winds of destruction and other such bleak, windy concepts). We’re introduced to the Prince of Persia, a fellow named Ghassan that everyone pronounces Hassan. I may have played a Prince of Persia game now, but I still haven’t played as the titular royalty. Anyway, Sargon is given a sash by the Queen of Persia and then retires to the rooftop with his fellow immortals. They have a bit of banter to further introduce the Immortals but I failed to take down any of their names. There’s a big guy who wields an anchor of some kind, an archer guy who reminds me of Bard from the Hobbit films, an older fellow with a longsword and a mask on half his face, a heroic-seeming guy in a white cloak who appears to be in charge, a tall lady with a spear and long, red dreadlocks, and an even taller lady in a scary mask. She’s missing from the rooftop banter session, but she soon turns up to inform the group that the Prince has been kidnapped. I knew there was an ill wind blowing.

It soon became apparent that Sargon’s trainer, a lady called Anahita, took him, so Sargon is emotionally invested, and we fought some of her minions. I like the combat early on. It flows and feels flashy. A simple combo, dodge, and parry system with special moves similar to many games of this type. The graphics are cool, too. I like the 3D world even though the gameplay is on a strict 2D plane, and the character models are excellent and have a painterly feel. I like it!

One thing I did notice in this opening sequence though, is that even though Sargon seems to be built like a guy of at least average height, everyone seems to tower over him, from his fellow immortals to the palace guards. Only Bard the Bowman is of equal height. As a fellow of over six feet I cannot relate to this.

Anyway, the Immortals, Sargon, and I chased the Prince and his captors to a nearby mountain called Mount Qaf, which seems to have mystical properties, and Sargon’s companions deduced that Anahita might be trying to gain the throne by using the Prince’s royal blood to get through a mystical door or something. An old, abandoned city seems to be on the mountainside, and the area is littered with twisted corpses that are definitely going to come to life.

They came to life.

I’m struggling to figure out if the combat is easy or difficult at this point. Everything is very straightforward and the enemies give plenty of warning for their various attacks, but I’m still managing to get caught out. It doesn’t help that I’ve come off the back of recently playing Shinobi: Art of Vengeance, and am expecting Sargon to share Joe Musashi’s moves and agility. I don’t mind admitting that I let Sargon die a few times.

There’s also a mechanic where you can take screenshots of areas that you think you might need to come back to. I’m not sure how necessary it is – like I said, I’m clearly a Metroidvania pro now – but I’ll try it out.

We hit some strange crystals that caused a statue frozen in a broken, falling state to reform and let us reach new areas, and there definitely seems to be a time vacuum thing going on. There are undead people who claim to have been here for thirty years too but the team seems to think that they got there the day before, and there are some NPCs that seem to have been trapped for that long without realising how much time has passed. There were also hallways festooned with spiky traps which seems to very much call back to the classic Prince of Persia games, which I appreciated despite never having played them.

We met a child who seems to dwell in the mountain, and later found a lady in a placed called the Haven who can sell us amulets and things. There’s also a blacksmith deity in this area for upgrades, and one of the Immortals takes up residence in this same safe area and offers training. It’s the older guy with the half-mask. I forget his name. Speaking of which, people keep mentioning someone called Ardashir as if I’m supposed to know who that is but I must have missed it. I’m pretty sure they’re not any of the Immortals.

To finish off this session, Sargon and I found one of the save point trees that had a talking head in it that reminded me of Mimir from the modern God of War games, (and it was at this point that I decided I’m not too sold on the voice acting) and then we fought a giant, brutish boar. Beyond this Sargon found a deceased version of himself alongside Bard’s bow (I forget the bow guy’s real name, too, sorry. I’ll get them all before the end, okay?). This bow means that we can shoot an out-of-reach crystal and get back on the prince’s trail! I’ll do that next session, though. I’ve had enough prince hunting for now.

Session 2 – 17^th October

I found some more time to play on the same day! But this session would be a short one.

Instead of going after Princey, Sargon and I decided to do some more exploring. The game seems to encourage exploring early on more than most Metroidvanias I’ve played, although maybe again I’m basing that on the very combat-focused Shinobi: Art of Vengeance, which has Metroidvania elements but probably couldn’t be classified as one.

During this exploration session I observed that I would often go to use the d-pad to move, but you can only move Sargon using the analogue stick, and down on the d-pad takes a screenshot for the map screen. I do quite like this screenshot mechanic now, as making use of it reduces needless backtracking if you’ve forgotten why you couldn’t get through an area and go back there with a new ability only to realise you still can’t get through. It also has limited uses to discourage screenshot spam, but I haven’t got anywhere near the limit yet.

We explored for a while and found mostly temporary dead ends, and were on our way to go after the Prince when I remembered the giant elevator in the middle of the map which opened up another huge area for us to explore, so we did that. I then also remembered a spooky sewer-like area in the depths of the map that the tall, masked lady told us not to bother with back along. We mooched around there for a while but the enemies were kind of tough and we never found a respawn point so we decided to come back later.

We set off after the Prince, and this new area led to a boss fight in a ruined arena with a big, scary chimera-type creature. We beat him first time and received a sparkly feather which enabled Sargon to air-dash just like Joe Musashi, and it uses the same button too! I was very happy with this as I’d been trying to do it all the time anyway. Doing the air-dash also makes a sound effect come out of the controller, a feature that Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown seems to make use of often.

Despite beating a scary monster there was still no sign of the missing Prince, so we went back to exploring with the new air dash and we finally unlocked fast travel, which is possible between strategically placed statues around the map.

After a while, Sargon finally spotted Anahita and the Prince off in the background, and we overheard Anahita telling her guards not to be too rough with him. Is she going to have honourable intentions? One of the Immortals (the leader fellow in the white cloak) showed up to help during the ensuing fight with Anahita’s (incredibly skinny and lanky) minions while Anahita and the Prince scurried off somewhere.

The next area after this was an enormous archive of knowledge inhabited with mad alchemists, and the boss stalks the area. He seems to be a blind fellow capable of one-hit kills and there are sections where Sargon must avoid his hearing radius or risk being smushed by the boss’ big, horrible stick. This reminded me of the E.M.M.I. areas in Metroid Dread. I decided to quit at this point, but not because I was scared, okay? The wife had come home from work and it was time to get some food. Priorities, you know.

Session 3 – 18^th October

We decided to start this session by heading down into the Depths area again but we passed by the Haven on the way. The little girl’s name is Fariba and she sells maps and hints for time crystals. We’ve bought the maps when she’s offered them but have resisted hints so far. There was also a new door in the Haven that goes to a challenge room. Sargon and I tried the first one and it was a dangerous platformer section in the vein of Shinobi: Art of Vengeance’s Ankou Rifts, but I think more difficult. We decided to come back later. Maybe.

A similar decision was made in the Depths. We got further in but the enemies were still kind of a pain and we still couldn’t find a tree, so we headed back to the Archive area and tried to make some progress. We quickly found a fellow referred to as the “Moon Gatherer” and this kicked off another side quest. The game gives you the option to decline side quests but I don’t see any reason not to just accept anything, so that seems strange. This Moon Gatherer is another one who absolutely towers over Sargon, and this especially brought home the height discrepancy thing to me. What is going on here? Is Sargon some kind of pixie man?

Anyway, after some further exploration I accidentally let Sargon get caught by the big boss guy who stalks the Archive. He zapped us into a prison with his nasty stick, but it was very easy to escape. Exploring this area Sargon apparently got possessed by a horrible enemy with a long, tentacle tongue and was stuck on one health bar. I found myself wondering if a tree would cure this possession but Sargon got killed before we had the chance to find out.

Not long after this we came across another Sargon! This one was very much alive and said something about needing our power because we want the same thing, and we had to fight him! We beat him first time, though, and unlocked a new special move.

Continuing on we found another external area with quite the view. There was a gigantic, and I mean gigantic, wing in the background, apparently made of rock. Following this area took us to the very top of the elevator mentioned earlier on the other side of a trap door that couldn’t be opened from below. There was a stretch where Sargon had to fight off a flock of harpies and some of Anahita’s guards and we got killed here a lot. I really think I’m still suffering from the Shinobi muscle memory, as I tend to jump into battle with multiple enemies expecting to be able to outmanoeuvre them, hit and run, and get away scot free, but Sargon can’t do that, and we ended up surviving this stretch easily by moving forward more cautiously and taking on enemies one or two at a time. That’s the key I think.

There were some nasty new enemies in the next area and the way Sargon had to manoeuvre to get to them left him open to attack when he leapt to the platform they were on. We perished a couple of times and I decided that it was time to go to bed. It was getting late and I was tired of dying on a cursed mountain in ancient Persia.

Session 4 – 19^th October

We started Session 4 by going back to Haven for some upgrades, and then started to progress towards the mountain top. We met a crazy looking old fellow who said some cryptic timey-wimey stuff, and then took in some pretty awesome and inspiring scenery before finally catching up to the Prince outside a big building that looked like a giant astrolabe type thing.

As Sargon and I went to confront Anahita, Vahram turned up and full on killed Prince Ghassan graveyard dead. What the heck? He’s the bad guy! We then had to fight Vahram and he beat us. I feel like I could have won this despite the fact that parries and special moves did nothing, but it would have been a grind and I have a feeling it would have ended up with the same cutscene anyway. Vahram got dark, time-based towers, revealed he wants to rule, beat up Sargon and threw him off the temple, then went about his business. Anahita managed to slip away thanks to Sargon’s heroics. It was all good stuff!

We then got a quick origin cutscene of Sargon meeting the Immortals, looking all frazzled and scrawny, with glowing blue eyes. He wanted to fight Vahram and, though he lost, Vahram welcomed him into the ranks of the Immortals. What’s going on there, then? I made a note here that the archer, who I’ve been calling Bard, is actually called Menolias. He still looks like Bard, though.

Anyway, down at the bottom of the pit Sargon was thrown into, he wakes up, and the weird old man is there. The old man took the artefact that enables us to use the map and stuff, so we had to give chase. We’re back in the Depths and we can’t back out this time. Also, the music here sometimes has a very unsettling scream in it.

A long chase through the Depths with no map to help us ensued, and we encountered a horrible spider man who sells stuff for the other type of currency we’ve been finding called Xerxes.

Eventually we followed the odd old fellow to a room with some time warping effects going on and another fight with another Sargon ensued. This is a Sargon who “chose a different path”, and we beat him the second try and got another special move. We also found another feather which gave Sargon a cloning type ability. I initially assumed that it would be used for “two-switches-at-once” type puzzles, but it actually leaves a crystalline echo of Sargon that he can then warp to, which definitely unlocks some interesting puzzle and combat potential.

While this feather was claimed there was a big, crystalline bird looking down at Sargon from the background, and I think it’s the same somewhat intimidating bird that’s spotted briefly in the game over screen. This is “the Simurgh”, the power behind Mount Qaf that approves new rulers.

The old man finally gave us our map back (although apparently he never took it, but I couldn’t bring up the map so he did something), and said that Ghassan can still be saved, probably using time stuff. Sargon and I have to go to a place called the Pit of Eternal Sands and confront some scary-sounding entity next, but there’s more exploring to be done first.

On the way out of the Depths (you can only fast travel from fast travel points, not from anywhere on the map) we ran into the red-dreaded warrior lady. Her name is Neith, and she asked Sargon if it’s true that he killed the Prince. We get a cutscene that shows Vahram telling the other Immortals that Sargon killed Ghassan and that he and Anahita got away, and he also tells them that he’s going to become ruler as the Queen has had her chance and the kingdom has suffered 30 years without rain and a Kushan invasion. I got all their names here. The scary mask lady is called Radjen, and she seems very keen on joining Vahram’s bid for the throne, as does Menolias. The big guy is called Orod, who also seems on board with Vahram, leaving only Neith who still wants Sargon to have his say. Lucky we ran into her first, then, because she believes Sargon and decides to stand against the other Immortals.

There’s also the Immortal who stayed at Haven, the half-mask older guy. His name is Artaban and he seems to be staying on-side with Sargon, too.

After these sweeping story developments me and Sargon explored the Depths a bit more and found an even darker and creepier location called the Catacombs. We turned back for the time being and headed back to the Haven for some upgrades before wondering into yet another new area back past the Archive where many of the enemies were invincible thanks to hard-to-reach mages giving off some kind of invincibility aura. The map just keeps expanding and expanding!

Feeling a little overwhelmed by all the new areas, Sargon and I headed back down to the Haven and upgraded our swords one more time before calling it a session. It was lunchtime, and the child and I were hungry.

Session 5 – 19^th October

A late session this time. I’m very aware that my copy of Ninja Gaiden 4 will be arriving in the post in a couple of days and am wanting to get this game done. However, it’s gonna take as long as it takes. Sargon and I headed to the Catacombs, hoping to get the story moving as it looked like the nearest place to the Pit of Eternal Sands.

The Catacombs had a nice atmosphere, and by that I mean a dark, dreary, and unsettling atmosphere with spooky music, dark, scary holes everywhere, and gross matter stuck to the walls and floors with egg sack-like things scattered about. It’s so dark that a fiery eye creature had to accompany us to light the way.

We were somewhat surprised to be confronted by a giant enemy crab in this area! A bit of a “big-lipped alligator moment” as they say, but I liked the crab, he had metal armour around one of his claws and Sargon had to get rid of that before he could do much damage. We beat him first time and headed on to the Sunken Harbor, where we found the entrance to the Pit of Eternal Sands. We couldn’t get in yet, though, and the old man was there, saying cryptic shit to us. We headed back to Haven for some upgrades and then had an explore.

We explored the Sunken Harbor and found another new area called the Soma Tree, which has a tainted forest vibe and there were antagonistic Ents walking around. The save tree here looked all knackered and gross and there was a weird head that wouldn’t talk to us, but the tree still healed Sargon and saved the game so whatever.

Soon after this we found a random child, who we had actually seen in the background ages ago but I had forgot to mention. Sargon spoke to him and he gave his name as Varham. Interesting. Sargon was nice to him and he disappeared. Not long after this we found another boss fight, a scary tree lady mounted on a giant, winged wolf. This was a badass fight and was very cinematic. It was the toughest fight yet and took me three tries. Sargon slew the tree lady and the wolf was freed from her control. He thanked us and headed off into the woods to live in peace.

We found another feather next, and now Sargon can take enemies into a pocket dimension and then throw them. Normal enemies will temporarily fight on our side after they’ve been pocked planed, but explosive enemies and items will cause damage and smash through breakable walls. This mechanic was used immediately to get out of the local area, but how are we supposed to explode the breakable walls we’ve seen throughout the map without convenient nearby explosive spores?

Anyway, we explored a bit more before bedtime and found a few interesting bits and bobs, most importantly a fight against a pair of alternate Sargons. We beat them easily and got another special move, and it was time for bed. The safety of the Kingdom of Persia will have to wait, I need my beauty sleep!

Session 6 – 20^th October

I decided to sit down to a morning session before I did today’s exercise routine, and did so with my free hot chocolate from the local Co-operative. Sargon and I felt a little aimless when we started off, but the old man’s cryptic clues seemed to imply that the abilities Sargon would need to get into the Pit of Eternal Sands could be found in the forest area and the Temple of Knowledge area past the Sacred Archive. We got the forest one already, so we headed to the archive.

We found a series of pretty cool puzzles here where you have to activate an artefact that creates multiple versions of Sargon in turn, and you have to use the first two to prepare the way so that the final Sargon can get to the goal. They were good brain-teasers. We got to the third and I couldn’t work it out and concluded that we must need another ability, but I’m not sure. We bashed our heads against it for a while and then decided to look elsewhere, but couldn’t see any other ways forward in the Temple of Knowledge.

We headed back to the Depths and found an undead version of the early boar boss. We smushed it easily but at first it seemed we only got a child’s toy collectible with a creepy nursery rhyme about locked up children written on it, but on the way back into the undead boar room we were confronted with a hooded “old woman” that turned out to be one of the spider creature things and we got an amulet out of it. An interesting little side occurrence.

I should also note here that there’s a side quest where you find pieces of a prophecy and gradually unlock a large relief sculpture on a wall, and the prophecies seem to be mentioning “two princes” a lot. Hmm, maybe I am playing as a “Prince of Persia” after all. We’ll see.

Anyway, we finally conquered the Depths and moved on to the Sunken Harbor. We found some treasures and leapt around some spiky traps and made our way to a Wak-Wak Tree we’d previously discovered. That’s what the save points are called, by the way, Wak-Wak Trees. Sorry I’d not provided that information so far.

Anyway, it was time to get my workout on. Soon I’ll be just as ripped as our Sargon! This is a lie. I will definitely never be that ripped.

Session 7 – 20^th October

It’s a post-exercise session, and Ninja Gaiden 4 is officially in the post! Judging by how much of the map is left and how we keep finding new areas, I don’t think I’ll be finishing this before Ryu Hayabusa and friends jump through my letterbox.

Sargon and I continued our exploration of the Sunken Harbor and spent quite a long time mooching about. We ran into a mimic chest creature, which I did not expect, and then we bumped into Orod, the big guy Immortal with the anchor weapon. He believes Vahram’s story and wants a fight, but wants to do it out to sea. We followed him and found the area that made me want to buy this game when I watched someone playing it briefly on YouTube, a gigantic wave, frozen in time, with ships and sailors being thrown everywhere. It’s an absolutely spectacular scene, but we can’t seem to get any further so we’ll have to come back later.

We’ve done all we can in the Sunken Harbor for now, it seems, although we did discover that explosives can be carried through fast travel using that dimensional pocket ability. This means that distant broken walls will just need to be broken through with explosives carried from far away. Using this technique we got back to the very first area and found that it has since been inhabited by giant birds! We fought a few of those and got to the very beginning of the map but mysterious sorcery keeps us on the mountain. Imagine of Sargon could have just walked home.

We couldn’t really see much else to do so we headed back to the Archive area to try those puzzles again that I mentioned in the last session. You know, the ones where you have three versions of Sargon attempt an area in turn. I finally got through the puzzle I’d given up on before – it turns out you just need to be fucking quick. Like, really bastard quick. The next puzzle was clever but we figured it out, and the next thing we knew Sargon had found another feather and gained a dimensional shift ability that allows him to use or pass by interdimensional barriers. It’s not a double jump, and there seem to be so many inaccessible areas that Sargon would need a double jump to get to, but it’s still good, as we’ve run into loads of the mystical blue barriers, too.

After claiming this feather we finally got to take on the Jailer, the big guy who put us into jail with his horrible stick. This is a hectic fight with adds, and it took me a few tries. During the second wave one of the adds is one of the guys who can possess Sargon and reduce his maximum health drastically, and if he gets you it’s incredibly hard to emerge victorious. We got him in the end, though, and claimed his key to open all his jail doors. Between that and the dimension-shifting mechanic lots of stuff is opened up to us now.

We did a great deal of exploring after this, going all over the continuously expanding map and finding bits and bobs, until eventually going to unseal the entrance to the Pit of Eternal Sands. This place has been built up quite a bit and it is very cool, with some neat backgrounds, giant crystalline thorns, and giant sand waterfalls. It has a very Arabian Nights feel and I like it. I had only planned to have a quick look at this place, but Sargon and I ended up exploring it extensively. We found another Sargon and got his special move, and eventually reached the old man and a Wak-Wak Tree head person who were building up our next foe; a creature known as Azhdaha, who I’m predicting is going to be some kind of snake creature.

We’ll have to find out next time, though, as I ended up playing for ages and needed to get on with other stuff! See you next session.

Session 8 – 20^th October

Yet another session, a late one this time, and it looks like we’ve got to unseal this Azhdaha’s lair before we can fight it. Upon going after the seals Sargon and I come across lots of crushing blocks that look a lot like snakes, so that’s lending credence to my “Azhdaha is a snake” theory. There are also giant centipedes around, too, so maybe it could be the centipede queen.

Nope, we got Azhdaha’s seals sorted and she’s definitely a snake! A very big cobra type snake with quite the piercing gaze. It was a pretty cool boss fight that we beat second time, and the big snake spoke to us afterwards. She gave us four special arrows and told us to activate four constellations. We work for the snake now? She showed us where the constellations were on the map and one was right next to us, two more were at high points on the map we haven’t explored yet, and one was miles to the East past the ocean area! How big is this game going to get? Azhdaha also gave us a feather, and her dialogue indicated she kind of just wants all this over with. The feather gave us the double jump. Finally, the fuckin’ double jump!

We met the old man again on our way out of Azhdaha’s lair, and he finally gave his name as Alkara, and then Sargon and I engaged in lots of double jump-enabled exploration. We decided to go after Orod and used the double jump to progress past the tidal wave area, and this led us through a spectacular ship battle frozen in time, with frozen lightning strikes and shattered, sinking ships and everything. It really is quite the spectacle, really awesome. Also, there’s jellyfish.

This path also seemed to be leading us to the aforementioned distant constellation too, but I had to call it a night as I was getting tired. Progress is being made, but I can’t see myself beating it before Ninja Gaiden 4 arrives.

Session 9 – 21^st October

For this morning’s session Sargon and I decided to fast travel out of the crazy paused ship battle and do some more double jump exploration in other map areas, and even though I played for quite a while I never ended up going back to go for Orod, so this was one big exploration session.

We revealed more of the relief carving and there are mentions of three princes, and one of them having to die. I now think that Sargon and Vahram are also princes. Princes of Persia, one might say.

I did get a crash, actually, while saving at a Wak-Wak Tree, and lost about ten minutes of exploration progress. I’ve had a few inconsequential glitches, like Sargon floating for a second, floor textures flickering, particle effects staying around for longer than they should, and I possibly think explosions are a little glitchy as a few times I’ve felt like Sargon was thrown across the room after the explosion had cleared. This was my first actual crash though.

We did some more Archive exploration and encountered some really tough platforming and puzzle challenges. In fact, a couple of challenges at the top right of the map felt like such BS that I had to move on. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to 100% the game is it.

We further explored the Upper City after this and encountered Menolias, who was very upset with Sargon. These Immortals need to think for themselves. Towards the end of this exploration session we explored a secret area that’s partway up the main elevator (I got a trophy a while back for discovering it) and engaged in a marathon rotating spiky deathtrap encounter. Our reward was clothes – a lovely new lilac look for Sargon – and that was the end of the session.

Session 10 – 21^st October

We headed back to the stormy seas for this session. Sargon beat up a time crystal and the ocean started moving again, making the scenery even more awe-inspiring. We met Orod out in the sea and he made a big show, but we beat him first time and it was pretty easy, despite Orod being a flashy fighter. He believed Sargon in the end and then disappeared into golden light. He was just walking around and chatting when he did so, though, so I’m not sure if he died.

The fight with Orod was next to the far-off constellation point that I’d previously mentioned, so we got that one activated. These constellations are also called “Celestial Guardians”, and there were two left, both in the Upper City. That was our next destination.

After plotting some more of the Upper City map we faced off against Menolias near the westernmost constellation point. This fight was way harder than Orod, as Menolias was really difficult to even get close to and had a nasty counter-attack move ready if you did catch up to him. I didn’t keep count, but I’d say it was the fifth or sixth try when we got him. This was the hardest fight yet by far. Just like Orod, he accepted Sargon’s innocence upon defeat, and then disappeared in golden lights. This came across like he died, though, and Sargon even commented on his death. Sad times! He looked like Bard until the end.

Defeating Menolias earned Sargon the ability to teleport to his chakram. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but the chakram is the secondary ability of the bow, so this should be a super-helpful ability.

Anyway, slaying two immortals was enough for one session. I might squeeze another session in later.

Session 11 – 21^st October

A got another one in! During this session I was distracted by loud children and the fact that Ninja Gaiden 4 had arrived. I need to stick this one out before I let myself go on that one, though!

Anyway, Sargon and I headed for the last constellation and came face to face with a fairly elaborate puzzle where you have to use the pocket dimension thing on these pink crystals to activate things and then align a big turning multi-wheel thing. We got past this and met up with Anahita. I’d almost forgotten about her! She said she kidnapped the Prince on the Queen’s orders, and offered to help Sargon but Sargon can’t trust her. There’s no immortal fight before this constellation, just the puzzle and the brief meeting with Anahita. After activating the final constellation the quest log told us to go to the Altar of Constellations so that’s what we did. It’s a place we’ve passed through before.

After activating the altar, Sargon went back in time to when Vahram killed Prince Ghassan and stopped the heinous crime! Anahita got killed instead and past Sargon was confused, but there was no time to explain because it’s a Vahram fight! This is a cool fight as past Sargon helps early on, and Vahram has loads of cool time powers. Got him on the second try.

A cutscene ensued explaining that Vahram is King Darius’ son and the rightful heir, and that Darius was killed by the current Queen. She’s the usurper! That’s why the Simurgh has gone and Persia has had 30 years of drought. However, Vahram has taken things way too far, so he’s still a bad guy too. It’s not over, as he’s still at large and wants all the power. Anahita drifts away in golden light and the two Sargons merge and Sargon gets the grapple ability using his sash (that the Queen gave him). Prince Ghassan is just stood there all like “what just happened?” He says we need to go to the Tower of Silence next to get a key. We’ve been there before. It’s very chilly.

We explored with the new grapple sash ability and found the architect of all these traps and crazy halls. She gave us a quest to complete all of her puzzles around the map but I’ve only done around half of them. For a long time I thought they were something I’d need to come back to but then I worked out a couple of them and realised I could have solved them as I got to them. I can’t remember where they all are though and there are some I can’t figure out. She won’t let me inside her workshop unless I solve all her puzzles. Oh well.

Next we went to the Haven and the shaman woman there had a new item to sell. It was an item that allows Sargon to fast travel between Wak-Wak Trees! This is huge! The previous fast travel statues were few and far between but the Wak-Wak Trees are somewhat plentiful. Getting around is now so much easier.

We found a lighthouse beyond the forest area which had a long and difficult grapple-jumping section to get to it and Sargon fell off (it was my fault). Instead of losing health and respawning, though, he fell down to a brand new area in the ocean section with a giant warship suspended in mid-air!

We also found a hermit somewhere who challenged us to complete an “impossible climb”. I tried it a few times and, well, I can’t disprove its title yet. That was enough for this session. I’ll definitely finish this before I play Ninja Gaiden 4, though. I’ve got to be near the end, right?

Session 12 – 21^st October

This was a very late, post Dungeons & Dragons session, but I felt pretty awake so felt like I could make some decent progress. We started by attempting that “impossible climb” again but gave up after a few tries as we wanted to get moving, so we headed off to the Tower of Silence, which was appropriate considering at the time my right ear was playing up and I couldn’t hear anything through it.

This place had lots of sharp ice crystals and spikes and grapple platforming. We finished a side quest here to face all of Ardashir’s lost warriors and fast travelled out to face time-crazed Ardashir himself. He was a pretty easy fight but at least I vaguely remember him from early in the game now. It seems he was the Queen’s general.

Back to the Tower of Silence and we found Farina and bought her map of the place. It’s huge but currently we had to focus on opening a door by sounding three goings. However, we were distracted once again as we finished another side quest, the prophecy one. The finished prophecy was kind of ominous and the carving showed Vahram with four angel wings. Final boss preview, maybe?

Back to the Tower of Silence again and we found Vahram at the top with the remains of his father, the great King Darius, who we’ve heard so much about in the lore collectibles. Vahram was talking about ascension and stuff, and then he disappeared and his father rose from the grave. Undead king boss fight? Undead king boss fight. It was a cool fight, the late King Darius was very big and had a very big sword. We killed him third try, but the second try was a bust because I was distracted by taking notes for this diary. We got a key for his palace for defeating him, and headed back towards Upper City. Neith was waiting for us. I’d almost forgotten about her! She was worried about Sargon being corrupted by the Simurgh’s powers.

We decided not to go into the palace tonight but we did decide to go for a quick climb. An “impossible climb” some might say. Well, we proved it wrong and succeeded in getting all three magical bells, and all we got was a lousy bit of metal and some background lore about a baby being swapped. At this point it was about one in the morning, so it was time to stop. With a bit of luck I’ll finish the game in the morning and be able to make a start on Ninja Gaiden 4 in the afternoon.

Session 13 – 22^nd October

Unlucky Session 13 starts off with some map clean-up. There was one Xerxes coin that Sargon and I were having massive trouble with in the very top corner of the Temple of Knowledge map. It’s in a tiny square area surrounded by spikes with these blocks that fly in from the foreground, and you have to activate these blocks and stand on them without them crushing you, and it can fuck right off.

I watched a video of someone doing it online and it seemed that I was overcomplicating the block summoning with teleportation when I didn’t need to and it was more about timing double jumps. With this information in mind I managed it after another few goes. That left what I thought were two more architect puzzles. I decided to look them up, too.

The one in the Pit of Eternal Sands, well I’m glad I looked it up. It had two crushing blocks and two statues looking over it. I’d messed around previously and thought that maybe I needed to grab an enemy in the pocket dimension thing and sacrifice them with the blocks and it didn’t work. It turns out that you needed to sacrifice a specific statue enemy from the Upper City, which I think was a bit of a stretch to figure out on your own. I mean, sure there are statues watching over the crushing area, but still.

The other architect puzzle I thought I hadn’t completed was the Sunken Harbor noughts and crosses one but it turns out I had. I had no recollection of this until looking it up and remembered you had to use the chakram to finish the row of noughts, and the chest that appeared was a mimic and everything.

With all the architect puzzles done Sargon and I went back to the architect and solved one more neat little puzzle using the map emblems and got inside the workshop! There were a load of lore items and the last health boosting item. I congratulated myself heartily. Well done me.

All that was left at this point other than the final confrontation were a few bits of lore and the platforming and combat challenges in the Haven. We tried one of the challenges once more and I decided we should go and fight a god-powered immortal warrior prince. It would probably be easier.

There were a few more rooms and battles to negotiate beyond the palace doors, and then Sargon finally reached Vahram. He was after the heart of the Simurgh, and he asked Sargon to join him once more. Sargon refused and Vahram merged with the heart and buggered off into time and space. Sargon despaired, but the Simurgh itself spoke to him and told him to accept all his alternate selves as a part of the whole. Sargon still wanted to save Vahram and that gave him strength.

We negotiate one more simple platforming section in a big space/time vortex thing and then it was time to meet with Vahram, god power Tron lines and four angel wings and all. A truly epic fight ensued, and Sargon and I got to his third phase on the first try. The second phase added a giant sword to the mix and the third added a self-cloning ability for big V.

The fourth phase was awesome, as Vahram went super-powered but so did Sargon, enhanced by the Simurgh itself. Once on equal footing, Sargon managed to finish Vahram off. Vahram came to his senses and sacrificed himself to return the Simurgh’s heart, and the game had been completed.

The ending showed Sargon returning with Prince Ghassan. They both left, but not before Sargon exposed the Queen’s murder of King Darius to her people. Then Sargon sat alone by the water and a bird flew down next to him. The reflection revealed that it was the old man, Alkara, before he flew off again. Sargon also mentioned that Orod, Menolias, Radjen, and Varham all died, but I didn’t see Radjen at all aside from a couple of brief early encounters. What’s going on there then? Post-game content?

The post-credits stinger showed that Neith and Artaban had brought the child version of Vahram back from Mount Qaf and promised to raise him well and look after him, and then Sargon rode off. So he wasn’t a prince? Were the three princes in the prophecy Ghassan, Vahram, and young Vahram? Who was the switched baby? Have I played as a Prince of Persia or not?

Anyway, this game was great and I’d recommend it to anyone. Bastard hard at times, but mostly in optional sections. In a way, I’d say it’s the opposite of Metroid Dread, in that the really tough bits in that were the bosses, whereas the boss fights in Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown are like days off compared to some of the platforming. The only boss I had any real trouble with was Menolias.

Anyway, like I said, this was a fantastic game, and was a great introduction to the Prince of Persia series for me. Am I going to play any more? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like this one.

Mario Kart World – Four Months Later

Keep on Karting

If you read my previous article about Mario Kart World (written on the day of release, I believe), you might remember that I said my favourite thing to do was drive across water. I’ve since changed this opinion. Don’t get me wrong, tricking off the crest of dynamic waves caused by exploding blue shells and bob-ombs is good, chaotic fun, but the long stretches of calm water actually tend to be the low-points of your average intermission.

Right, now that I’ve retconned that outrageous take, let’s talk about how Mario Kart World is holding up four months after release to a casual player like me. I’ve seen loads of analysis online, but YouTube suggests the popular analysis and the popular analysis is made by competitive, online players. I play Mario Kart World with my daughter, I can barely remember where all the whacky rail shortcuts are supposed to be let alone hit them with anything remotely resembling consistency, and I don’t need to be constantly challenged and faced with split second decisions at all times to stay entertained. Sometimes I just want to look at a nice sunset and listen to some cool music while I strategically place banana peels on the tarmac.

Well, Mario Kart World has plenty of dazzling vistas and an awesome soundtrack to go along with them. Many of the tunes have made it onto my list of regularly played video game music pieces on YouTube, and I often find myself whistling the themes to Faraway Oasis or Cheep Cheep Falls while at work, much to the chagrin of my new manager who apparently doesn’t like whistling. Maybe she just doesn’t like my whistling. Sucks to be her, I guess.

I only played as King Boo for a bit of screenshot variety.

The actual racing gameplay of Mario Kart World is best in class, too. All of the courses are awesome, with very few tracks that come across as weak or forgettable, and this latest iteration of Rainbow Road is absolutely stunning. I was quite moved on my first play-through, dazzled by the gorgeous visuals, glorious music, and beautiful set-pieces. What an experience.

I also don’t mind the intermissions, and I guess this is where my casual nature – and my lack of interest in playing online – comes in. It’s nice to just blast through some open lanes, chucking shells at my fellow road-users and taking in the sights. Sure, I don’t always want to play them, but it’s easy enough to do a series of full courses while offline, so I really don’t see them as an issue. So far, so good, right? Right. Well, I do have some concerns, and they’re mostly to do with the open world.

I’ve always had a thing with driving games where I imagine longingly what it would be like to break free from the track and drive wherever I wish. I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling. Whether its being fascinated by those pixelated mountains on unattainable horizons in Lotus Turbo Challenge, being compelled to veer off the track and direct my Lancia Delta into the Finnish forests in Colin McRae Rally ’04, or indeed wondering what’s beyond those colourful, ocularly endowed hills in earlier Mario Kart games. However, when I do play games that actually allow you to do this, I tend to fall off of them pretty quickly, the Forza Horizon series being an appropriate example. I guess the realised worlds, no matter how gorgeous and expansive, can never live up to our imaginations.

I thought that Mario Kart World might be the exception – this is a big budget game made by one of Nintendo’s top level teams, after all – but it’s actually kind of empty. There’s stuff to do, like the missions and the blocks and the Peach coins, but there’s also a heck of a lot of nothing, and the missions, blocks, and coins only unlock stickers anyway. The stickers are wonderfully designed, but all you can do is look at them (and choose one for your little emblem, I think?). It’s been said many times, but it would have made way more sense if the outfits and characters were locked behind these open world aspects. The way you unlock both seems crazy to me. Why are outfits locked behind food? Why are characters locked behind the barely-seen Kamek item? Both mechanics just feel esoteric and unfinished.

Mario Kart World’s open world is beautiful, and I do enjoy driving around, finding missions, listening to the music and taking in the scenery with Daisy, the best princess of all, but it’s also a facade. There’s not really anything going on, the toads, yoshis, and shyguys wave and get in and out of their cars, but they’re not really doing anything, there are no real secrets to find, very little in the way of Easter eggs or cool hard-to-reach areas (I don’t count Daisy’s palace because it’s, well, right there), and no one to interact with outside of the occasional Chargin’ Chuck who you’ve got to hit with a green shell. No secret Blooper cave, no mysterious, caged Thwomp that the internet can theorize over, no out-of-the-way corner where a strange, creepy sound plays for no apparent reason. It’s just a bit bland, and I wanted more.

It helps if you think of it as more of a theme park than an actual functioning, populated landmass, but that still doesn’t make up for the general emptiness. Still, they’ve just added an update with a few more UFOs around the place, and they’ve apparently addressed that thing that people are upset about online with the intermissions. There’s no telling what future DLC might bring, so I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out as the game inevitably grows, and in the meantime, playing the cups and the knockout tours with my daughter is always going to be great for an hour of fun. Still, my dreams of exploring a vast, beautiful and interesting Nintendo-fied world and immersing myself in the bright colours as a form of beautiful escapism during these trying times have not come to pass.

The music often adds to the theme park vibe.

It’s still the only proper Switch 2 game I own. I’ve got Metroid Prime 4: Beyond preordered, and will hopefully be getting Yooka-Re-Playee because it looks great and is getting a proper physical release, but I’d like to have a few more excuses to turn my new Nintendo on other than using it to play Switch games. I’m a little worried that my Switch 2 collection won’t grow to epic proportions, as I refuse to buy key cards and the grand majority of third parties seem to be going with them even when they’re releasing their games physically on other consoles. That’s another rant, though, that I don’t want to get into right now. Let’s try to stay focused on the matter at hand. Mario Kart World; it’s bloody great in some ways and somewhat disappointing in others. I should’ve just said that at the start and saved everyone some time.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound vs. Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Battle of the Ninja

Sometime in the last couple of years, the planets aligned on the same night that a full moon cast an eerie light over the bamboo forests at the base of Mount Fuji, and two separate studios came up with the idea of resurrecting a classic 2D ninja franchise for modern consoles at the same time. Lizardcube dragged Joe Musashi out of the shadows with the Sega-published Shinobi: Art of Vengeance, and The Game Kitchen shone a spotlight on Ryu Hayabusa, creating the Koei Tecmo and Dotemu-published Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound. Well, kind of. Ryu Hayabusa is in the game, but he’s not playable.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound came out first, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance was the first one to get a physical release, so it was the first one I played. I was going to buy them both on Switch, but the boxed release of Shinobi was a code-in-a-box, which I soundly rejected as everyone should, so I got that one on PS5. Still, I played Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound docked on my Switch 2, and didn’t notice any particular performance issues in either game, so I think it’s still a fair fight. As such, it’s time for me to figure out which 2D ninja action game is the best, and I do this as a fan of both franchises who is old enough to have played both back when they were first released. No ninja favouritism from me!

I’m going to use the most coveted and respected review setup of all, that being the method adopted by premier 90’s periodical, Mean Machines Sega. As such, we’ll be judging each title on the following aspects; Presentation, Graphics, Sound, Playability, Lastability, and Overall. Make sense? No, not to me either, but we’ll get into that shortly, so get your tabi on and bring your kunai, it’s time to take to the shadows.

Presentation

So, what’s the difference between presentation and graphics/sound, then? I guess I’m just not on the level of those fabled Mean Machines Sega writers of old, because I don’t really get it. I’ll tell you what, I’ll use this section to talk about each title’s story setup instead. That’s kind of like presentation.

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance’s story is pretty basic, with a fairly unremarkable bad guy who is leading an enormous and incredibly well-equipped army of soldiers, creatures, and demons on a steamroller journey of world domination. The bad guy, known as Lord Ruse, has somehow cheated Death (yes, the Death) out of his scythe, and so wields incredible power. Ruse’s forces hit Musashi’s village early on and burn the whole place to the ground, murdering everyone except Joe and Joe’s pregnant wife. Mr. Musashi is obviously fairly pissed, and goes on his own rampage with vengeance on his mind.

Being able to play as a ninja of the Black Spider Clan is pretty cool for Ninja Gaiden fans.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound has an interesting story hook in which main character, Kenji of the Hayabusa Clan, ends up becoming a vessel for the soul of Kumori, an equally skilled kunoichi aligned with the shady Black Spider Clan. The two must work together to defeat the minions of a powerful fiend who plans to open the veil into the human world and wreak havoc. The bad guys feel less important than those of Shinobi: The Art of Vengeance, but the relationship between Kenji and Kumori is actually pretty fun to see develop, and the game’s finale wraps up their story in a surprising way, so I think this one takes it.

Winner: Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound

Graphics

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance goes for that playing-a-comic art-style that Lizardcube had previously used for Streets of Rage 4. It looked great for that game, and it looks great here, and most of the enemy designs are very memorable (I especially like the big guys with the electric gauntlet weapons).

The symbol over this unfortunate fellow’s head means that he’s ready to be executed. Finish him off, Joe!

The backgrounds can be spectacular, with highlights including the sparkling lantern festival, the gorgeous fields that the game starts in, and the rooftops of the night-time city stage. Where Shinobi: Art of Vengeance really excels though is in its animation. Joe’s movements are incredibly fluid and the battles look spectacular, and this helps you feel super cool and badass when you pull off spectacular moves while managing to avoid damage.

Do the visuals lose some personality and authenticity with the move away from pixel art, though? Possibly, and occasionally it feels like the backgrounds lack detail, but it’s a superb-looking game overall nonetheless.

Both games feature a really cool-looking bamboo forest early on.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound has more of a retro feel, opting for the familiar pixel art style. This looks great, although perhaps not as striking as Shinobi. Some of the backgrounds look awesome, especially the early-game bamboo forest and the areas in and around Mount Fuji. However, there were locations that I thought were a little bland with uninteresting colour palettes, especially the stage that’s a big construction area. I also found that Keni’s arms looked cartoonishly huge when he was holding onto the ceiling or hanging off a helicopter. Both he and Kumori’s sprites are gorgeous, though.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound gives players the option to turn off the gore, but honestly it’s pretty cartoony anyway.

Interestingly, both games have a couple of levels and a sub-section of enemies based around body horror themes, and both of them kind of fall flat when it comes to making it, well, gross enough. You know, that sort of stuff should send shivers down your spine, leave you morbidly fascinated and unable to look away despite the soul-clenching nature of what you’re seeing. For an example, look at Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master and its Hydra boss fight, as well as the stage that proceeds it. Shinobi: Art of Vengeance’s gribblies look too clean and sleek thanks to the art style. Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound’s pixel art style gives the twisted horrors a bit more of a visceral nature, but they still look a bit too cartoony to be effective, even the monstrosity fought at the end of the train stage. Disappointing.

Honestly, there were times during Shinobi: Art of Vengeance where I found myself wishing it went for a pixel art style (especially in the underground laboratory level), but I think that it looks better overall. Both games look great, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance has that extra edge. Lizarcube are winning this one, but it’s darned close.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Sound

While both games sound good, and both games have great, appropriately action-packed soundtracks, only Shinobi: Art of Vengeance had any pieces that I remembered after I’d finished the game. They were the track that plays during the “Ankou Rift” sections, and the battle music from the Lantern Festival stage, if anyone is interested.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Playability

Here we go, the meat and potatoes of any ninja game, or should that be the rice and tofu? Let’s get one thing cleared up straight away; Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is harder. I beat most bosses in Shinobi: Art of Vengeance on my second try, and didn’t have any real trouble until the very last showdown with Lord Ruse himself. The first boss in Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound (a giant fire bat monster demon guy) took me numerous retries, and things only got more challenging. It never felt insurmountable, though, and I persevered and finished the game in the end. Incidentally, Shadow of the Ninja – Reborn (click here for my review), is harder than either of these games.

This floating boss might not look like much, but is an absolute bitch.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is a decidedly old-school action platformer that plays like an updated version of the classic Ninja Gaiden games, and it’s definitely closer to its inspiration than Shinobi. Kenji can do two quick slashes with his sword, and can fling projectiles thanks to Kumori’s assistance. The pair have access to a few equippable special weapons and abilities, and can leap from enemies, projectiles, and certain pick-ups using a mid-air attack, which becomes very important for traversal and combat as the game progresses.

Most enemies fall in one hit, but others are much tougher and require Kenji to get up close and slash away, putting himself at risk of some health bar-sapping counter-attacks. However, there’s a nifty mechanic that can help to make these big boys and girls less of a pain. Certain enemies will have visible auras, and depending on whether you defeat them with the right kind of attack, Kenji can sap this aura, super-powering his next strike, which will make short work of the tougher enemies if you play it right. This mechanic also comes up during every boss fight, and it can feel pretty good when you take out a group of tough enemies or stun a boss thanks to smart use of the available auras.

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance feels much more modern and further away from the Shinobi games of old, with Joe Musashi gaining directional attacks, upgradeable combos, and a satisfying execution move. There’s a similar system of equippable items that have in-game effects, but I felt more compelled to experiment with different loadouts in Musashi’s outing. Art of Vengeance will also have players going back to earlier stages once new abilities have been unlocked in order to get to new areas, and as such it has a bit of a Metroidvania flavour. I’m a fan of the ways Lizardcube have expanded on the traditional gameplay, and it still feels like a Shinobi game despite these changes.

Moving platforms over electrified water with rotating flamethrower turrets. Good luck!

Shinobi: Art of Vengeance also has some devious platforming sections. I didn’t find the Ankou Rifts too bad (optional areas that provide combat or platforming challenges that provide Joe with a stronger weapon if you beat them all) but there were occasional optional areas in the main levels that slipped from challenging to aggravating. The most egregious example of this was a platforming section known as the “secret bunker” in the battlefield stage late in the game. That place was a nightmare, and was the only time I felt like the controls were working against me, but I beat it.

Both games have some really cool set-pieces, including levels based on moving trains, and “mounted” stages, with Shinobi having a mechanised surfboard interlude as well as another one that’s a slight spoiler, and Ninja Gaiden having a couple of sections on a scrambler bike belonging to Kumori. One later stage in Ninja Gaiden has Kenji leaping from vehicle to vehicle in a military convoy, which was a nice bit of spectacle.

You wouldn’t believe how unnaturally talented Kumori is in the saddle.

Lastly, I encountered glitches in both games. Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound had Kumori riding her motorcycle backwards after a collision in one of the on-wheels stages, which was a little confusing and immersion-breaking but didn’t hurt in the long run, but there was one instance of a section of a level starting with Kenji falling through the floor and dying, even when I restarted from the last checkpoint. I had to quit the game completely and restart the level from the beginning to get past it, which was annoying.

Shinobi: The Art of Vengeance hit me with a recurring glitch where the map screen wouldn’t correctly identify where Joe was in the stage, which actually proved to be a major setback when I was searching for the last few collectibles in a stage. Also annoying.

Both games are incredibly smooth and satisfying to play, though, and are challenging in such a way that rarely falls into frustration. However, due to the sheer spectacle and “cool” factor of Shinobi’s combat, I have to hand it to Joe.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Lastability

Well, the campaign in Shinobi: Art of Vengeance is a lot longer. With the expansive, Metroidvania-lite levels and the backtracking Joe Musashi’s adventure will last you a fair bit longer if you’re the type to play through a campaign once and then move on. When the campaign is completed an arcade mode is unlocked where the goal is to finish each stage in a good time while locating all the collectibles and taking as little damage as possible (as well as finishing the boss off using the awesome execution mechanic). Attaining S rank is pretty challenging, and then when you add in the Ankou Rifts, an unlockable boss rush mode, and the optional secret boss, there’s plenty there for completionists to get on with.

Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound is a more focused experience, with the ranking mechanic applied from the beginning of the game. In my experience it was slightly easier to attain an S rank in Ninja Gaiden (depending on whether one of the stage’s challenges involved beating the boss without damage or something crazy like that), but I didn’t especially try for the S ranks in either game so I can’t speak with too much authority on it. Once the campaign is completed a hard mode is unlocked, and there are also secret ops missions which are challenging optional stages in the vein of Shinobi’s Ankou Rifts.

When it comes to sheer content, though, I’ve got to give this one to Mr. Musashi again.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Overall

Well, it’s looking like a bit of a Shinobi whitewash at the moment, but that’s really not the case. Every single category was very close, especially the all-important playability category, and the relationship between Kenji and Kumori in Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound did add a lot of personality to win me over. Of course, Joe Musashi is a legend, and Kenji and Kumori are mere newcomers, but I really enjoyed their interactions and this iteration of Joe comes across as more of a personification of vengeance who says literally one word over the course of the entire game. That does give him a badass edge, though.

Like I said early on, both franchises mean a lot to me. I played and loved the Shinobi games as a kid on the Master System and Mega Drive, but I didn’t play any Ninja Gaiden games until the 2004 reboot and only played the classic games in retrospect. However, whereas I view the Shinobi games as great titles, 2004’s Ninja Gaiden is one of my favourite games of all time, so there’s no real favouritism here. Just based on how I feel about both games, though, I don’t think I can wrangle a plot twist and name Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound as the overall winner despite Shinobi taking most of the categories. It’s great, but Shinobi: Art of Vengeance just has that edge, a more palpable “cool” factor, and the combat is so darned satisfying.

Winner: Shinobi: Art of Vengeance

Really, though, both games are winners, and I’m just grateful to have had the opportunity to play two brand new 2D ninja action games here in 2025. Which ever game you choose to play you’re in for a fun and challenging time that has plenty of spectacular content to offer, and if you’ve got a few extra pennies, you could always double up. Support your local ninja in these trying times. Buy both!

Alien: Isolation

Is This a Rescue Mission, or Another Bug Hunt?

One of the last scripts I wrote for the sadly-defunct TripleJump YouTube channel was a giant list ranking every single Alien and/or Predator video game ever made. Unfortunately, the channel went under before the video was released, but here’s a peek behind the curtain for you; Sega’s 2014 survival horror hit, Alien: Isolation, was at number one. However, despite heavily featuring the perfect organism in a starring role, Alien: Isolation isn’t a perfect game, but it is probably the closest a video game has come to perfectly capturing the atmosphere of the movie franchise upon which it’s based, Alien or otherwise.

This is Amanda Ripley. Her family line has pretty appalling luck when it comes to run-ins with predatory space bugs.

Creatively assembled by British studio, Creative Assembly, who are most well known for the Total War series and its combination of real-time battles and grand strategy, Alien: Isolation took the developers into unfamiliar territory. With very little experience in the survival horror genre, Creative Assembly made a host of outside hires, and soon enough a 100-strong team were orchestrating visceral encounters and crafting ’70s-style retro tech.

The crew were reportedly handed around three terabytes of production material from 20^th Century Fox, and through deconstructing this “gold mine” of information, they were able to build a startlingly authentic world that specifically recalled the atmosphere of Ridley Scott’s 1979 original. Stellar lighting and graphical effects, flawless sound design, and a talented cast of voice actors all combined with this vision to create one of the most atmospheric and genuine movie-to-game experiences ever seen.

For a game released in 2014, Alien: Isolation’s environments can look pretty insane. The character models are showing their age a bit though.

It’s pretty scary, too. For most of the game, the player character (Amanda Ripley, daughter of the legendary Ellen Ripley) is completely defenceless against the overwhelming speed, power, and bitey bits of the towering xenomorph, and will have to sneak around quietly, hiding in every available nook, cranny, or orifice in order to avoid a swift and gory demise. They even made it so that the alien can hear sounds that come through your mic, breaking the fourth wall in an unsettling manner and making it so that the hoot of an errant owl in your living room can spell death for poor old Amanda. I told you to keep that window shut.

As I already mentioned, though, this is not a perfect game. Progression can fall into a trial and error process at times, and clever players can work out the xenomorph’s AI, thus being able to manipulate the initially panic-inducing monstrosity into easily-avoidable loops. On the other end of that scale, less proficient players might find themselves constantly harassed by the chitinous terror’s perpetual presence, with observers noting that the xenomorph’s AI tends to be a little too adept at homing in on Miss Ripley even when it should logically be at the other end of the station, violently breaking and entering the cranium of some other defenceless schlub.

Can I tell you a secret? I haven’t finished this game. It’s just too long.

It’s at times like this when Alien: Isolation’s cloying horror can teeter on the verge of aggravation and annoyance, and players might find themselves desensitised to Amanda’s torso getting brutally severed by the xenomorph’s spiky tail after the fourteenth time in a row while fear turns to frustration and frustration turns to controller-throwing rage. All of this, along with long stretches of dealing with the less-interesting android enemies, means that Sega’s most beloved Alien adaptation can outstay its welcome a bit.

During its high points, though, Alien: Isolation is excellent – a stunning interpretation of the first film’s timeless atmosphere and an almost unbearably tense and trouser-ruining experience throughout. As the game celebrated its ten-year anniversary in October 2024, Creative Assembly employee and Alien: Isolation creative director, Al Hope, confirmed that the team are working on a follow-up, and if they iron out the annoyances that made Alien: Isolation fall just short of all-time great status, this follow-up has a chance to be the best sequel since Aliens.

The Seegson androids have more in common with Ash than Bishop. That’s a bad thing.

This article was written for the now-defunct Sega Force Mega as part of a planned Halloween special featuring lots of Sega-published Halloween-appropriate games, alongside The Ooze and Devilish. This is the last unpublished article I’d written for that magazine. I updated the intro to reflect the fact that TripleJump are also now defunct.